HomeSchoolDaddy

Still moving...Wordpress Links

2008-10-25T21:36:00.003-04:00

Hello, all. I've been busy, even if it seems from this site that things have stagnated again. I have two new posts at the Wordpress site. No offense to the keepers of this domain, but I'm just more inclined to work on my posts when my mobile application is working on my iPod, and for some reason Blogger just doesn't like mobile uploads. So here are the latest links...

Without You

Saying What He Said

I'm writing from Atlanta where I'm accompanying our Pastor on a church visit. The fellowship has been nice, but I'm feeling a little beat after dealing with the loss of our dear friend Mr. Wilkes Kemp on Monday. Mr. Kemp was Marcus' godfather and a constant presence in their early lives. He and his wife watched the kids for many a day while my wife began working. Their granddaughter and our kids grew up side by side, and Mr. Kemp helped mentor Christopher through the youth program of the fraternity Phi Beta Sigma, called the Sigma Beta Club. In all these things Mr. Kemp was the consummate gentleman, Christian and role model. His homegoing on Monday promises to be an emotional day for our church and family.

Of course, life has gone on, and I'm also taxed by the family and ministry concerns of the week. But I don't want to spend time magnifying my problems when others have much more do deal with - plus the fact that I'm definitely not prepared to maintain 2 blogs, much less three (my music site has been quiet for months!) So please click on the following link if you wish to subscribe to the RSS feed for Wordpress. I'll leave this link active as long as needed for others to find my new address...

http://homeschooldaddy.wordpress.com/feed/

Thanks again to everyone and may God bless you according to His riches in glory...

Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

Ready or not...

2008-10-16T00:34:00.002-04:00

OK, it's time for the perfectionist in me to move over. I've toiled and tried theme after theme in the Wordpress site and still, I don't feel like I've gotten the look I like, but it's been two weeks and even my wife is questioning my commitment to changing the site. Blogger looks better with the new header, huh?

Anyway, it's time to unveil the Wordpress site and let you be the judge. Yes, it doesn't have many of the gadgets I have in Blogger, but I like the chat feature and the overall look. If I don't get major feedback on the positive side, well, maybe I'll leave it here. Or, more likely, I'll start learning how to create my own template so I can have exactly the features I want. The site address is the same, except "Blogger" is now "Wordpress."

http://homeschooldaddy.wordpress.com/

I've placed "Back to Basics - Part 2" in the Wordpress site. All of my former posts were also imported for archival purposes. Again, please let me know if you approve of the new design. I could be swayed either way at this point.

Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

On the Move....

2008-10-02T00:25:00.002-04:00

I'd like to take a moment to thank any and all of you that have been so gracious to spend time reading my ruminations. It's been incredible just looking back over my old posts and realizing how much I've changed, how my children have matured, and how our family has become stronger and closer through this wild ride of family learning. As I was inspired by the blogs I mentioned in the last post, I've also been inspired to update the look and feel of the site, and I can't figure out Blogger's advanced features enough to make any major changes. So, I'm making a major change of my own and moving the blog to Wordpress.

I'm not totally done with the transition yet, and when I'm done the blog will appear in this space but won't be updated anymore. I may do a few more posts to make sure that everything is in order, and of course I'll post links and RSS Feeds to the new address. I will probably leave my other blog (Help, I'm a Church Musician) in Blogger as well since I'll still use Picasa and other Google services.

Hope this won't throw off any long time readers (all 3 of you...) Keep living, learning and loving.

Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

Back to Basics...Part I

2008-10-01T08:59:00.004-04:00

I've been inspired and maybe a bit chastised by reading some great homeschooling blogs as of late, including from Charlotte Mason experts and fatherhood proponents. Perhaps my last few entries have strayed from the purpose of detailing how this homeschooling dad makes it through the day.

I thought I might detail the basics of our family learning philosophy, as fragmented as it may be, to provide context to the examples of our curriculum and activity choices. There's no formula that I picked up in any one book or manuscript here; rather, it is the combination of all the learning and experience of the last three years that we have taken this journey. Here's the first and most important -

1) Knowledge and learning are gifts from God, and are to be used for His purposes.

There's no doubt in my mind that the Father is the source of all knowledge. Not only in the theological sense that He knows all, but in the practical sense that everything we think about had to have a source in someone else's mind. As babies our thoughts are formed and shaped by the environment and experiences of our parents or caretakers. We slowly come to a consciousness of our own conscious, but we never forget that it was formed and developed through contact with others. In the same way, our thoughts and ability to think was generated by the initial contact of the Creator, not by some leap of evolutionary biology. C.S. Lewis talks about this in the moral sense when he points out that without some source of the concept of "good", we would have no idea what constituted right behavior, except that which pleased us or made us feel a certain pleasurable way. But it is clear that even morally bankrupt people have some idea of a standard. No culture ever decided that being dishonest to your neighbor was a good thing, or that abandoning one's children is admirable. This standard wasn't simply developed in a vacuum, it was placed there by the Creator to remind us that we have a higher standard to reach to. As Romans states, "They are without excuse".

This impacts our family learning decisions in that I always consider how my educational choices impact my children's spiritual development. It may seem that only would affect science (creationism vs. evolution), but it has much wider impact. When choosing the language arts component, I noticed most traditional workbooks had a very liberal view of business - meaning, every time businesses were mentioned, the connotation was negative. That doesn't square with the scriptural principle that God grants us the wisdom to gain wealth. I didn't want my kids constantly reviewing a concept that was at its heart against the work ethic that Christians are to aspire to. Also, we have spent many days discussing how we should challenge ourselves to do better than the norm - even when we are ahead of our peers educationally. The question is not whether we are doing better than others, but whether we are learning and producing work "as unto the Lord" (Col 3:17). Since He is the one that gifted us with the ability to learn, isn't it His purpose and His approval that matters?

This is a very freeing concept in this day of testing and accountability. My daughter may not learn her time tables as fast as others, but in God's sight she is striving as mightly as Paul was 'toward the mark'. Marcus may be sometimes impatient with his ability to get every problem right, but in God's sight his mind is "fearfully and wonderfully made." It reminds me every day that it is not my approval either that counts. When God is the source and the standard of our learning, all of my efforts become secondary when viewed in light of the superior teaching ability of the Holy Spirit to guide them. When I remember to always trust His plans and His purposes in my children, I can rest in the fact that He that began the work will complete it. Whatever their eventual career choice, I will know that their education was designed to give God the freedom to take them anywhere He feels they will glorify Him the most.

When viewing family learning in this light, the final exam is not the test at the end of the book, nor even the SAT or the MCAT. It is the test from the parable of the talents, in which those that did the most with what the Master gave them heard the words, "Servant, well done." That is the statement that will determine whether I was successful in my homeschooling efforts, and of course, it is one that I pray and trust my children will aspire to and one day hear for themselves.

To be continued,

Looking unto the hills,
Homeschooldaddy

A couple of rhetorical questions...

2008-09-28T22:21:00.003-04:00

Nothing deep today. I just need to ask rhetorically for a couple of questions. There are several things in the proverbial frying pan right now, and I suppose airing it may bring suggestions from others or clarity from myself.

1) The economic mess. My rhetorical question is... what WERE we all thinking?

It's easy to blame Bush, blame Wall Street, blame anyone that has more than a 100K in the bank. But let's face it. Everyone in the world was ga-ga over the real estate market when it was booming. Interest rates were at 40 year lows. Home equity was as plentiful as air. And I can't remember anyone who was really riding through the streets like Paul Revere warning of an economic collaspe based on the greediness of both loaners and debtors.

The fact remains that the Bible warns us about credit in all its forms. There's not ONE instance that credit is mentioned in a positive light. We as a country are simply reaping the consequences God warned Israel about in Isaiah 24.

BEHOLD, THE LORD maketh the earth empty, and maketh it waste, and turneth it upside down, and scattereth abroad the inhabitants thereof. 2 And it shall be, as with the people, so with the priest; as with the servant, so with his master; as with the maid, so with her mistress; as with the buyer, so with the seller; as with the lender, so with the borrower; as with the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. 3 The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for THE LORD hath spoken this word. (KJV)

Sorry, no one is exempt. If you can't pay, you shouldn't buy.

This has provided a great opportunity for me to teach the kids that even banks and governments are subject to the same financial realities that our family faces every day. In a sense, the only salvation of our economy will be the individual family's ability to survive without relying on the institutions that we have allowed to have too much influence over us. Why should I worry about whether Lehman Brothers or AIG has enough assets to cover their own debts, if I have saved enough to cover my own needs? Yes, I know we rely on investments and the like in this system, but in principle, if we simply live on less than we make and save the rest, no one will find themselves in the turmoil of not being able to have the "mattress" fund available for emergencies. I'm preaching to myself as well - we had a emergency fund but it's been eaten up several times this year. My loathing of credit was broken down by the lure of quick fixes, of taking my wife with me on trips that I knew I couldn't afford but didn't want to be alone on.
But never has the result of my use of credit been positive. If anything can be learned from this mess, it should be that we can't ignore the pains of the future for the pleasures of today's purchases. That goes for McCain, Obama, Pelosi, and especially for the Pauls.

2) Fitting in...how do you do it? and should you?

My wife and I have decided we will refer to our social / racial status in cookie terms. Specifically, we are now considering ourselves "ginger snaps." You remember Ginger Snaps - the orange and white box with the hard cookies that had that 'bite' to it. You don't eat a Ginger Snap when you have a sweet tooth craving. It's not the coolness of an Oreo, or the comfort of a Nilla wafer. It shakes you up a bit, and doesn't easily fit into a cookie category.
In the same sense, Miki and I are not your common cookie cutter couple. We are equally at home with John Cage, John Mayer and John Legend. Our radio in the morning is set to "Steve Harvey", in the evening to "Glenn Beck". (I would mention Rush Limbaugh but I'm afraid of being castigated by my kids and wife, who don't like him) We're Kirk Franklin on Sunday morning and Chris Tomlin on Sunday night. We homeschool from 9 to 3 and then go to open houses at the high school from 7 to 9. We veer from noticing racist tendencies in 'white' society to decrying the subtle racism we see in our own African -American culture. At times we have felt the ire of those who noticed we did not automatically take up the "cause" of equal rights - that is, in the way that blacks have traditionally seen that fight since the 1960's. We choose to see equality as the right to be equally independent, rather to be unequivocally linked to a mass groupthink cultural monolith. Miki, with her racially mixed background of Hispanic and Carribean ancestry, is especially sensitive to the lack of connection with others that 'get her'. At the same time, we understand that much of what we have become is owed to the strong traditional African American culture that we interface with most often. We just feel like we don't quite match the smoothness and ease that others may have in our social landscape. So the 'snappiness' comes out. We are in the same aisle as the vanilla and the chocolate, but when you dig in, you get much more than a simple flavor. You get the edginess of someone who's looking for a way in, and a way out. Of those that acknowledge the obvious, but won't always accept it. Of people that are slowly realizing that to simply blend in is to deny the uniqueness that our experience and our emotion adds to our relationships. Ginger may have a bitter taste at the beginning, but at the end it has a soothing effect. We certainly have needed that balance in dealing with our various challenges, and I suppose we should be grateful we can be ourselves with each other, even while we decide whether our taste is compatible with a very chocolate or vanilla only world.

More later on our homeschool progress - suffice it to say I'm already feeling like I need to put the pedal to the metal, 'cause Marcus and Naomi are braking a little too much.

Looking unto the hills ,

homeschooldaddy

The Digital Connection

2008-09-25T06:51:00.005-04:00

I think it was today, when I received an audio chat invitation from my 11 year old, Marcus, from inside my house, that I realized it had happened. We have officially become totally wired.

Each member of the family now has their own laptop. Miki and I have become Twitter, Facebook and My Space addicts (with My Space now a distant third for me - just too much stuff to keep up with.) I've been going through PDA withdrawal now for three days since my iPod touch went missing. Marcus does Virtual School through the web. Naomi turns in assignments to me through Home-school-inc.com, and messages me even when she's only 10 steps away. Christopher rarely detaches his Blackjack from his fingers for fear losing contact with the phone will signal an early social demise.

Not that I will start pining for the days of tin cans and string being the most advanced communication system available. It would be hypocritical in the least for me to blame my kids for being enthralled by their gadgets when their father practically lives on them. It is simply striking how naturally the digital lifestyle fits them, when some of this technology - Google Maps, audio and video chatting, GPS, etc. - barely existed when they were born.

One topic I am sincerely interested in studying with the kids is how all this technology works. I mean, really - how does my voice show up in a little device a thousand miles away, instantaneously? What kind of electromagnetic energy allows for transmissions from a satellite to my TV dish? And, probably most important, how many people still understand the underpinnings of our digital infrastructure? Is there a self-sustaining brain trust of the finest scientists teaching the next generation of collegiate technocrats? Or, like our economic meltdown, is it simply a house of cards constructed by behemoth companies that no longer understand the depth or complexity of the systems they constructed to support all these technologies? And can we, as consumers of the digital world, continue to be ignorant of how much these systems run our daily lives?

All this puzzles me as I twitter, blog, Skype, and text my way into that same technology driven connection between my closest friends and my most interesting strangers. The connections that this digital lifestyle creates also gives me pause. When did our lives become so fragmented that the only way we feel connected is by placing our thoughts, one moment at a time, on this tapestry of consciousnesses known as Twitter? I've quickly become very interested in seeing people's entries ("Tweets" for the uninitiated), as they give me a glimpse into how other people get through the day. Perhaps it's because each of us feel like no one else really sees us, anymore. The effort to say, "my thoughts, my feelings matter" has been the single driving force behind the advance of the social media tech boom. When people feel disenfranchised from government, or family, or country in a tangible sense, who else is there to turn to but the blogger across the country that is willing to read your complaints and compliments, that seems to have more in common with you than the neighbor that's been across the street for years, but still doesn't know your name?

By no means do I mean to imply that bloggers or Twitterers have no physical or social connections outside of the web. Far from it. I do think it is indicative of our current state that we now feel more connected with who are with us ideologically than who are around us physically. Both my wife and I have been struck by the feeling that many times those around us are simply acquaintances, but not really friends. The hardest part is determining whether it is the fear of rejection by our peers that drives us to connect to our web connections - because they choose to come to us, and it's instant validation. There's no pain of getting to know you, of sharing my intimate feelings before acceptance. There's a click, and a reading of a 120 character bio, some common tag words, and we're linked. Linked in a way that is both entrancing and, perhaps, unrealistic. But only time will tell if our new Internet personalities end up enhancing or diminishing our ability to connect eye to eye, face to face, voice to voice, instead of Voice to Voice Over Internet Protocol.

I must go now though. My cell phone needs charging, my online planner is in need of updating, and online bills must be paid. Maybe I'll unplug one of these weekends and show I'm able to give up all the wiredness, quit cold turkey. Surely I'm not addicted to the point that I can't do a non-digital day. You'll see.

Well, after I buy a new iPod Touch, that is.

Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

A Perfectionist Perspective

2008-09-21T22:33:00.004-04:00

How easy life would be if we could truthfully believe what we want to believe about ourselves.

I would love to believe that I'm never motivated by selfish concerns. Would be enthralled by a sense of purpose and clarity in all my actions, coming from a heart of gold and a spiritual mindset.

If only.

Truth is, it's dreadfully easy to fool yourself. P.T. Barnum said "There's a sucker born every minute", but he could have been referring to each of us as suckers for self-deception. When you think you're free of pride, or of making decisions to boost your own self worth rather than others, that's when reality steps in and shows you that you're prone to the same issues that the preening pop star or the pompous politician wrestle with. Not only that, it's tiring sometimes to keep evaluating yourself. Paul implied in Corinthians that he did not even judge himself, and perhaps that's why he had so much energy and focus on God - because judging yourself is a time and emotion consuming enterprise.

So to put practical meat on this metaphysical bone of an introduction, I'm again dealing with a situation where I felt my desires weren't met. (Yes, it's a church thing, as usual) Our services today were at a high school auditorium. Now, as I should, I'll list the successes of the morning: 1300 in attendance, numerous re-dedications and conversions to Christ, a beautiful display of dance, mime, and musical worship, and a dynamic Word from our Pastor. And what did I come away with?

Yep, perfectionist that I am, the negatives overshadowed it. As someone who does programs every week, I should expect the unexpected. But still, when the sound wasn't working, when the offering was shifted without my knowledge, when the song didn't last long enough for offering and we had to pull out an unrehearsed number, and especially when my family ended up walking (Walking!) from the auditorium because I had to break down the equipment and take it back at the church (no room for family in the SUV when it's full of drums and keyboards), well, I didn't feel very spiritual afterward.

So am I selfish?

Where does the line between disappointment and ungratefulness fall? The book I'm currently reading, "The Heart of the Artist", says perfectionist thinking leads to an all good or all bad type of analysis. Either we're on the mountaintop or in the valley. Emotionally, I think Jeremiah and Elijah, maybe even Jonah were like that in God's service. When things went well, they were high on God's truth and His victories. When things went south, they pleaded for release. I, too, have looked for release from trials that to others may seem trivial, but in the heart of the artist they get magnified a hundred times. We wear our hearts on our sleeves through our performance, and all too often they get knocked to the ground, and we can't distinguish whether we were in the right place or time to be offering up service for the pain of unrealized hopes or expectations.

If I had an answer for that type of feeling, a way of acknowledging desire for excellence without missing the point of selfless service, I'd probably have no need to write this entry, because I would have dealt with the problem and gone on about my business. But the struggle is part of the filtering process which allows me to see just where I am in this business of being authentic with myself and with others. Whether things go right is not as important as whether I go right - that is, move in the right direction.

As for family (the real priority), peaks and valleys also dominate the landscape. Peaks include the success of our first few lessons with Learning Language Arts through Literature. Both Marcus and Naomi like their books, and I feel better knowing we'll have a systematic schedule of dealing with grammar and handwriting (Marcus still sees no value in cursive, but I'm about to start requiring it. No other motivation seems to stick.) Our enrichment classes continue to be the highlight of their week. Marcus is developing delivery strategies for his already prodigious public speaking talents, and Naomi has become the stalwart practice queen of baton twirling.
Valleys, well, that would rest on my dear oldest son, who has not started off so well in his all-important junior year. At least he admitted his struggles in Pre-Calc, but transparency doesn't make the grades come up. Considering that he also has issues remembering homework and delivering assignments on time, I'm once again evaluating whether to continue this 'sink or swim' attitude toward his schooling. Knowing he'll be on his own in college and that he'll have to be self motivated and self correcting is one thing - having him fail to make the grades that will get him into the college in the first place is another. Again, not that I didn't expect the valleys, but they just don't seem to get any easier. So I'll sit down with him and really look at what's going on, make the tutor appointments, try to get him to take ownership while not letting him slip through the crack of the "everything's OK" cop-out defense. We'll have to see whether intervention brings results as well as a change in his approach - which I guess is still ultimately up to him. The perfectionist 'keep everything under control' method loses again, which means the 'walk by faith' method will have to kick in. And the journey continues.

After all that, just a little trip to Applebees can seem like an oasis of rest in a desert of bills, grades, and ministry hangups. And we did laugh there at Marcus' charming of the waitress, Naomi's deadpan delivery, and Christopher's quirky perceptions. Miki and I smile at each other more and more when we see them in action, because we simply can't figure out how either of us could have anything to do with how unique our childrens' perspectives are. It's no longer, "She gets that from you," or, "You're just like your..." They are individuals, and now we have to simply love and guide them into being who God wants them to be, not what we expected them to be. I can't say I know what's in store for them, but I know He'll be there with us as the ultimate Parent, and that's enough comfort for us to continue.

Looking unto the hills,

Homeschooldaddy

The Perils of Caring

2008-09-10T21:27:00.002-04:00

In one of the Star Trek movies (the Next Generation, not the classic Kirk ones), Lt. Commander Data, the super smart android, gets an emotion chip that allows him to feel. He is almost overwhelmed by the flood of emotional content, from sadness to extreme giddiness, and laments how emotions can be so fulfilling and yet so destructive and debilitating. I have to concur. I sometimes wish I could take the emotional content of my brain, place it in a bottle, and label it as "contents under pressure", where I would shake it up and release it only when there was a safe perimeter where no one, including myself, would be hurt. Unfortunately, they remain within the fragile and all too easily breached container of my own being.

In short, I wish I didn't get hurt so easily, by rejection, failure, or the misery and rejection of others. It makes for a poor leader that can't handle watching his followers take a necessary hit of humble pie, even when they need it. It also makes a less than appealing husband, when it's necessary for one of us, namely me, to maintain a sense of optimism when my better half is feeling the worse. And as a father, I'm probably guilty of not showing my kids how to handle adversity without looking like adversity is handling me. There is a thin line between true grit and determination and false hope, but I know I've been too visibly down around the kids, and they know when things aren't right. Shutting off the dissapointments of life isn't healthy, but neither is the wallowing, and I've lost the balance lately.

Not that I can complain - the roof hasn't caved in yet (although these storms keep us on our toes - we can't call a roofer because the next storm is always two days away), the kids finally have their curriculum for the year, and the car has held up for three months longer than I thought it would. But relationship wise, I'm coming to realize that my desire for real friends and strong interdependant relationships has been unmet, because I have no safe area to vent. When I hear things like the craziness surrounding the elections, instead of thinking "Tsk, tsk", and going about my business, I instead feel like throwing the TV through the wall. I nearly cried when I heard our school superindentent was bought out over dumb personality conflicts and not over his actual job performance. Injustice and conflict seem to be daggers pointed directly at my heart, and I just wonder if there is a place where I could hole up and let someone else care.

I suppose there are things I could do. I could throw myself more into helping others, as I taught at Bible Study on Tuesday - find others lower than myself and help them up. I could spend more time with the kids and really get into their loves and desires, and keep myself from spending too much time worrying about my molehills masquerading as mountains. I could simply be more tough skinned, give myself a 1 Timothy pep talk about power, love and sound mind replacing the spirit of fear.

Or, I can admit that God made me tenderhearted. Admit that I may be wired to be sensitive to the cares of others, and accept the joys and pains of empathy. And when the darts of life pierce through the membrane of my emotional bubble, I can shuffle to my Father, holding it up like a child shows a mother his skinned knee, asking for a kiss of healing. The Father asks, "Show me where it hurts." I point to my heart, and wait for the feeling of being care for to wash over the pain and soothe the hurt over with a salve of security. No cream, Band-Aid, or antiseptic can do what that one kiss of comfort does - remind me that Someone cares more than I ever could.

Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

Thanks Familyman...

2008-08-31T20:08:00.001-04:00

No better way for me to say this, so here's the entire Familyman e-newsletter for this week.
Thanks Todd for making me feel a little better as I fight the urge to avoid the kids this weekend...(I'm being honest...)

Hey Dad,
Sorry for getting this to you so late this week. I’ve been behind the ball, and the fruit flies are back. I’m telling you, these little goomers appear out of nowhere. You leave half a banana on the counter, and the next thing you know, boom! You have an infestation. Well, I didn’t mean to burden you with my hardships, but I do want to wish you a happy Labor Day and to tell you to make it a good’un.
Labor Day is a bittersweet weekend, signaling the end of summer and the beginning of school and routine. Not that that’s all bad, but it still feels kind of sad to me. But thankfully we have a holiday to ease our pain.
In fact, today we’re heading over to my in-law’s lake cottage for a couple of days of last summer fun. We’ll swim in the noticeably colder water, eat watermelon, and sit on the porch talking while the kids play in the notably colder water. All the while, I’ll be thinking about how the summer is over, fall is right around the corner, and that I’ve got an infestation of fruit flies in my home.
I’ve also been thinking about the somewhat-annual backyard camping trip that needs to happen in the next couple of weekends before the nights turn really cold. I’m not sure we’ve pitched the tent in our yard in the last two years, but I know it’s time to get it out. The kids love it. They love the smell of the tent, the warmth of the fire, and the frigid cold in the morning.
I don’t love it---but I love them and what happens when we camp in the backyard. If you want the painfully honest truth, I don’t really love most of what my kids love doing. I don’t love playing kickball, going on bike rides, hosting the Wilson Olympics, or having pillow fights in the familyroom.
BUT---I do love my children and they LOVE doing all that stuff---with ME.
So, Dad, make this Labor Day a good’un. Play hard, camp in the backyard, take a canoe trip down a creek, go for a long-promised bike ride, go to the mall to do some serious back-to-school clothes shopping, or whatever else it is that your children would love to do with you.
Yeah, I know you don’t love doing those things---but I know you do love them.

You ‘da dad,
Todd

Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

Time's Up

2008-08-27T07:34:00.002-04:00

A rare morning post.

I know I just wrote that 5 AM was too early to be getting up to work out, but I immediately realized after writing that most of the time I'd be up by 6 anyway, so it was a bit disingenuous. This morning I awoke, tried to go to the family room where I have my devotional time, and found it buried in papers and things to file. So in order to put God first, I had to clean up the area where I meet Him. I think there's a lesson in that somewhere.

As for homeschooling, I've come to the conclusion that I have to get on the ball concerning the kids' academic choices this year. We've kind of done it backwards in that they've already chosen extra curricular activities - Marcus is taking Public Speaking, Guitar, Ceramics, and Sports at our Friday classes at Riverside, while Naomi opted for 'Miami CSI' (forensics), Baton Twirling and Cake Decorating - but I'm still undecided on our core curricula. Language Arts still seems to be Naomi's Achilles' heel. I've taken a close look at Sonlight and Four in a Row, but I'm not convinced there's enough of the intergration between literature and critical thinking that I'd like to see. My approach has always been to avoid the mundane workbook style questions you see in so many texts. In the last workbook I bought for her, I found sentences that seemed to come right out of a UN manifesto, like"The four countries agreed to make a treaty to reduce pollution" (reference to Kyoto). Meanwhile, not one sentence referred to a business or to someone working in the private sector.

Since public school is now in session, the pressure begins to keep up, even as I try to maintain our own pace and direction. I'm glad to say that my wife fills in the gap while I rummage through the decision making process. She finds review work through ABCTeach.com and other sites that keeps them busy for the first two weeks. The tricky thing about unit studies is not running into points where you cover subjects but not skills, so my effort will be to combine the two as well as possible. I'll be sure to post after I finish my research and make a decision - I'd love some comments or suggestions from anyone who's in the same boat I am.

Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

Scattershot Thoughts...

2008-08-26T02:08:00.002-04:00

Just feel like letting off some steam...

Let me say it so that I can take the criticism now. I don't care how engaging Obama is. Charisma doesn't make you a leader. It makes you easier to follow. There's a difference.
It's no longer 15 minutes of fame that is the claim of every person, as Andy Warhol said. It's the 15 seconds every person will devote to perfect strangers that have a web page, Twitter account or Facebook. Add those 15 seconds together, and everyone is famous for about 3 days.
Yes, I want to work out and be fit. No, I don't want to get up at 5 AM to do it.
Did you know the inventor of 'Pringles' Vacuum Can was cremated and buried in one?
I'm at a weird place in my life. I watch 'Family Guy' and 'American Masters' with equal fervor.
Why be sad about the end of the Olympics? I can watch "Ninja Warrior" for weeks and see more of the "Thrill of Victory, and the Agony of Defeat".
Besides, does anybody know what happened to that skier that flew off the ski jump in the opening sequence of Wide World of Sports? Did he ever get any royalties? How did it feel to have millions of people equate your worst moment as the visual definition of defeat?
It is the hardest thing to have a conversation with someone and not accidentally talk over each other, so one has to say, "No, you go ahead." It's like we need conversational traffic signals. Red light, you talk. Green light, I talk. Or maybe a conversation referee.
Great idea Washington, that whole making corn into gas ethanol thing. Never thought instead of holding back on gas, I should hold back on Corn Flakes to decrease demand.
I heard how Madonna compared John McCain to Hitler. How is it that stars can make a living insulting the pants off of people, and then sue someone for libel because someone reported something they didn't like in US Weekly?
It's amazing that after 10 years, I still haven't determined the fastest way to drive to work. It's like the never ending experiment. In ten years Einstein had e=mc2, but I can't tell if the Turnpike or US1 or Marlin is the fastest way to 152nd.
Don't forget to vote today here in Miami. The issues on the ballot (Children's Trust, State Rep., etc.) are way more pertinent to our daily lives than the guy in the house on Pennsylvania Ave.

Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

More Atlanta Pics....Courtesy of Naomi's Photography, Inc.

2008-08-23T02:49:00.004-04:00

Welcome Here Park... a fitting name for a family reunion picnic.

Partners in crime - Naomi, Brianna (cousin), Marcus at downtown diner

Georgia Dome - or is it geodeisic?

World of Coca - Cola - we waited 1 hour and paid $100 to be advertised to. America is amazing.

The Paul Men - Justin, Me, Dad

Marcus, Aunt Lillie, Chris (trying to dodge being photographed)

Marcus and Miki (rock that orange, girl!)

My mom, "Dear", always smiling...right?

Abigail, my niece (doesn't she look like there should be a patch over on eye and a parrot on her shoulder?)

Aunt Lillie, beauty and sound mind

The photographer's self portrait at the family picnic. Good job, Naomi.

Looking unto the Hills,

homeschoooldaddy

Days of our School Lives...

2008-08-22T02:29:00.003-04:00

Thank God for Public School. Yes, I said it.

As much as I denigrate public schooling at times for the burgeoning, bloated bueracracy that it is, I must admit no one was happier than me to see the first day of school come for my oldest, now a junior in high school. Tropical Storm Fay came along and gave all of Miami what we want most out of a storm - days off with no rain, wind, or roofs caving in. Well, maybe just a little wind and rain, and only the kids got the days off. So while Mom and Dad covered computers at work with trash bags, the kids watched more TV and stuffed themselves with more microwave pizza.

Needless to say, I was extremely conflicted. I was content to let Marcus and Naomi rest Monday and Tuesday and celebrate the fact that they weren't bound by the tyrannical school schedule. But when there was no school schedule to base our celebration around, and no standard times for me to measure our work against - I usually try to have the kids assignments done in time for after school tutoring, which was cancelled - I was hit with the realization that the school schedule does provide a basis in which I as a homeschooler have a structure set up for me. Even our summer vacations are simply an extension of the normal public school vacations, and most of the time I simply use the school calendar holidays as holidays for my kids as well. It just makes it easier to track when I don't have two calendars to keep up with.

So am I a hypocrite? No, probably just lazy. I know if I had more administrative skill I could have my own highly personalized schedule for our family learning. But it makes more sense for our blended educational family to use the standard timelines of the school, so we always have continuity in our day to day planning. I don't know if this works for others, but it works for us.

As for this year, I'm not yet settled on Naomi's language arts program. I'm somewhere between adopting a total curriculum and simply buying a subject area concentration from Alpha Omega or Sonlight. The beginning of school yesterday seemed to underscore the need for me to hurry up and choose, but the sight of Naomi doing her own practice through internet games was enough to comfort me that that tyrannical schedule doesn't have to take away our ability to move at our own pace.

Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

Me and the kids at FPEA, Orlando, Fl

2008-08-08T18:23:00.001-04:00

trying out my Shozu Account!

The Joy of Reconnection

2008-08-04T21:57:00.002-04:00

It's hard to return, but harder to stay away.

So much has transpired in the last few weeks, so it's best that I start with what's fresh, which is our family reunion experience in Atlanta. Just a weekend with 300 of my closest friends. I must admit I was a bit apprehensive as the trip neared at the beginning of August. After all, I remember very few of my relatives, and my last family reunion trip was more a blur than a memorable event. So, Miki, Christopher and I packed up and headed to Atlanta (which was a feat in itself considering our car's radiator died hours before leaving, forcing us into a rental van), and rehearsed the phrases we felt would protect us...
"I'm Laverna Johnson's first grandson..."
"I'm Reita's daughter in law...
"We're on the Williams side"...

Anything to remind our relatives that we really belonged.

Upon arrival, our first sight was the giddy faces of Marcus and Naomi, freshly spoiled by my parents - the new video game hasn't arrived yet, but I'm sure the kids will remind them to ship it - and hugs all around for my parents, my sister and niece, and my aunts that had arrived. We then found ourselves in the hotel ballroom with about 100 of the first arrivals, where we met up with the family choir and my cousin Marilyn, who was directing traffic for me music wise. Of course I had to play - it was my ticket into good graces with the family for missing so many reunions. (Just kidding.)

I could talk more about the goings on - the picnic, the dance where my parents and (gasp) my wife and I danced while grandkids and kids gawked and gagged at the sight of romantic adults (how do they think they got here?), the bickering of the family business meeting, or other memories. But most of all I was filled with a sense of belonging, of once again knowing I have roots in something larger, bigger, and more expansive than my little life here in Miami.

Confession.

These posts became scarce as I began considering big changes in our family life and lifestyle, and I began to fear writing. Mostly because this became a safe place to air my feelings and frustrations, I was terrified that when thinking of change and opening myself to the possibilities publicly on paper, I would lose that sense of honesty in trying to protect my readers (and myself) from the sense of uncertainty that such a reflection would bring. But with a few sermons and a reflection period, I realize that without such a opening to new horizons, there could be no real benefit in being reconnected. How could I have such a strong foundation, a family stretching 6 generations, and not at least give the next generation an example of fortitude in the face of change and challenge? My ancestors do not loom large as intimidators, but as
examples of how far life can take you even when you don't realize it at the time.
Knowing I'm at one of those points - where my present is as tenuous and tender as my future - gives me even more reason to hang on to the foundations of my past. To know that my city of residence, my career, or my current calling don't change what made me what I am now, and changing any of those first conditions will not change the root of who I will be. It is all based on the connections already made in my faith and my family that ensure that my success will be permanent even if my circumstances change.

I'll have much more info on the reunion, not that I got the heavy stuff out. I'll attach pictures soon.

Looking unto the hills,

homeschoooldaddy

Thoughts on the 4th.....

2008-07-06T23:31:00.004-04:00

Well, it's been a while since I've checked in, and summer has rolled on in some expected ways, and transformed in some unexpected ways.

Since I've written, the younger 2 kids went off to Pensacola to spend summer with the grandparents (my parents), which turned our normally boisterous household of 3 children into a one-teenager family overnight. Raising a 16 year old is tricky enough, but without his brother and sister to drive him crazy (as he sees it), my wife and I have found new ways to interact with him. He's more engaging, perhaps because there's no pressure to stay within the confines of the older brother role. Of course, it may also be the fact that he's now 16 and realizing it. I'm sure that if he was confident in his driving and had found a job, he would try renting out an apartment, 'cause that's basically what his room has become. We see him every few hours, coming out from the screen heaven of TV and laptop. In fairness, he's been as helpful as ever, assisting us as Miki and I have pretended to move out ourselves in repainting all our furniture. We've reverted to college life, living out of Rubbermaid rolling dressers and camping out with mattresses on the floor.

For the 4th of July, we took a trip up to West Palm to visit Miki's mom. For a mover and shaker such as myself, the free time is both blessing and burden. Blessing in that we had time away from the bustle of ministry, but burden in learning to enjoy that time. It seems my biggest struggle is learning to relax, which of course means my wife can't relax either. She is always trying to make me comfortable, and I feel guilty for that as well. It's tough to let go of the super - plan mode that our daily life requires.

As for the night of franks and fireworks, it did seem a little disappointing. Without a big family gathering, we improvised our way to the display in downtown West Palm Beach. We didn't count on traffic though, so we ended up watching from the top of a parking garage behind another building that kind of blocked our view. The bangs and booms did bring the requisite oohs and aahs, and I couldn't help thinking of how Americans are continuously defined by what is bigger, louder, or showier. Even in this time of readjusting attitudes on our economy (how many Hummers have been sold lately?), we still want the newest and best auto, the biggest flat screen, and we find great joy in firing thousands of pounds of colored gunpowder into the air in order to say, "Look at us, we're the greatest country on earth!" How ironic is it that our national celebration is capped off with a Chinese invention?

Forgive the sarcasm, but it is my feeling that more of our self - image must be based on our internal meaning, not on our external traditions or fall-back illusions of grandeur. A new President does not define us; neither a political party, nor a cause or a case for some law or judgment. What defines this country is the definition of an individual -

"having a striking or unusual character; original".

Our country is based on the dichotomy of individuals that affirm each other's individuality, while declaring their united understanding of the same as the essential right and responsibility of each to uphold and maintain. And whether you equate the ideals that spawned such a sentiment with the Magna Carta, the deistic leanings of Founding Fathers, or the direct influence of God, no one can replace them with any slogan or flag pin. The true celebration of our independence is in the everyday exercise of "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Love is what love does, and patriotism is what patriotism does. It sacrifices self for others, family, faith, and country. It realizes the country is better when I am better, not when others make it better. It refuses to place its future in other hands, but takes up the mantle and works until its future is squarely in his. Mostly, it realizes that one's citizenship is a gift, a blessing, and that in another reality we all could have been born into a worse situation, or not been able to escape one by emigrating to this country. Therefore, it constantly lives to repay the gift by being a blessing back to the land that gives it sanctuary and substance.

Happy birthday, USA.

Looking unto the hills,

HomeSchoolDaddy

Summer has struck....

2008-06-11T19:41:00.007-04:00

My great run of posts, like a blogging Ty Cobb or non-gambling Pete Rose, was broken by the onslaught of summer. It has taken a out-of-town doctor visit with Grandma to slow me down enough to take stock of the first two weeks of summer.

A few items to update -

Paul vs. Anti-Homeschool at Church, Inc. - I'm afraid this case has turned against my best hopes, although I've moderated my outrage a bit. After talking with our new HR director, it has become apparent that it was not Marcus and Naomi alone that were causing the fervor over children on campus. Several other employees of the church have had children on campus, and let's just say not all of them are teacher's pets. It seems that my kids are victims of the 'if not all, then none' rule of fairness. In other words, even though my kids are well behaved and welcome on campus, I have to abide by the rules set for all employees.

Now for my real, unreasoned feelings.

Now I, the well-intentioned, hard working, doing the best for his kids father, am forced to find child care so that my kids won't have to stay in church.

Let that sink in.

Imagine Samuel, instead of being raised in the temple, being sent to Happy Hebrews Kinder -Kare.

David, instead of playing harp for the king, playing a beat up french horn in the middle school orchestra.

Jesus, at 12 years old, turning to his parents after teaching the elders in the temple, and saying, "You found Me! Thank G0d, (I mean thank me), now I can get back to the
Boys Club?"

My point remains that my productivity did not decrease while my kids were on campus, and their lives were richer and more connected to people of faith. I can't see the negatives anywhere. But as a team player, I know it's more important at this point to maintain our fragile workplace community than to raise sand over the ignorant comments made about homeschooling. Yes, it will cost more to have someone watch them during Mondays and Tuesdays, but my goal will continue to be to reach a point where I will not have to choose between work and family, but that the two become synonymous and synchronous.

- Curriculum vs. unschooling - not exactly a true summary, but we are closer to putting Naomi in either a virtual academy or another type of structured curriculum. We aren't worried about her development, but it's clear of the two, Marcus is the self starter. We've convinced him to keep up the Virtual class in science, and we did his first lab while at Grandma's in West Palm. Not fun having red food coloring all over us (and not on the onion that was supposed to reveal plant cells), but he was willing to keep working, so it's worth the effort. Both of them are also excited about Power - glide, the language program that Miki was raving about. The next two months gives us time to review the options while Marcus and Naomi gallivant about Pensacola.

- Chris vs. Brokeness - Ah, the teenage years, where the biggest crisis is whether my girlfriend calls and whether I can avoid looking like a dufus in front of my friends. Well, my oldest is with us farther into the summer than usual, which means Miki and I have uttered the time honored words that will stay with my son for years to come....

Get. A. Job.

Mind you, Christopher likes the concept of money, but he has not yet connected to the fact that ours is not his. Neither does he understand that once his is gone, there is no more unless you have a ..... what is that thing called?..... an income. In-come - money comes in! Wow! Not out - go, as in out of our pockets. So we sent him on the trail for applications in a dress shirt, slacks, and the fresh faced haircut that says, "I'm an industrious, willing individual! Of course you'd hire me!" To which fresh faced young man each manager smiled and gave Chris a website address where he could apply.

What?

No face to face interview? Not even a paper application for sweat and tears to drip upon as you try to remember your first grade teacher's phone number for that for - sure recommendation? (Ms. Ward always said I was her favorite...) Has the internet stolen every opportunity for face-to-face humiliation? 'Fraid so. It seems that even in the world of teen employment, lawn jobs and paper routes have been replaced by questionnaires asking my son if he sometimes disobeys for fun. I mean, really. What self respecting applicant is going to click the "I'm always a pain in the you know what" box?

Anyway, there will surely be more interesting info to come out of this summer - hope I survive the first month.

Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

Some More Resources

2008-06-02T21:30:00.003-04:00

The day after my birthday reminds me quickly why there are no special names for the 30's. Everything as usual, back to work, hit the road running. I did feel pretty productive, and Marcus and Naomi made me feel good by continuing on their math and science lessons without being asked. Marcus is still reticent about continuing his Virtual School lessons throughout the summer, but he's realizing it makes no sense to start over just to maintain his image of a work-free summer. Naomi is pushing to finish her Math-u-See Delta (Division) for much of the same reason I pushed through Calculus in high school - because she wants nothing to do with it next year.

Some thoughts on other resources I'd discovered recently - these are not reviews because I haven't used the product, but if you're interested you might drop a line and tell me if you like the concept.

Dadlabs.com:
Not exactly the style I would use for my site - these guys like their beer - but I really like the content, varied information, and the overall relaxed attitude these guys take toward fathering. Includes video and audio podcasts, reviews, a dads forum, and several links for additional resources. Very cool.

Familyman.com -
A site I found at FPEA. This dad is an author, presenter, and another fighter of the good fight of fathers. I really like his e-mail newsletter - gives me encouragement on tough days. Check him out in my resources section.

Sorry it took longer to get this one out, you'll see why later...

Unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

34% done...Birthdays, Black Men and Boxing....

2008-06-01T02:26:00.005-04:00

Yes, it's my birthday, and yes, I'm celebrating the way any fun-loving, still actively social middle age man would - by eating Kettle Cooked potato chips, drinking Kool-Aid and watching "The Fugitive" at 2:30 in the morning.

Life is good.

34% implies that I plan to live to 100 - which I think is a pretty good goal, and not a morbid one, since most don't make it to that milestone in health. I know I'm supposed to be nearing 40, which is the new 30, or something like that, and having some trepidation. I feel none of that. Just glad to have made it one year longer than Jesus did in His earthly time. Some may have wanted to crucify me before now and failed....and being a survivor is reward and gift enough.

Moving on, I just watched the debut of the mixed martial arts genre of fighting on CBS. For those not aware, Kimbo Slice is a homeless street fighter - turned - internet sensation, who now is considered the second coming of Mike Tyson. He is a hulk of a man, with a long bushy Middle Eastern type beard, a surprisingly soft spoken manner, but eyes and countenance of a caged animal when fighting. He barely beat the fellow he fought, a British man with more true fighting experience who used wrestling moves to tire out the older, brawling mauler from the streets of Miami. I was entranced and disgusted all at once. Yes, my son and I admired the fighting moves, the quick knockouts where the eyes of the opponent roll back and the knees turn to wet noodle. Of course, men of all times have been fighters - this is not a paean to non-violence or an attempt to de-cry the efforts of a man to use his one skill to escape poverty or to gain fame and notoriety. I've always admired Joe Louis, Ali, Sugar Ray Robinson, Roy Jones, Jr., and other great pugilists.

What I found disturbing was the image of a black man as beast, the way the camera almost "king konged" his chest and face, the screaming of fans praying for the big black man to beat down the big white man for their entertainment. I know we surely have progressed from the days of the Great White Hope and the image of a Joe Johnson as a threat to decent society back in the early days of boxing. But something is still ingrained in our culture when it comes to African Americans and our violent outbursts. Would Kimbo Slice be celebrated if he hadn't had the poverty stricken streets of Overtown to fall into fighting for money? I mean, take this fight from the TV and lights of Vegas to the school yard, and you have the Jena 6 or the LA riots on your hands. And isn't the world that tolerates the conditions of gang violence and glorification of "thug life" simply patting itself on the back when a Kimbo emerges as a "great story"? I mean, why does the commentator of the fight need to remind us that Mr. Slice had to find anywhere he could to relieve himself while he was homeless? Is that really necessary, or does it reinforce the point that we can't fathom that millions of people both in the US and else where live that transient life everyday?

Perhaps again, one example does not a movement make. But I hope Mr. Slice one day goes back to Overtown with his six figure boxing prizes, take off his gloves, and teaches a young black man to beat up the system that nearly claimed his own life - to become a champion over more than physical opponents, but over the mentality of "biggest boss", "flossing", and "stacks of cheddar". To be able to overcome the stereotype that makes you successful is true independent success.

Time to sleep my three hours before my official birthday - and I must take a minute to thank my parents for not giving up either three hours before my birth, or the 34 years hence. Hopefully I've not been a disappointment. :-) Thanks to all that have made my life so rich through their interaction with me. If I named you all, I would have to change the blog's name to "Long List Daddy". Much love to all of you nonetheless.

Looking unto the Hills,

homeschooldaddy

50 Posts!

2008-05-29T23:02:00.003-04:00

Wow... Never thought I'd make that kind of milestone. I know for some of you in the blogosphere, 50 posts is a pretty boring month of writing, but it took me two years. You also might notice that about 20% of those posts happened in the last two months. So it only took me 22 months to get the hang of this blogging thing. If I was a NFL quarterback, I would be hitting my stride in my second season, so watch out, to whomever the Brett Farve of blogging is.

Some random thoughts...

1) Father says to child: Can't we get this house to look somewhat decent?

2) Child goes to work on kitchen.

3) Five minutes later, child looks around at half done dishes, a couple of dust piles on the floor and a couple of leftover tupperware containers put away, smiles, and says proudly - "There! Somewhat Decent!"

This would be funny if it didn't actually happen today with Marcus. All I can say is that kids will absolutely perform to expectations - whatever they may be.

- More on the church / homeschooling controversy - I've learned that one of the members concerned thought that my homeschooling on campus was illegal. ILLEGAL. As in, go to jail, you're abusing those kids! You, with your witchcraft virtual classes and your unholy decision to keep your child from wooden desks! Where's the stocks from Salem when you need them? Off with their heads!

Sorry, got carried away - but doesn't that fit the image of someone who is deathly afraid of individual control? I mean, if they tolerate the wholesale indoctrination of a generation into accepting faithless governance, homosexuality as normal, and life as a victim to be admired, wouldn't those same people be intimidated and afraid of those that refuse to be part of the madness? I think so. But I now realize how little they must know of both the legal and practical aspects of homeschooling - and I see a teachable moment on the horizon.

- One such teachable moment - At CVS this morning buying vitamins and epsom salt (Marcus' joint pain seems to be getting worse - Either he's about to sprout 2 inches or he's aging by decades rather than years) we ran into two other kids from our support group. So four homeschool kids are standing at the counter, and the clerk asks the question you know is coming every time -

"You guys out of school?"

Their unanimous answer, in chorus - "We homeschool."

The next 10 minutes, I gave the gentleman a rundown through all the common myths and realities of homeschooling - including socialization ("Do YOU work with adults all the same age?"), testing, subject matter and public school comparisons. I don't know whether he has a better sense of what we do now, but my daughter does. Upon getting in the car after checking out, she said that she agreed with my summary of why socialization in schools is not based in real life experiences. "Because we get to talk to people no matter what their age is," she said. Then she went home and worked on her math lesson - without being asked. Miracles never cease, and motivation is sometimes not direct, but in moments where one realizes what you already have, and that you can make the best of it.

Blessings, and peace to all through Him. Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

Convention - post mortem

2008-05-27T05:16:00.004-04:00

OK, it's Tuesday morning, and I should be planning out my day, and completing my devotion - got some great message ideas this morning - but this blog has quickly become my internal sounding board and I want to finish ruminating over this weekend.

A couple of things I didn't quite get to...

1) It's clear that homeschooling dads are present and active in this movement. I saw fathers everywhere - at least a 30 to 70 dad to mom ratio, which if you consider the fact that probably all of them (the dads) were full - time workers, is pretty darn good. I know the stereotype is still of the stay at home mom teaching the kids, while Dad swoops in to "rescue" the kids from the boredom of day to day curricula, but obviously dads like Charles and I see this as more than 'mom's world.' We are intensely concerned about our kids, which brings me to my next point....

2) Dads as primary home school teachers is a secret, small, but growing need that may hold the key to the true growth of family learning becoming an unstoppable force in society. Why do I make such a bold statement?

Because if it is true, even in 2008, that men continue to hold the majority of powerful and influential decision positions in government, church and institutions, then I can think of no greater testament to the power of home schooling than the sight of full time working men LEAVING their professions to be full time teachers at home.

Chris and Naomi at Joe's Crab Shack

Think about it. The 60's and 70's were the so-called liberation years for women to escape the home. We were (and are still) bombarded with the message that women should put their careers first. 20 years later, now the movement is in the 'you can have it all' phase where pre-K is government run and women's groups are promoting any thing and everything that DOESN'T involve the equal partnership of marriage and family. Moms are debating their choices to give up careers to have children late in life, only to find the society either punishes them for leaving work, or chastises them for staying at home. It's literally a no - man's land.

So where does that leave the men? Are we simply enablers, designed to bring home enough bacon so Mom can concentrate on the schooling? Or is it something more, like the fact that men are now entering their liberation movement? Haven't we also been shackled to the corporate chair? Haven't there been enough movies where the main character realizes, almost too late, that sacrificing family for career is a no-win situation?("Family Man" and others like that) So when, I ask, will the men of this country make the radical step that Moms make every day and come home?

Charles related a group at the convention called "Bringing Dads Home". I checked out their site at bobandtinafarewell.com and found they are using home-business opportunities to help dads have an income and still be at home. We discussed ways we can market ourselves and use what we are good at to make money. (I mean, how much corporate experience is used to make money for others, guys? Let's get selfish for our families and use that commercial sense for our own wealth building and not for distant and unconcerned CEO's!)

I know the majority of dads will never have the wherewithal to stay home full time. But the method does not matter, only the goal of having the family unit essentially unified in learning, growing, and sharing life. If that was the primary goal of every dad, I believe the social ills in our country would virtually cease. There is no substitute for the relationships
built when Mom and Dad make God their source and home their sole responsibility.

- Children's children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their father.
Proverbs 17:6

Thanks again, FPEA, for a wonderful convention and I and my family will be back many a year.
And to anyone reading, look for opportunities to be around people like the ones I met this weekend. They will help you be more in tune than ever with the strength and dedication you need to be a real family man or woman. Look to the links for more resources I found during our time in Orlando.

Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

Convention, Day 2

2008-05-25T08:33:00.006-04:00

"Carpe diem" doesn't cut it. What is Latin for "throttle the day"'? That's the phrase I need for Saturday. We crammed conventioning and vacationing into 16 hours, but it was all fun.

We started the day with the kids' mad dash to the pool at around 9:30. Christopher has become a very consistent and trustworthy guide, so we let them go by themselves. Miki's desire to swim was overcome by the desire to rest, so we didn't join them til two hours later. By this time I was regretting not going to class in the morning, but as I stated earlier, we needed to let the kids breathe and enjoy the little time they had in the resort area. Lunch in the cabana area was nice, then we dressed and headed to the Rosen Shingle Creek. I made it in time for the last class, a writing improvement course - let's see if it worked on this entry - and the kids and Miki took off for the exhibit hall.

Christopher, I think, was surprised by the massiveness of the thing. I try not to push homeschooling on him, but I want him to know the options we have that he may want to consider. By the end, he was just as enthralled at the info he found. He visited the Marines booth, web site design, Savannah College of Art and Design, and found the Drivers Handbook he was supposed to be studying. It really proved the whole idea of 'family learning' that I support - in other words, the location of your education is unimportant. The destination of your education is paramount.

(By the way, here's an example of the writing workshop strategies I learned)

Clearly, the destination of your education is the most important factor, not where it occurs. ( Starting with "ly")
Ignoring your location, you must be more aware of the destination of your education. (Starting with "ing")
Destination is priority one. (VSS - Very short sentence)

That example was part of the method our presenter used to show new ways of creating variety in writing. Taking this into consideration, I made sure to take notes to help Marcus to summarize better using key words (or as our presenter called it - "Some" -a- rize) and to help Naomi to write more extemporaneously.

Despite making it to the conference, I was still bummed out because we hadn't seen any of our friends. Watch how God works.... as I walked into the writing class, someone reached out for my hand and I reached out absent mindedly to greet the owner - and it belonged to Charles Seifert, the dad of my piano student / homeschool group members Rachel and Amber. Then I saw the whole clan - Jackie, their sons, and of course Amber and Rachel. Naomi had been asking over and over about meeting up with them.... and I run right into them. How perfect was this?

So we sauntered over to the hall to meet up with my kids. Friday afternoon we had taken in one half of the hall - Miki and the kids had worked the other half of the hall. When Jackie and I met them in the front of the hall, she was buzzing about something called "power-glide" for languages. Did I hear correctly? My wife, involved in..... dare I say it.... curriculum choices? (As you read, Miki, please understand this thought only lasted two seconds, then I remembered how supportive you always are. And how much I love and adore you...) We arranged for the kids to swim together back at the resort (they were staying at the same resort as us) and headed to finish up our purchases.

Marcus building at the Block Table (no, he didn't do the tall one)

Yes, we spent money - a lot - but how do you hold back when you see your children's future right in front of you? Each choice means one more step forward for their understanding, hopefully a little easier time for me (we bought journal portfolios that will help them keep up with their assignments), and a little more family time. Hard to pass that up. We'll add up the damage later.

The evening was filled with swimming (Rachel and Amber, like our kids, are fish in training) and watching "The Water Horse" in the hotel theater. They passed out around midnite, as we did.... after having a nice long talk with Charles over dinner as the kids swam, which was the perfect night cap.

Such a long entry, such a long day - I'll have to finish up later.

Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

Convention...Day 1 (well, Belated Day 1)

2008-05-24T08:10:00.004-04:00

Good morning, world.

My last attempt to post was foiled, but that's fine, because everything I was writing was really just a log of stuff that happened yesterday. I wanted to keep a direct log of our activities leading into the homeschool convention, but I can do that anytime. Right now, the sun is reflecting off the windows opposite my screened patio outside our hotel / condo. The temp is about 74 and breezy in Orlando, and I've had two hours to study sermon notes, read, look at the kids sleeping, fix cinnamon raisin bread toast and coffee, listen to John Mayer, and overall, get a wonderful start to my day.

No matter what else I learn, or spend this weekend, the last two hours makes it worth it.

Now, as for the convention, all I can say is.....whoa. Thousands of people like me, crazy enough to think their main priority is their kids? People of every culture, hundreds of vendors, myriad approaches to learning, enough free stuff to fill two more suitcases? That's what we're experiencing. And that was only two hours.

We spend the first hours Friday enduring a timeshare sales presentation that came with our great rate on the resort we're staying at (ok, so maybe we were more interested then I'm letting on, but I'm a Dave Ramsey listener and if he knew we considered a vacation home, he might send dogs after us.) Then it was off to the convention. We had to park about a mile away, but the resort hired shuttles which arrived immediately and dropped us off right at the entrance. We were famished from the sales presentation - perhaps they've learned hungry people make more impulse decisions - but food was provided right at the front, so we joined several other families camped out on the lobby floor, munching on pizza and chicken nuggets.

The flood of people coming through the lobby at 1:30 seemed to indicate classes were starting, but my wife and I weren't quite ready for classes. This was her first introduction to how big homeschooling has gotten, and I didn't want to overwhelm her with educationalese. So we went straight to the exhibit hall. Within minutes, we had Naomi fitted for a violin, Marcus playing in a chess tournament, Miki and I speaking with a speech therapist, and the kids looking through microscopes. Now THAT is what I call limitless learning.

Perhaps this first time, I shouldn't feel guilty if we don't make it to any classes. The experience of the first day was enough to re-energize me that we are among friends and that the kids are truly benefiting from our choice to homeschool. Even though I haven't met any other homeschool dads, I'm among people that feel the way I feel about their kids, and that is infectious and invigorating. At the end of today, I'm sure I'll feel even more that way. And yes, I will put specifics about curricula and strategies eventually in this blog, but right now I'm just absorbing the moment. And a great moment it is, a blessed moment that I give God praise for.

Looking unto the hills,

homeschoooldaddy (acp)

On the eve of the convention...

2008-05-21T22:30:00.004-04:00

OK, it's not a total vacation, but it's the closest we've ever got.

Tomorrow we attend the Florida Homeschool Convention in Orlando, FL. After much wrangling and soul searching, we've decided to take the kids along. Not because we didn't want them, but because we really didn't know when our next opportunity to be on a trip alone would be. I'm glad now, because we can share the discoveries with our kids immediately, instead of coming home with a load of stuff and throwing it at them willy nilly. I'll try to keep a log of our activities to help someone see into what caught our attention and why.

Today's homeschool stuff involved Marcus calling up his Virtual School teacher on his own - I've never seen him so focused. It almost makes me wonder if I should set up a website and teach him virtually from the other room... maybe he'd pay more attention to me (just kidding).
Naomi struggled through upside down multiplication, which reminded me that she has to keep reviewing old material. She just does better when she's taking a slower pace, but I have to keep her moving to avoid her getting frustrated.

Our life lessons came from our high gas prices. I've been monitoring our gas usage closely, as my 1999 Mazda practically bleeds oil. The tank was on half, and I had the tripometer on, which showed 147 miles traveled since last fill-up. I took a quick look at the manual to see the fuel tank capacity, then asked Marcus and Naomi to figure out the miles per gallon. Both at first missed the operation needed - division- and I had to walk Marcus through dividing decimals, but he got the estimate pretty close. Naomi of course bemoaned the whole exercise. She did better on my other family learning project - changing the thermostat to a digital programmable one instead of the classic twist knob version that was originally in the house.

I took off the original casing so they could see the vacuum tube with the bead of mercury inside, then promised 5 bucks to the one that could identify the liquid. Marcus and Chris went ballistic into Wikipedia, but Naomi calmly looked into the tube and did some observation of the whole. She prefers the systematic approach rather than the home-run hits that the boys relate to educationally. She'll make a great researcher or chemist one day because of her keen sense of putting pieces together to make a whole. (Marcus got the five dollars though.)

Time to rest up for the trip... see you in Von Trapp Disney....

Looking unto the hills,

acp

The prize of quietude...

2008-05-21T03:31:00.004-04:00

Been a while since my serene and seemingly clear-headed friend insomnia has visited me. But my old familiar friend is back, leading me around the house, starting tasks that I should have done weeks ago and leaving them to be finished months later. It's amazing how much I have to do to achieve this quiet time. After a day of work, learning, running back and forth, it seems I have to earn the right to ignore the tyrannical call of sleep. Why should I give up the hours that rightfully belong to me? I've conquered the kids - their shifting and snores in their beds proves I won the fight over bedtime and successfully filled their day with enough activity to knock them out.

These chores that surround me? I'm thankful I have them to do, 'cause it means I was able to earn the money to have things to clean up and organize. Plus, it has become the one time I'm enveloped in my own activity. I mean, who's judging the color coordination of my hangers but me? No one, that's who. I am the master of my closet.

My musical choice, which is on repeat, is Jonathan Nelson's "My Name is Victory". It's a sleeper hit in Black gospel circles. I've gotten pretty good at predicting which songs will become hot in radio play long before they become popular. Perhaps that's because I listen for themes that encourage me when I'm not thinking about choirs or playing for church. If this song tells me at 3 AM that I'm a champion, can tell me that my identity is sown up in Christ even at my most mundane moments, I'm sure someone else can identify with the same sentiment.

As you can probably tell, this post is rambling such as my mind and my body is right now. The only 'deep' thought I am entertaining as a subject is the fact that as I near this 34th year of my life, I am treasuring even more the understanding that I've come through enough to realize I have one major purpose - to be everything God wants me to be and nothing He doesn't. I'm shifting into a more settled, but determined phase - where I expect the struggle to be more with being me than doing what people expect of me. Perhaps that's why these early morning moments have been mileposts in my daily life. Even though I know I'll pay for the sleepless night with groggy eyes and loss of focus tomorrow, I can remember each time I did so like it was yesterday. The night I was at Boy Scout camp, overlooking the lake at night with the moon as my nightlight in Northwestern Florida. The night in Dunkin Donuts, playing "Trusting God" over and over and writing what became my mission statement - Love of God, Love of Family, Love for Others.

Call it my Jacob moment, wrestling with the angels of desire, purpose, and destiny, shielding me from the silent but giant doubts and fears of success, failure, and the unknown. What makes this a prize? The fact that God, who is up anyway, has a bit of time with me to just watch me being me. He's nice like that - talking loud enough for me to hear, but not enough to wake up the kids. When I catch that 12 Pm nap and the kids wake me up, perhaps I'll be a little more ready to do something with the hours I've left myself - to be physically what I've become mentally and spiritually the night before.

Looking unto the hills,

acp

Misunderstanding + mis-vision = opposition

2008-05-20T03:49:00.006-04:00

(Continuation of last post)

If there were so much understanding of the father's role in their children's lives, I would have lots of fathers in my fatherhood focus group on Saturday mornings at the church. When it was announced, the classes offered cash incentives and breakfast served, all for no cost to the participants. The program has been offered in Hispanic areas to great success. So, considering the considerable and consistent statistical knowledge of how needed African American fathers are, we should have had overflowing attendance in the class we offered, right?

Lucky guess. Actually, there were only two at last class. The others were Middle Eastern and Hispanic dads.

This is why I find opposition must be a result of misunderstanding and mis-vision. Misunderstanding in that the people against my homeschooling must not understand the main reasoning for my scheduling decision is to maximize my work efficiency, not to lower it. And mis-vision because they cannot see the priority of my choice in the context of what God has led me to understand about the role of the father.

In the Old Testament, there are very clear indications that the father is responsible for the worldview and training of the child in a very direct sense. There was no public school system, nor were mothers given the primary role of teacher. This of course is a generalization of thousands of verses, but it's obvious that Proverbs, for example, concentrates on the father - son relationship. When I realized that I was biblically responsible for my children's entire spiritual and mental formation, I realized that I could not, without further instructions from the Holy Spirit, release my children back to the public system. This led to my leaving teaching in elementary and homeschooling full time for one year.

Still, I understood upon taking the full time position at the church would strain both our family learning and my ability to work, I made sure to get permission from my pastor, and I discussed the implications for months before starting to take the kids to work.

Now, perhaps I am overreacting to outside comments that may amount to nothing. But this opposition has only strengthened my resolve. As long as anyone thinks that parenting is not the primary method for raising disciples to Christ, and stands in opposition to the most effective means of achieving that goal, I have work to do. I may not be able to correct all misunderstanding about why I do what I do; neither should I try to. But I can continue to show through my example and my expression that nothing should come before the satisfaction and education of my children. And I intend to do so.

Looking unto the hills,

acp

http://www.enfamiliamiami.org

Only + lonely + attacked = ?

2008-05-20T01:53:00.002-04:00

OK, now this is getting ridiculous.

Without giving details that would endanger trust, I can admit that I know my decision to homeschool at work is being questioned. Questioned as in, implying that having my kids at work is somehow detrimental to the church or my ability to work effectively.

Excuse me while I make some salient points to whomever thinks this makes sense.

"TONIGHT, about four of every ten children in the United States will go to sleep in homes
where their fathers do not live. Before they reach the age of eighteen, more than half of
America’s children are likely to spend at least a significant portion of their childhoods liv-
ing apart from their fathers."

- "Turning the Corner on Father Absence In Black America", Morehouse College Conference on African American Fathers, 1999

"Because parents tend to be stricter on children of the same sex, the role of fathers is crucial to the growth of boys' self-esteem, said Mandara, a graduate student. Specifically, the pressure that fathers place on boys to achieve builds boys' self-confidence.

Mandara and Murray's study flies in the face of recent studies that concluded the role of the father in the African American household was not very important."

-From UC Riverside article re: a study by psychologists Jelani Mandara and Carolyn Murray, 2000

I missed the part that said where having my kids near me was a bad thing.

The fact that someone in an African American church is upset that an African American dad wants his kids to be with him at work is baffling. I would understand if I was giving them 40's and blunts, or if I had them watching reruns of "Sister Sister" for four hours straight.
But at church?

For those who don't know, our schedule fits into my work like this: (try to keep up). I work at the church Monday through Thursday, Saturday and of course Sunday. During those days, I bring my kids to work from 9 to 2 on every other Monday and from 9 to 12 on Tuesdays. Every other day when I bring them to work, they participate in the tutoring program at our church, so that they interact with their public school counterparts. Of course it allows me more time at work, but since I work mostly nights in rehearsals, that morning time is the most I spend with the kids.

So of course, my time with them is affecting my work, right?
Wrong. In that time, they are usually on their laptops in my office. Sometimes I'll become their tech support, getting them back on the internet, checking over a podcast they're downloading, but for the most part they are working on their own. It provides a time away from the temptation of TV and forces them to concentrate on their studies. My kids' interaction with the staff is like that of junior interns. They sometimes deliver messages or run small errands, but mostly they provide comic relief and sounding boards for their projects. There have been no incidents whatsoever of them causing distraction for the office or the employees.

OK, so now there's no employment issue I can find, and no socially negative influence. If there was a liability problem, well, let's not mention the hundreds of children we have in tutoring each day that we are not insured against. Point blank, there is no way anyone can give me a valid reason why I shouldn't have the ability to have my kids at this particular workplace...unless...

Who's being tested?

2008-05-18T01:59:00.003-04:00

Who's being tested?

Once again I'm lying in bed, contemplating the week's events, thanking and thinking. The kids had testing this week. Amazing, the only one with test anxiety was the one not taking the test - yes, yours truly. I fell back into FCAT strategy mumbo jumbo... talking about pacing and other things that have nothing to do with actual knowledge. My fear was that the kids would fall back into panic if there was material we hadn't covered. So imagine my surprise, pleasantly, when the kids bustled out of the site saying testing was - gasp - FUN.

Wait. You mean a year of not focusing on test taking strategies and robotic drill and practice actually contributed to more positive feelings about testing? Imagine that. Whatever will the Florida Board of Education do when (in a million years) they discover this?

I won't have scores for at least a month, but I rest assured that children that approach tests as personal challenge and not a socialist responsibilty to carry their school's reputation on their shoulders will, in the long run, score better. One can always think better without the weight of outside expectations weighing you down. So next year maybe I'll tell them to miss a few on purpose just for fun.

Only kidding.

Looking into the hills,

Acp

Leaving legacies...

2008-05-13T06:16:00.004-04:00

This morning we have several issues that may be facing our family. Summer is on the way, the kids have final projects and tests looming, Miki and I are debating financial decisions (what to do with money the government thinks we should spend - in other words, bail them out with the money they take from us - how apropo... ) but what's foremost on my mind is an unfortunate loss of a colleague in ministry by the name of Rev. English. I learned just today he was killed in a car accident last weekend. That shock was followed by the announcement that he would be buried out of town, and the memorial service had already taken place in Miami. In other words, there would be no paying of respects, no final viewing. He's gone and gone.

This gentleman was a musician in a local small church, and we ran into each other frequently in Baptist conventions and church engagements in central Miami. He was always gregarious, laughing, kind of the off - kilter uncle that talks a little too loud and leans in a little too close, but you know he can't help it. He also wasn't the most skilled musician, but he was always there at every function. Mostly though, he was almost overly impressed by my playing. That always made me feel good, even a little uncomfortable, knowing that an older musician looked up to me. I was even thinking of starting a church musician course with musicians like him in mind - people that have been faithful for years but never had adequate or continuous training in music theory or piano technique. In this way I hoped to give back to my forebears in church music while forging a new path. Now, it seems at least for one soldier, I waited a bit too long.

The point I take from this is that as the younger generation watches the older ones pass to reward, we must face the fact that we can't wait for our older days to come before beginning to forge our legacies. The way we deal with our elders is part of the legacy we leave - if it be kindness or neglect. In many respects our parents now look up to us. We have the advantage technologically, of course, and socially we may be more knowledgeable and understanding of relationship techniques and parenting skills, but they will always have the edge of knowing that life is longer and more complicated than we ever see at the present. Our elders have that sense of timelessness, of the principles that don't change with presidents or pundits, new preachers or popular TV shows. No, they are not perfect, but they've proven through lifetime experience that they don't have to be. And maybe we should take a clue from them, like I do from Rev. English, that being all God made you to be is the highest form of perfection one can hope to attain. May God add wings to the prayers for his family.

Looking unto the hills,

acp

Today's quote

2008-05-11T23:24:00.002-04:00

"I have found my comedic voice. I have yet to find my comedic audience."

- Chris Paul, 16, defending his sense of humor.

Only = lonely?

2008-05-07T09:38:00.001-04:00

Blogging from the iPod again so forgive the typos. The kids are
winding down from the year and all I've really given them is review
work from previous lessons. Naomi showed some weakness in grammar so
I'm reviewing that with her. Marcus has finally got the hang of turning
in virtual school documents (I hope). They both test next week so I'm
not sure how they'll react to being reintroduced to standardized
testing. Hopefully they will remember that tests are designed to show where we have progressed and where we need to progress further, not as an end to progress.

Now for the introspection.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my lot in life and the unlikely roles I play - full time dad, full time minister, musician, homeschooling dad, husband and father for most of my adult life, homeowner at the age of 24, etc. I start to think about how few people I can really share some of these experiences with. Dad? Of course there are plenty of dads I could talk to, but how many are homeschooling? Homeschooler? Yes, I thank God for the opportunity I've had to be in my children's lives, but being male and African American means again I'm not exactly the prototype. Musician? Most of my contemporaries are either striving to make millions or are content to play on the weekends.

At each point where I am in the center of a group, I am on the outside in some way.

So is loneliness the obvious result? Is the fact that I feel somewhat - well, different - at each point of my life a sign of progress beyond the norm, or a sign of my ineffectiveness in connecting with likeminded people? As one matures, should finding peers naturally become more difficult? And if so, what determines how you move on? After all, you have to be a stranger before you become a friend, and you have to be willing to introduce yourself into other circles before you can be accepted among new groups and be introduced to new opportunities.
But it's the comfort of the familiar that usually frees one to be one's self.

There seems to be an implicit uneasiness that must accompany the progression from complacency to challenge, from knowing who you are to knowing you are becoming something else. When I realize that I am in a unique position, it verifies both that I'm a independent figure, created like no one else in the world by God, but it also verifies that I am dependent on the relationships and the people around me to help me see who I am. Without learning to adjust in situations in which I am not the same as everyone else, I would not able to handle the adjustments I've had to make to changing situations in my own life. When you can be around others that are not like you, it can help you see other perspectives - even when you begin to adopt them. To be in the sinkhole of sameness keeps you unable to re-imagine yourself. So I'm grateful for the only-ness, if only for the reason that it means I'm willing to grow beyond what I am now. It confirms that I can be comfortable around others while knowing I am not, and should not, be the same myself.

That's enough for now....

Looking unto the hills, acp

Tests, Texting, and Testiness

2008-04-24T00:32:00.000-04:00

Random thoughts of a cluttered mind....

- When did my most frustrating moments become my inability to text a person as fast as I could say the same thing by calling? and...

- Why do I insist on texting them anyway?

- When I tested my kids on information they learned last year, Naomi's comment was "Dad, my brain is getting too full."

- Am I getting frustrated because it's been a long year of school, or because I realize the kids are a year closer to leaving me and I've wasted countless chances to bond with them?

- (For teens only) How can you send 1000 texts in one month? Do you have some kind of training program? Is their a textathon somewhere my teenage son is preparing for?

- At what point did my favorite phrase become, "It's not like I'm so much older than you, but..."

- The highlight of any man's day is finding two matching socks on the first dig into the mismatch sock basket. (Admit it, you've got one too.)

- Proof that I should make the kids pay for stuff...

Marcus - "Name something in life that isn't free."

Naomi - "well, everything in my life is free b'cause my parents pay for everything."

- The simpler a concept is, the more you have to explain it.

- The only time I miss childhood is when I'm witnessing someone wasting theirs.

- At this pace of life, I have to get to know myself everyday for fear I'll forget who I am.

- What could God do with our lives if we weren't in the way?

Looking unto the hills,
acp

The future is on a 3.5 inch screen.

2008-04-10T03:14:00.001-04:00

Since I have been unable to consistently blog with my laptop, maybe my
new iPod touch will motivate me to write more often. It seems all our
technology is designed to make our eyes unable to focus on anything
bigger than our hand.

We are completing our science fair abstracts, after successfully
spilling enough soda to start a bottling company. The kids chose to
replay the diet coke and mentor soda geyser experiment made famous by
Mythbusters and youtube videos. Maybe not the most practical of
topics, but certainly not a boring one. It also gave us opportunity to
work on the scientific method, which I was worried about not covering
enough.

As for family life, Miki and I continue to weigh our options. We both
see the need for more time for ourselves, but it's always a struggle
to break away long enough to really recharge. Jesus made a habit of
taking time for prayer away from the crowds, so we have to be able to
leave the kids in good hands once in a while and regroup as a couple
for both faith and fun. I mean, He was all God and man, so I know we
mere mortals need rest too. Now to schedule that is another story.

Looking unto the hills...

Acp

Continued solutions....

2008-01-17T01:11:00.000-05:00

First off, thank you Mylinda for encouraging me to pick up the pace... (smile)

We've had some interesting educational quandaries lately. One involves the kids and and their tutors at our ministry. (I pray they're not reading). Apparently one of the teen tutors is having a little difficulty in division, a subject Marcus mastered with Math U See. I came in one day to deliver a book to Naomi and found her at the board working on a division problem. The teenager told me Marcus had been interrupting her as she was trying to explain problems, so I asked if I could stay and watch his classroom behavior. Naomi worked out the problem, leaving a remainder larger than the original divisor (i.e. 20 / 3 = 5 with a remainder of 5). In typical ADD fashion I myself pointed out the error without raising my hand first. (Talk about the apple not falling far from the tree. ) The teen vainly tried to explain to me that "this is the way they tell them to do it at school", and pointed out some new anagram of the steps. The saddest part is that the tutor and all the kids thought she was right!

This easily could become a post about the failures of public schooling writ large, but I was more influenced by Marcus' comments. He stated that he might want to wait to start (public) middle school because he was noticing the issues of some of the older students.

You see, the most important thing about that statement is that he is taking responsibility for his own educational choices. Not whether it was in homeschool or public, but that HE was making the choice based on his needs and not social, emotional or family pressures. It reinforces my belief that the greatest gift of this family learning journey is the identification of identity, the response to the understanding of responsibility over your own life. There can be no greater aim than the true meaning of ecucere, the Latin root of our word 'educate'. It means 'to lead out'. OUT. What are we leading out of our children? You can only lead out what is already in, not what is put in. To put into our children what is not naturally there can only lead to a rejection or a stagnation of the information. Knowledge must connect to wisdom, which must connect to real life application of God's natural order in our lives and in our greater existence. Without that connection, our education throughout our lives is simply an appendage to our real selves, a tool outside the box only picked up out of curiosity and not necessity. As Agrippa falsely accused Paul, "Much learning has made you mad." Or if not mad, at least bloated and unfulfilled, as I think many of our children are today with the information overload they are experiencing. I really hope someway we can encourage educators of every stripe to sense the great need for the removal of victimization in education to be replaced by the desire for individual responsibility, and with it the freedom to be one's self as God intended.

Perhaps it is fitting then that we are reading a chapter of Proverbs each day in our church - one for each day in January. Wisdom is still calling in the streets in 2008. I think many in all walks of life should answer her call with the understanding that she holds us individually accountable for how we handle her teachings. And with that I will bid adieu until next time I'm inspired (or goaded :-) into writing more often.

Unto the hills,
acp

Solution.

2008-01-10T00:12:00.000-05:00

I made no resolutions this year. Of course, you hear many making the same statement at the beginning of a new year - they're used to quiting, or not following through with their commitments, or perhaps they are rebelling against the prevailing wisdom that the passage of the earth around the sun one more time signifies the time to try to change things about ourselves. However, that isn't why I eschewed the resolution binge. It's because of the word itself.

The original Latin root of resolve means to loosen. The idea seems to be that idea of removing the obstacle to a certain end or goal by great force. But in common English, "re" refers to a repeated action, and obviously "solve" involves the idea of a complete answer to a problem. How can one repeatedly solve the same problem? No, I prefer one complete solution, one that does not mean remaking myself, but finding what my purpose was from the beginning. It is not a resolve, it is a return. A return to the purpose that already resides in me, an affirmation that God is the real solution, not the resolution. Even in the original meaning, resolving means more than grabbing onto something, it is releasing all that is not important or central to the high prize of the calling for which I strive. The idea of letting go, of the total lack of my internal ability to change without eternal assistance, is my mandate for 2008.

In homeschooling news, we are back into our normal schedule. Marcus is working on presidential trading cards and reading "Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry" , and Naomi is head over heels in love with "Bridge to Teribithia". The kids seem to feel comfortable with the prospect of continuing homeschooling even as Marcus approaches middle school age. We will look into enrolling him in Florida Virtual School to allow him a taste of higher end classes.

Happy New Year to all and may God help you to maximize your mission this year!

Unto the hills,
acp

Cash, Cheerleading, and Curriculum

2007-11-13T00:22:00.000-05:00

Another busy two weeks - actually super busy. I try not to make negative statements about being in church every night, as people may think that being in church is a bad thing. But certainly it's tiring when you're getting home at 10 and 10:30 each evening. But it's been a good run of leadership training and learning at these services too. (We had a leadership service week.) We had time to rest today and I have a bit of time to write.

First of all, blessings to all the veterans, including in my family. Many have passed on but we still cherish their memory and their courage. I wish we could have done more to commemorate the day, but I was heartened by my children's prayers this evening - each one thanked God for the sacrifices of soldiers. Maybe some of these lessons are sinking in.

We've had varying success using the Weaver curriculum. It's very thorough in explanation but a little skimpy on activities that don't involve a lot of hands on stuff. In other words, the lessons aren't very independent learning friendly. They seem more teacher directed, and that's not great for our style. However, the bible lessons fit well into the units and I also appreciate the number of activities available - I just wish they allowed for more "stretching". When I have to stretch the activities, it seems like I'm back to square one in my planning crunch. It's only been a few weeks so we'll keep at it to make sure it's not the improper application of the material that's causing the problem (for me, at least.)

As for cash, it's time to budget for classes and sports for next year. I'm very concerned that we'll either spend too much or not enough. Perhaps that's every parent's worry - does my daughter really need that violin class and the new violin? If I don't buy in, have I deprived her? And how much is too much? Cheerleading, dance, piano, you name it, she's in it. Even as a piano teacher myself, I wouldn't want kids that are stretched too thin in my class. They usually are irritable, don't take personal interest in the lesson, and seem to just go through the motions in order to appease whatever parent forced them to learn the instrument. And that's the last thing I want for my kids to feel. On the other hand, of course, they are talented enough to excel, and I also want them to have a high level of accomplishment in something. By week's end we'll have to decide whether to leave them in their current classes, or move them into something less expensive. Miki and I are praying for a blessing that will allow us to balance their creative needs with their physical ones - so that they won't lack on either case. A fair and noble request, if I do say so myself.

Later I'll detail some of the unit lessons that have been less than interesting in the Weaver and perhaps someone will help me spice it up or find alternatives. Until then, I'll be looking unto the hills...

Typical...

2007-10-24T23:48:00.001-04:00

Wow, a full three weeks and I kind of dropped of the face of the earth. Not literally, but about in every other sense of the word. I've had about as bad a period of 'blues' as I've had in a while. And during that time, I felt that "midnight of the soul" hunger for some kind of hope, even as my conscious mind related all the obvious things that were going well. Thank God that patience from my wife and a word from the Pastor helped me snap out of it. I won't accept that periods like that are necessary, only that when they happen they can teach us that faith has to outlast feelings, and this time it did again.

Now to happier thoughts - my new theme song.

Mute Math is a hybrid Christian / alternative - well I hate labels, so let's just say they're awesome musicians. I love anything that breaks boundries, and even though their lead singer is a dead ringer for Sting /early Peter Gabriel, I'm loving their electronic / pop sound. The song that I have been wearing out is their single "Typical". Just the first few lines speak directly to my (and I'm sure many others) current state of mind...

Come on, can I dream for one day?
There's nothing that can't be done
But how long should it take somebody
Before they can be someone

Cuz I know there's got to be another level
Somewhere closer to the other side
And I'm feelin' like it's now or never
Can I break the spell of the typical?

And that became my mantra / prayer in this past week. Whatever happens, today, Lord, let it not be typical. Not predictable or run of the mill. Let this day be a breakthrough day in my relationships, work, my faith, my finances - SOMETHING. And considering that I had the same stresses today as many and still found the time to take care of some major things that were nagging me, I have to say that prayer was answered. Maybe it won't be thunder and lightning from the sky, but I'm sure that each day I'm more focused on His will for my family and my life, will not be a typical day. May your days also be anything but typical.

The kids also did something atypical - a video podcast. It's at our webpage at web.mac.com/allenpaul and also on Itunes. If you only knew how many takes it took just to make a pizza...Emeril can keep the job, and the iron chefs too. :-)

Looking unto the hills,
acp

Pushing through....

2007-10-10T07:24:00.000-04:00

We returned to our Park group today and I felt so behind. Not because of some assignments, but just because obviously the other families were up on the current events of the group. It was tempting not to join this year in an attempt to save time, but again I have to look at the whole picture - Naomi is now helping create an environmental club with her friends, and both kids were able to get homeschool ID cards. The support group helps us find things like that that are not necessarily part of anyone's curriculum. Even though I'm still the only homeschooling dad of the group, there are other fathers that come around so I'm not the only man standing around, which helps a bit. I know the gender thing isn't the most important thing, but I do feel more and more a need to find other men to network with.

Not much else this morning, will check in later.

Looking unto the hills,
ap

What a day...

2007-10-07T16:37:00.000-04:00

...and not just for me. I guess you can say we are "churched out" for today. We've spent a couple of days just relaxing and recovering from the week.

Friday was another great day at enrichment - I was able to volunteer in Naomi's ceramics class and help her to craft a clay bowl. They'll dry and fire them over the weekend and she'll be able to paint it next week. Saturday was spent trying to un-virus Christopher's computer...makes me even more wary about his computer time if he's downloading unfamiliar things... and preparing for Sunday Service. The kids have become "Brain Quest" fanatics - they spent all evening quizzing each other on factoids - which I can't say I object to. They could find many worse things to drive each other crazy with. Another plus was the arrival of Marcus' fraction overlays - in minutes we were practicing equivalent fractions, something that I couldn't do with my "homemade" versions. (Sometimes saving money is losing time!)

Oh yes, and we spent a lot of time watching "Travel Channel" - as a break during the day it's been nice to turn on the TV and watch "Passport to Europe w/ Samantha". She does a tour guide look at several European cities, which I promptly had the kids look up. While it wasn't a unit I was planning, it fits into our daily schedule and provides some independent study opportunities for the kids. The more they know about the world, the more they'll be able to function and relate to all the international news they hear from day to day.

Personally, I'm still working on that relaxation vs. procrastination thing - I know I need the rest today but it seems there's always a reason why I should be moving. Perhaps it's the fact that time is moving so fast. High School is now a distant memory at 15 years past, and college is quickly moving into the same place in the rear view mirror. So standing still sometimes feels like moving backward. I know there is so much to be accomplished, and yet I have to rely on bursts of energy and synergistic days where everything falls into place to feel like I got anything done. But maybe that's the way all of us have to operate - knowing that it's mostly 3 steps forward and two steps back - while realizing that progress has still been made.

I hope to connect with other homeschool dads in the near future. Feel free to write or comment on any entry - I'm always open to network and share with other fathers that are taking the lead in their children's future.

Looking unto the hills,
acp

Encourage Yourself...

2007-09-30T22:27:00.000-04:00

Sunday evening and a little procrastination has set in - or is it relaxation? I forget which is which.

Our teen choir sang at church today. In some churches 12 - 15 teens in a choir would be a joy, but at my 'mega' church it makes the choir stand look empty. Now the kids did a great job singing, but it's still tough to pull off. Add to that an embarassing showing at a church on Wednesday - one that has brought very public criticism - and that demon of doubt and discouragement has been creeping into my thought process. It isn't that I feel God has deserted me, ala Mother Teresa, but it is a questioning of whether I'm correctly identifying His purposes for me. But a time of prayer and reflection has reminded me that I am able to handle this challenge because I've been given the tools, through previous struggles, to overcome it.

It's funny how issues in one area make you worry about others that are not really a problem. Just getting a spelling book seemed to revitalize our homeschool lessons, but now I find myself wondering if we will make real progress or if the kids are (dare I say it?) "falling behind". We've done pretty well with 4 day week lessons, but I'm tempted to add an assignment on Mondays to even out the weeks activities. However, I'm pretty sure once I get our Weaver curriculum (I've been disputing with my Ebay seller for two weeks now!) I'll be much more comfortable. Fridays at our enrichment class have been a great success (if not a little expensive) and we're about ready to start podcasting again. I just have to carve out the time and prioritize the creative types of activities. Oh yes, and also find the time to, um, relax.

Looking unto the hills,
acp

Spending Time...

2007-09-24T22:07:00.000-04:00

Once again I have to report a pretty basic day... no lessons as I've flipped my workday to Monday to allow for enrichment classes on Fridays. I haven't really investigated the benefits of a four day school week, but it's worked for us. I think the grind of the busy days we do have lessons makes up for the days like today. We still have piano lessons on Mondays so we have some activity.
But I know it's important that I keep at least some regular hours at our church. It's tough to balance the two. At the beginning of the day, it looked like our friend wasn't going to be able to watch them - boy, were they bummed out. Spending all day in Dad's office is not their idea of fun. But she picked them up and all was right with the world again - and I suppose I was relieved too. I don't pretend I don't need the break myself. I haven't yet got the hang of teaching and working at the same time.
Our Weaver curriculum came through, so hopefully we can report on how that goes in the next few weeks.

I'm thinking of starting a music blog to help me express the other side of my life - although it might work out in this blog as well - I'll make an announcement if I do. Also, check out The Daddycast and Kidswifeworklife.com I found both of these very well done podcasts. You can find them on Itunes.

Looking unto the hills,
acp

Just the facts...

2007-09-21T00:24:00.000-04:00

A long day and a busy one - I was called in to a manager's meeting at church when I was expecting to be at home, so the kids had to spend some time in my office and we missed our chance to update our podcast. The kids are looking forward to it still, however. We made a quick run to the library where we were able to play some checkers, find Naomi's book on Double Dutch (she's reading it for the second time) and also get Marcus a book on the history of football. That little breather made the interruption a little easier to take.

I was disappointed because I lost the eBay auction I was in for the fraction sheets for Math-u-See. The economics of homeschooling have been bearing on us a bit - I've become a big user of eBay for books and materials that aren't at the library. Hopefully we'll be able to get all the things we need without breaking the bank...we spent more money this year on enrichment classes, but so far it seems like it was worth it because the kids really look forward to them.

Not much else to say tonight, just trying to encourage myself as things aren't great - but we give thanks in all things.

Looking unto the hills,
acp

The unschooling, schooling homeschooler

2007-09-19T23:11:00.000-04:00

Tonight I guess I'm looking for deep thoughts and finding none. Often I've written on the dichotomy of living life and reflecting on life, but now I think I'm too weary for the latter, and too busy with the former. The children had a nice day - lots of reading for Marcus, who's finishing up A Series of Unfortunate Events for the second time. Naomi seems content with snailing through her multiplication tables - I'm watching closely to see if she is actually struggling, but she seems to enjoy making people think she's helpless, only to burst through with big eureka moments of realizations. I guess she enjoys the extra bit of accomplishment she gives herself. At any rate I constantly remind myself that it's the rare 30 year old that doesn't know 4 X 8.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm a true unschooler. I've shunned curricula since starting to homeschool, yet I'm constantly searching for new series and methods of teaching that basically subscribe to the page a day format. 'Eclectic' may be a better term, but that seems like the 'general studies' moniker for a college student. The term is not important, it's the philosophy behind it that I want to be consistent about, if only to make sure I don't become what I say I'm not. I want to remain a proponent of interest based learning, even if I bend and shift with my child's needs. I want to stand for the meaning of education as a means to accomplish God's purposes for our maturation and not a method to achieve man's approval. It seems to be bearing out in my children's diverse interests, but I guess every parent has to wait til they are grown to know that you truly placed certain ideas within them.

I just found the Weaver curricula on eBay and we are going to try out a few unit studies to see if it helps organize our thinking and lessons for each week - something that will help me to maintain our pace of learning, even if we do decide to break now and again. I hope I won't let this new method change me into the wicked school teacher with the pointy nose and the ruler for slapping disobedient children on the wrist - probably not, but at least I'm honest with my fears. I don't think I could ever be a school - at - home dad, repeating the life I lived as a public school teacher for so long. But to indulge in little structure to complement my rebellious academic stance? As long as I hear comments like I did this morning, from Marcus, I think we'll be OK -
"My goodness, I loved the way this morning looked!"

Looking unto the hills,
acp

Late night thougts on writing....

2007-09-19T03:38:00.000-04:00

Whoever sang the song "The Nighttime is the Right Time" did not have children and a 9 o'clock lesson.
Today was full of activity as usual, but good news all around - my first time teaching teen bible study was a success - in that I left with half a voice remaining, teens that were not asleep or pulling each other's hair out, and with a growing feeling that I gave them an honest and forthcoming look at my topic, which was praise and worship. I must admit I fell victim to the hyperfocusing tendencies of a ADHD writer - the inability to summarize and make concise points was obvious in that 90% of what I wrote was not read aloud. The stream of thoughts that come when I'm writing is similar to that when I perform musically - only in the rear view mirror of playback or review does my work seem excessive. At the time of creation it feels natural, almost effortless. Of course, the writer's craft is to take that stream and force it into a canal of constrained logic, while the musician's craft is to make the music seem to be as wild and free as possible while maintaining underneath the foundation of harmony and melodic sense.

For my children, the tendency to overstate is all too common. Marcus hates to summarize. His American Revolution project last year, supposedly a synopsis of the major battles, became a 20 page paraphrase of the book he was reading. I tried to impress upon him the need for information to be pared down and analyzed for major themes, but in his head everything is major. Again, the double edged sword - I certainly wouldn't accuse an American History Major of being too detailed, and who knows if he may be headed in that direction? In my older son, the need to include everything did lead at times to problems with finishing work - public school, of course, is nothing if not ruthless with the deadline - and he also had to learn to sometimes do what was easiest until he had the freedom to do what was best.
I hope it does not seem like I am dismissing the idea of editing and structuring the written word, but I am saying that the desire to express everything you know about a subject shouldn't be ignored or dismissed. Most children, like my daughter, are hard pressed to do more than the minimum. So when an interest pops up in a long, drawn out report, I try not to look at the lack of main points and instead at the obvious level of intensity my child put into detailing each fact. When he is writing for some newspaper at 3AM one day, I'm sure the urge to overspill his verbs and nouns will be dampened somewhat.
We are trying to get Naomi into completing multiplication and both kids are starting to plan their next podcast. The links below should include the page now. I'm also getting ready to try the Weaver curriculum from Alpha Omega, so if anybody reading this has tips, I've love to hear from you.

Looking unto the hills,
AP

Thankfulness

2007-09-16T22:48:00.000-04:00

This month began our new school year - both public and homeschool. The opening schedule made me feel so behind, as I again tried to balance full-time ministry with full-time parenting. But right in the middle of beginning my own pity party about how busy and tired I am, I am reminded, as many of us are, by tragedy that I really am blessed. On Wednesday my church will bury a 4 year old drowning victim. The mother is only 19 herself. Add to that the fatal police shootings this week in Miami, and it seems that God is again allowing the world to wake us up. I kissed my daughter a couple more times this evening, and I gave my son the benefit of the doubt with his homework so he could enjoy a relaxed evening with his brother and sister.
It again reminds me that the main reason I educate at home and make such an effort to be involved in my older son's life. It can never become trite that we spend time with our loved ones. It's not the amount of homework, or the chores that are checked off, it's the love that is shared between parent and child that is the foundation of everything else they will become.

One other incident that gave me pause happened on Friday. I took my kids to a Christian homeschool co-op with classes from pottery to cheerleading. The kids loved it, of course, but I do have to volunteer for one hour each week. There were many other dads around, but mostly in support or visiting their spouses and kids. In my class, one mother saw me and related how she knew another "Mr. Mom", but that he was disabled so that was a natural way for him to help out. It made me think of how strange it is now for fathers to be considered the main educator of the family, while the Bible basically places almost all the responsibility for the child's education on the father. Proverbs is nothing if not a instruction manual from a father to a son. Moses said over and over to the fathers of the Israelites that they were to impart the wisdom of following the Lord to their children. For men to truly be complete in our God given role, I feel we must again take our role as leaders, not just of finances or home projects, but of the worldview and faith-walk of our families. I'm not saying it's easy, I just know that it is worth it to continue to take the lead in my children's learning and spiritual growth. That's my goal for 2007-08, to make sure my children have the best I can give them as a father in every way - spiritually, emotionally, and educationally. I pray for anyone else that is joining me in this effort to make the next generation even better than the last.

Looking unto the hills,

AP

Another year past...

2007-06-16T22:56:00.000-04:00

Not much time before this computer goes to sleep, so I must comment quickly....

I didn't even notice that my last post was exactly one year after I began this erstwhile attempt to maintain a journal of my exploits as the 'homeschooldaddy'. It seems strange that I didn't mark the occasion - then again with my long gaps in blogging, it's probably no surprise. With the kids in summer camp (free at my church - what a blessing!) and evaluations to complete, there's not much going on educationally. I am glad that the summer camp is doing some academic review, but mostly I do want the kids to enjoy themselves. Now the interesting thing is I'm back on the outside, asking the kids what they did each day and responding with the generic "That's nice...." I'm a little upset with myself, knowing I'm not as engaged with their excitement because I'm not sharing it day to day. The immediate feedback of teaching and interfacing with the kids each day is a bit intoxicating, and I'm missing it already. I'm glad their love of knowledge has not disappeared just because they are in a 'school' like environment...it's a comfort to know they still can work in any type of social setting.

Only one bar left on the battery, so I must close for tonight. Look to the hills....

ap

Quiet Nights at Home...

2007-04-28T22:21:00.000-04:00

Another late evening....the kids and wife are asleep and I'm wondering to myself if blogging now is a kind of epitaph to the day past. The assumption that I'm writing to myself is some comfort, until I remember that I am allowing the world in on this inner sanctum of random thoughts. Two things right now do warrant comment...one, my oldest sons' current difficulties with school (public, that is) and the things I noticed about the days that are not filled with activity, like today.

Christopher has never been the workhorse at school. He has exhibited the same consistent inconsistency since 2nd grade...call it the ADD or the lack of interest in anything but comic novels and British hip-hop, but it led to a frantic call from his teacher the other day. The fact that every day I ask him about school, and the classic teen response - "ok" - was no comfort when the teacher explained that 'OK' really meant - "I haven't turned in any work for two weeks and the teacher is about to pull her (and my) hair out."
Now as a homeschooler and rebel against the system of grading, I'm in a tight spot. To go on the rampage about lackadaisical attitudes is one thing. To be upset over D's and F's when I know I've exempted my other two kids from the struggle about letter grades is another. And I admit that the call from a fellow teacher was embarassing to say the least. What parent doesn't feel a shot of guilt and dismay at their own situation - my kid's the one in the back of the class, goofing off? Now it's PERSONAL - all about my reputation, my desire not to be singled out as the parent with the bad kid. Funny, that's the same feeling I don't want my kid to be motivated by. I don't want him working to avoid being singled out or for the classic carrot /reward for being a 'good student'. I really want him to care. To desire excellence for excellence's sake. To realize that 99% of the work he does is a chance to exhibit responsibility over a long term task, and not to become an expert on Shakespeare or the history of Elizabethan Art. But for a moment, I have to say the "you better shape up" speech. Now Chris is a classic "whatever" type - so I can't look for the breakdown moment where he would suddenly see things my way. In fact, I resigned myself to more monitoring (which I hate) and the fact that the only way he pulls these grades up is by more pressure from other sources, and not just being grounded. Despite all these things, I hope I haven't sent the message that it's all about grades - because it's not. Anybody checked Bill Gates' report card lately? Didn't think so.

As we rummaged through today, we did have the chance to play outside, take a nap, throw the football around, grill hot-dogs and generally be unrushed, which was a blessing. I keep thinking about the parents of the Virginia Tech tragedy, and other parents who have lost kids and I thank God again that I can watch my kids play and fool around one more day. The other day my daughter and I walked to the store and talked about silly stuff like flying cars, but she loved it and constantly reminded the boys later that Daddy and her 'bonded'. Now when 'bonding' became a vocabulary word for a 8 year old, I don't know, but the fact that we did spend time together was just confirmation that I'm enjoying something very precious, something that I don't know I would have if our lives were run the traditional 9 to 5 rat race style way. No, our days aren't all quiet and peaceful, but that makes the ones that are much more special.

Looking unto the hills,

AP

Return to contemplation...

2007-04-24T03:04:00.000-04:00

Once again it's a late night and I've returned to the quiet, insomina-influenced musings about life. It's a shame that I'm going to pay dearly in the morning for this time that is often my only chance to truly unwind. Perhaps that is an indictment on my busy lifestyle, or, (as I'd prefer) a revelation that I shouldn't have to go to work so early.

The kids are gearing down - or up, depending how you look at it - for summer. It's inevitable that as May approaches that the thoughts turn more to completion and wrapping up things instead of starting them. I've been trying gamely to squeeze in one more unit study of Kitchen Science and have the kids do their final podcast of the year. The time might be better spent reviewing the last 8 months and making sure we've covered everything we wanted to cover this year, but the kids love to cook and there are some concepts about matter and energy I can tell they are still confused about. Next year comes the major decision on whether to enter our third year of homeschooling. Our schedule this year was challenging to say the least, and Naomi did not go as far as I would have liked in math or grammar. We've always known that Marcus is better at independent work than Naomi, but I am feeling the normal pangs of doubt about considering public school again. Obviously I have to give myself more time to consider what we've really accomplished and how well the children are applying their learning to everyday life, which was the point all long.

The key that I find myself returning to what we've gained through homeschooling. My quiet moments talking with my daughter while waiting for a speech therapy class to end; listening to the kids engage in a serious discussion on how best to structure their nursery business (their clients - 18 various puppies and teddy bear dolls), and of course, the various 'aha' moments that may be far and few between, but are worth it everytime they occur. Homeschooling forces me to constantly consider my children first in each family decision. And I admit I am scared and ashamed of the fact that without that motivation it would be very easy to lower their deserved priority. As a dad it is a challenge and a continual reminder that no matter where my children are schooled (*including my 15 year old high schooler), they must be constantly at the front of my agenda. As simple and obvious as that sounds, I prefer to refer back to it as a new revelation every day.

Looking unto the hills,
AP

How Arbitrary....

2007-02-07T00:30:00.001-05:00

I completed my "report card" today for my kids. It always surprises me how much we actually accomplish. Not that it's a huge amount, but that it does include many things I worry that we haven't covered. In the case of the second semester, we did a lot with government (the Constitution, State Government, Elections) and our travel the United States project taught the kids about map reading, budgeting for their trip (they had to plan a six state nationwide tour with hotel costs, two sight seeing excursions and the distance and mode of travel). Other than math, however, it was harder to make a grade for them that made sense to a public school world. After all, aside from the rubric method - which is also subjective - it is almost impossible to make distinctions between an "A" job and a "b" job. So we'll see.

We're moving on to pre - Revolutionary America - after the pilgrims. I'd like to reinforce the slave trade in all its respects, including how some African countries initially benefited until the Europeans used their influence to subjugate and destroy the economies of these once grand kingdoms. It's important to me that we as African Americans acknowledge that at one point, somebody earned something on our side as well, despite the obvious massive kidnappings and stealing of human beings. It reminds me that as a family of brothers and sisters we can never place riches above relationships, nor prosperity above people. Black history is full of bad decisions by both blacks and whites. The celebration perhaps should be called Black Heritage, because that speaks more of the spirit of the African American tradition, rather than overlooking the historical missteps we took in the 70's and 80's by trying to formalize our racial identity through victimization or glorification of the past at the expense of the present. The heritage of our forefathers was one of just as much individualism as collective will, and when we try to tie each individual accomplishment to a collective achievement, we run the risk of constantly reducing our advancement to a list of "firsts", followed by a total disregard of the more important second, third, or fourth. In fact, many tend to pay more attention to the "first" to achieve a certain goal, then to the collective accomplishment of many others that achieved similar goals later, but are reduced to have followed those who "paved the way". Are all roads exactly the same? Was each African American's trials and issues made smoother in the same way? Or did each overcome different, perhaps more importantly, non-racial conditions to achieve greatness? And if those conditions were not based on racial bias, or lessened by some other person's sacrifice, does that mean that the followers work was not as hard, or did not require similar, or perhaps greater internal sacrifice?

I realize the questions above are far-flung, but they are the kinds of questions I think face those of African American persuasion today. I find it similar to the biblical mandate that "the teacher is not above the student." Our collective accomplishment is fully realized when each man is honored on his own merit, not necessarily the merits of others who came before, even if those before faced similar or even greater outward oppresion. One can not be held in contempt for a world that is easier for him if he did not create that world. Gratitude for those who came before us should be a natural inclination, yes, and taught to our children, but not worshipped on an altar of racial piety. Even Jesus said, "greater things than these (works i've done) shall ye do." What greater works are we expecting of the next black generation? And what are we doing to encourage them that those works will be greater than Harriet Tubman, or Booker T., or DuBois? Unless we are careful not to deify the past, the future will always be a pale comparison.

Thanks for letting me ramble.... look unto the hills....
ap

Starting Over....

2007-01-30T22:46:00.000-05:00

Yes, this is my first post in two months - suffice it to say my new year's resolution did NOT include keeping last years commitment to two blogs a week. Not to say that the last month has been a pathway full of broken promises. I've actually been very blessed this first month of 2007, and although I haven't recounted the ways consistently throughout the month, the end of the month seems a good time to regroup.

January started with a fresh look at giving and sacrifice. This first month of 2007 my church (well, many of us within the church) gave a firstfruit offering of the first week of salary to God. Now, I have first fruited before, but this perhaps was the first time it was not an additional check, but part of our normal monthly budget. God has seen us through in our needs, but I'd be first to admit it has not been without issues. I don't think we can treat giving as a magic wand to prosperity - if that were the case, wouldn't there be tons of paperbacks in the bookstores purporting to "give your way to riches?" Just the fact that the bible promises to reward givers 'in due season' is a warning that the season of harvest may be far removed from the sowing. So trusting God in our finances was not an issue of how soon He returns the investment, it's how much to we trust Him in the interim. And I'm working on removing the doubt from my thought process and trusting him more.

Not only did we first fruit, but we hosted four Bible studies in our home. This was a great thing for us, not only because the kids' friends were over every weekend - they were in heaven - but because we have always wanted our home to be a sanctuary of rest, and while it is still a bit far away for us, it has become a rest for other families and friends of ours. I can truly say people enjoy spending time with us, which is gratifying. It's good to know you can open your doors and have brothers and sisters feel welcome. And of course my wife works out her cooking addiction on the weekends, much to the pleasure of our teenage / young adult visitors (Mr. Robert, that means you and your 3 heaping plates!)

Finally on the homeschool front, my kids have enjoyed a bit of a break, although I've been working them on the early American history curriculum written by my cousin (thanks, Belinda!) and reviewing more of their grammar/writing, which we fell off of a bit in the fall. My church youth board is having a field trip for students with a's and b's - now if I assign a particular grade, am I disregarding my opinion that grades are artificially measuring many areas in which kids are not ready for formal assessment? I'm not sure, but I don't want them ostracized because they aren't receiving the normal public school grades. I'll have to find a way to compromise the conditions without compromising my principles.

We'll talk more next time, 'til then remember:
Proverbs 10:22 The Blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and He adds no sorrow to it.

Look unto the hills...

Not much to say...

2006-12-03T01:13:00.000-05:00

I'm glad an uneventual week just passed. Not that it wasn't busy, but that there were no unexpected crazy issues. It's probably the let-down after a holiday weekend that makes the familiar more appealing. Once the holiday is over, we can refocus on the things we are supposed to be thankful for everyday - a steady job, a healthy family, etc. Of course, it's hard to refocus around this time of year.

I've noticed that I've been speaking to some young men, guys in college, seniors in high school. It's interesting to see how they view the world. I'm seeing more of a freedom in their attitudes, a non-conformist streak that seems to strike against the good job, two kids and a house mythology. When I was in school, I felt similar feelings about not being 'trapped' into simply taking a job to make money, but it took much longer for me to solidify my philosophy about approaching life. I hope this generation doesn't waste the opportunity to define their own destinies by simply looking for the safe or familar. It's good to look to the wisdom of our forefathers, but not to be defined by the achievements, or even the attitudes, that preceded us. If Jesus could say, "greater works than these shall ye do", He must have meant that what He placed in us was capable of more than we witnessed in the past. It is a self reproducing, eternal drive to be more of what is in us than what we were. Our destinies are defined by our intensity, not our history.

More news on the latest homeschool projects soon. Looking unto the hills....
AP

Things to give thanks for....

2006-11-26T01:40:00.000-05:00

1. That God would love me.
2. That I have a family to love.
3. That my wife still thinks that "yes" was the right answer.
4. That kids are the ulimate lesson in forgiving and being forgiven.
5. That my car doesn't have to be in perfect condition to get me around.
6. That money isn't everything.
7. That being late isn't always the end - sometimes showing up is a victory in itself.
8. That no one has ever died from a dirty house.
9. That some people actually think my silly jokes are funny.
10. That my real friends are real friends.
11. That in my lowest point, I am still better off than 99% of the people in the world who are hungry, homeless, or hopeless.
12. That I am in a position to help the hungry, homeless, and hopeless.
13. That because music is part of heaven, I will never be unemployed.
14. That sometimes a clean t-shirt and jeans is a blessing from above.
15. That family is family - no matter what.
16. That it does all work out for my good.
17. That I know who to thank on thanksgiving.
18. That He loves me.
19. That I know I can't complete this list.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and remember from whence cometh your help.

AP

Keeping Promises

2006-11-04T21:51:00.000-05:00

Tonight is a night that I really don't want to remember what I promised to myself and others. One of those promises involves my writing at this very moment. As part of my weekly planning, I decided to be more consistent with my blogging by writing two times a week. Of course, this turned into a long, busy week where I was tempted to put that off. But it's important to me that I begin to act on my personal committments. Keeping a promise to myself helps remind me that without internal integrity, I can't practice external integrity with others.

I also have to keep my promise to my kids. As things become more hectic, it becomes really hard to remember to plan, to keep active and ahead of the kids' learning curve. But my promise to them is to provide the best education possible, even when it's inconvenient for me to do so. I understand that many of the teachable moments of a day are outside of a particular plan or lesson, but it's also important to maintain a steady program of planning and study, even for a outschooler like me. (My own made up term - not quite unschooling, but certainly not "in" school or totally structured lessons either). In the long run, it's probably more pressure on myself, but I feel my kids will only pick up the concept of discipline if I exhibit it myself, even in the educational choices I make (or maybe more, because of those choices.)

I've tried the website a couple more times using a shorter address - if you're looking for my pictures or updates. They can be found at www.web.mac.com/allenpaul/iweb/site.

Now it's time to get some sleep - something else I have to be disciplined in....
Look unto the hills,

AP

Stranger than Fiction...you heard it here first!

2006-11-02T00:15:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone...just when I thought I was the only one with a voice in my head...

that's right, I wrote a post about the 'internal narrator' a few weeks ago. Now, a movie comes out with almost the exact premise that I described. Maybe I should be writing for Hollywood instead. (Naw...)

The movie stars Will Ferrell, who hears a female voice overdubbed over his everyday life. I suppose the movie "Click" hinted at the same idea when Adam Sandler hears James Earl Jones on his "commentary" track. What I think is so ironic is that these movies seem to play on our own desire to have significance through the impressions or the view of others. It's almost as if the television "commentary" has become institutionalized in our culture. Every action, every opinion is run through the filter of mass media,
cultural sensitivity, and populariy considerations. I wonder (or maybe I should ask) if the older generations find this kind of constant rehashing and reworking of everyday
issues a little silly. After all, how did we view everyday life before TV, before radio, before the "voices" of others became real voices and not simply imagination or literary devices? Most importantly, when did the "still small voice" of the Spirit start having to compete with the loud voices of our TV commentaries? I feel all of us have to differentiate between that voice of the commentator and listen to the quieter voice that speaks like, as Lincoln states, "the better angels of our nature."

Look unto the hills,

AP

Family First...making it work....

2006-10-30T05:16:00.000-05:00

Just returned from a wonderful weekend, if not tiring, with the family in Pensacola, FL,celebrating my father's 60th birthday. To surprise my dad is tough enough...to surprise him on a day where he surely was expecting something is amazing. We made the trek 10 hours up the highways of Florida (by the way, Florida voters, that 12 billion dollar bullet train sounds a lot better at 3 am on the turnpike, but I digress...) and managed to spend 'quality'
time with the aunts, uncles and family friends. My brother and sister are both closer to home,
which sometimes makes me feel out of the loop a little - I chose to live farther away, so I can't blame anyone but myself.

I don't want to gloss over how glad I was that we did make the trip. As I said, it does feel at times that distance makes family dynamics more remote. I'm not sure how other families handle it. In our case, we've always maintained a close relationship through the miles, but often it meant picking and choosing events and holidays that we could attend, depending on financial and other concerns. Of course, grandkids and grandparents always go together, and thankfully Marcus and Naomi have maintained good relationships with both grandparents. Now I know I have to help maintain the relationship with all our family members, no matter how far away - or close - they are.

BIG NEWS! I'm happy to present Marcus and Naomi's first podcast, which can be found on Itures (although the title didn't show up), and at their Mac page. Copy this link into your address - http://web.mac.com/allenpaul/iWeb/Site/M%26N%20-%202%20Homeschool%20Students/M%26N%20-
%202%20Homeschool%20Students.html

Thanks for all of your support, everyone...Look to the hills...
AP

How much is too much? (The Tiger Woods Syndrome)

2006-10-13T22:44:00.000-04:00

Yes, it's been a while, but it's also been hectic. We are now safely on the other side of Marcus' opera performance, which was covered by the Miami Herald. A picture of the opera scene appeared in the Herald, but you can only see Marcus' foot under a cart prop - but you can be sure Marcus is as proud of that as if he had been on the marquee. The situtation around Marcus' performance has raised some interesting questions, however.

One immediate issue that has arisen is how much sacrifice should a family give for one child's activities. Marcus' rehearsals often required us to leave places early, to give up a few dinners at home for a McDonalds binge - which of course the kids loved - and required late nights picking him up from the theater at 10pm. Because it's one week only this time (Carmen last year was a marathon of nearly 6 weeks), it may have been no big deal, but it showed how fragile our routine is when it comes to great opportunities. At what point does the obvious talent of our children begin to supercede the need for structure and predictability for the other children? It's a balancing act we're still working on.

Also, I find myself - ever so subtlely - bragging on Marcus' accomplishment. At one doctor's appt. with my oldest son, Chris, I began talking about Marcus and the opera, at which point the doctor asked Chris how he got into the opera. Chris hardly noticed the error, but I felt bad that at the time I neglected to present Christopher's talents as an artist and musician - only because he's not currently in a major production or concert. Was that my pride in living through my kids surfacing? I've always been careful not to be the parent getting more out of my children's experiences then they do. But as my children eclipse my abilities and experiences, it becomes harder not to try to imagine what it would have been like if I have done such things in my childhood. It is a constant temptation to frame reality in my own terms, like a replayed movie with new actors.

Finally, the child himself. Marcus has loved the experience of singing on stage with orchestras, meeting professional musicians, and mostly relaxing backstage and playing cards with the "opera moms". But he also showed signs of fatigue and stress after three
straight late night rehearsals, and he's mentioned giving up choir to play youth football, which would involve daily practices (not to mention the fact that his mother loathes the idea). I'm all for athletics, but at the expense of a child's natural gift being neglected? That's a harder question. I've always been a proponent of letting children explore whatever interests are in their heart, but it's hard when you see incredible potential in a child and know he /she may never know what they could have had if they waited just a little longer, given a talent time until they developed a love for it. Have I exhibited characteristics of the classic "star" parent? After all , Tiger Woods' father is now idolized for his singular focus on his son's golf career - but for every Tiger Woods, there are a thousand Jennifer Capriatis. I believe it's the constant checks and balances of knowing my son's spirit, his inner drive to be what God created him to be, and to gently steer him toward the gifts that will 'eventually' make him the happiest, and allow him to explore everything else in an environment of unconditional support. How to do this in reality is beyond me -if I figure it out, please buy my book.

Here's to avoiding the Jacob / Esau rivalry. I'm gonna try to let my kids be what God wants them to be, so I don't make them just what I want them to be. Look to the hills from whence cometh your help.....

AP

Thanks for reading...

2006-10-03T02:12:00.000-04:00

I'm truly stunned. It takes a lot to leave me speechless, but I honestly am totally surprised that people have actually ... (swallowing hard).... READ this blog. It is amazing to me that even in the innocence of typing and placing thoughts on an obviously public forum, that the idea of others sharing and commenting on my ramblings remains frightening. This does give me alot of faith in the power of information, however. Perhaps the greatest fear of writers around the world with the genesis of the internet was the demise of the book. However, it seems that the opposite is true - never has the printed word had more immediate impact and accessibility, whether on printed page, web page, or read aloud via podcast or video link. It is this democratization of information that has formed my opinion that this is the best time to be yourself - because in an increasingly brand - concsious and commerce driven world, the one thing that is truly unique is you - your thoughts, expressions and outlook on life. It is with that ideal that I welcome any other vistors to share with me and post your comments and ideas. It's the tendrils of the web of human connectedness that makes the entire structure stand up. One cord - my cord - is inconsequential by itself.

In the world of Pauldom, Marcus is preparing to sing in the premiere of La Bohemme in the new Miami Performing Arts Center. For my son to be singing in not one, but two operas in the same year (Carmen was in May), is one of those things that you just don't see coming when you sign up for homeschooling. It would be easy to say that he still would have had the chance to participate had he not been a homeschooler, but that is a big leap. Most likely I would have been scared off by the scheduling and travel issues and not even had him try out in the first place. Perhaps it's just me, but something about a 9 to 5 makes you a little conservative, a little more hestitant to take chances. Even as I say that, I know it's a gross generalization, but it's true in my case. Teaching in the classroom everyday and the kids being in the same classrooms just limited my vision somewhat. It does occur to me that should they return to 'four walls' schooling one day, that I can't limit that vision of their potential or suddenly decide to take them out of all these activities - however, the freedom of 'unschooling' is a constant reminder that opportunities to go another way, to take a different route, are available each and every day. I need that reminder so I don't get caught in the feathery bed of sameness, only to wake up after my kids have slipped into adulthood with nary a unexpected challenge.

It is late, so another post later may clarify my thoughts better. Looking unto the hills...

AP

Five Letter Words

2006-09-20T23:14:00.000-04:00

Doubt. What a little word with such a big body. It can literally swallow whole dreams and purposes, and it's not even more than five letters. Promise, imagination, dreams, potential all are bigger words, but if doubt gets its gander up, all those bigger words are powerless.

I talk about doubt because on days like today, where my whole morning was swallowed by crisis after crisis and the kids basically looked like zombies, doubt became the 800 pound gorilla slapping me around. I mean, how many kids are having uninterrupted learning while I fend off rumours and innuendos by phone over things I have no control over? Are my kids really benefitting from being around me as I fuss and fume over work? Is this the life they really desire, or do they just think they do, because they know it makes me happy?

Bigger, bigger, bigger grows the five letter word.

Then doubt's big bully cousin, logic, steps in. It would make more sense, he says, to simply send them to school. You'll still participate in their lives, right? It's not like you'll never work with them on educational things. And it's the 'quality time' that counts. Logic is a little more subtle than doubt but just as paralyzing, because he uses the words that others use. Doubt uses your own words against you. Either one is a bear, but together they make a horrendous tag team of trepidation and uncertainty. What's worse, they don't give you solutions as much as an espace hatch that you don't entirely trust as well. Wasn't that door the same one you came in from? Isn't it the way back from the problems that led you to this place? How come the escape hatch always looks familiar? I've never seen logic lead me to a new conclusion. It's always moving toward a rusty, but tried and true door that creaks as it opens and flakes off in your hand, leaving paint flecks from the slamming of the door over and over as you left and returned again and again.

Then there's faith.

Another five letters. Same size, same propensity to look smaller than it really is. Doubt doesn't tell you about itself - neither does faith. Both wait for the circumstances to arise before it starts to speak. But while doubt speaks to what you say to yourself, and logic says what others say, faith says what you haven't heard yet. And that's why faith always seems unfamiliar - he has a new voice, an unfamiliar voice like that of a new bird song in your backyard. You hear it, but it's so new that you either think you've misheard the same bird as before, or that it's simply passing through. You don't expect it to nest. But there it is again, the same new song, chirping loudly and so clearly that to ignore it takes effort. It never infringes, only invites. Doubt knocks loudly, Logic kicks down the door and sits in your favorite chair. Faith waits on the outside, but has the key to a whole new house, and simply wants you to come visit. Faith knows you won't understand if he shows you pictures or uses your own descriptions. It's not adequate.

Hebrews 11:1-2. I know it says it better. But now I just want to remember that I'm naturally going to hear from each five letter word, and one is pretty worried, and one is pretty insistent, and one is quitely confident. My children are asleep now, and not one of them is worried about tomorrow - about a test, or a meal, or a bully, or a mean teacher. They are trusting that tomorrow is going to be another great rollercoaster day. The letters T-R-U-S-T are standing beside me, and they are beginning to show a barely visible smile.

AP

The Internal Narration

2006-09-06T01:29:00.000-04:00

We all have one. That voice on the inside that details the inner workings of your
mind like an incessant sportscaster intent on pointing out every obvious point of the game
("it's going to come down to the final play..." 'nooooo, really?').
I'm hearing that voice even today, and I'm actually grateful for it in a way.
The narrator of my mind is pointing out my inconsistency today - how I badger my teen about going to bed when I'm staying up myself -
how I am trying to create a piano curriculum for my piano students while divorcing my younger
kids from any overt educational structure, that sort of thing.
And yet I'm glad I have an inner critic / commentator. It reminds me that I'm not just of one
mind,barrelling down the same road out of ignorance or pride. It reminds me that I do have
choices, and just because I ignore the voice one day does not mean
I will be out of touch with it the next. Please understand that I'm not referring to the voice
of the Spirit, which I know I must listen to as a Christian. It's that more human side of reflection that I know is
just a revelation that I'm more than the sum of my actions - I have a will, and it's being shaped daily and re-shaped daily. It's simply the discipline of watching my will match His will, and then enjoying the process.

On the homeschool front I'm still researching language arts resources, esp. handwriting and 'basal' type lessons. It seems that the Charlotte Mason approach, with its reliance on pure production (dictation, narration, copywork, etc.) suits my feeling that I don't want my kids creating what they've never seen. If you can't read or copy a great paragraph, how can you create one? Even so, I'm still trying to keep the creative side flowing, as I want them to continue to create literature examples (I love the book Poetry Speaks to Children - which I just checked out from the library.) and to continue to look to share knowledge as soon as they learn it. I am still convinced that the transfer of knowledge from one form to another and then from one person to another is the key to the retention of the knowledge itself. (Long words meaning, if you can teach it, you've learned it.)

As I mentioned, an hour long trip to the library has netted me more insights into my kids interests. While I do steer them on the way to more 'structured' work, my gut feeling is still to adapt my lessons to their interest, rather than the other way around. This interest directed learning is way harder on the planning, but the satisifaction my kids have with their learning choices is hard to argue with. As I discussed with my wife our educational philosophy, that idea of 'when they are interested' kept popping up. Should we push them into a subject because the 'grade level' is usually the determining factor? If so, shouldn't all kids walk by 9 months, or talk by 20? When does the learning process become so predictable? I hold that it never does, and that is why public schools will continue to be hit and miss. Hit with the kids that are ready, and miss the kids that aren't.

Lastly, I just finished the audiobook 'Clemente' by David Maraniss(sp). What a great person and character Roberto Clemente was - an individual. My inner voice is comparing us - would I ever be so great as to be revered as a great baseball hero and cultural icon? If I am faithful over what God has placed in my hands - my children, my wife, my ministry - then I believe that I am in the same league as a Clemente - passionate and uncompromising about what is important to me. My inner voice says that's a good enough goal for a dad. Not to be a sports icon or social her0 - but to be a good husband and father. That's a home run for me any day. Here's to more pitches to hit tomorrow. God bless you and keep your eyes to the hills from whence comes your help.

AP

Ernesto Who?

2006-08-31T00:36:00.000-04:00

Wow. Imagine being grateful for a tropical storm. In the past two days we have had non stop coverage about Katrina' s one year anniversary, and meanwhile my family has had essentially a weekend within the week of relaxation due to all the Tropical Storm Ernesto closings. My wife and I actually built the drawers to the boys' remodeling project that was supposed to be done by summer's end, and the kids got to try out their podcasting skills without the hustle of getting to tutoring on time. In all, it's another proof that God blesses us in weird ways sometimes.

Of course, I didn't really rest. Not R-E-S-T, the kind that you have to shake yourself out of in order to start going again. This may seem a continual refrain for me. It's a constant struggle not to try to fill every single day with every single project and complete it. So today I did make a consicous effort not to neglect the kids. I sat with my wife and Naomi as they cleaned her room - which is always a two person project at least - and helped get my oldest son on the wireless internet, which always adds cool points for being the techno wizard of the house. It doesn't take a whole lot - though I of course can do more - but it is a refreshing feeling to know that I was not just a drill sargent today barking orders and stealing the fun out of an unexpected vacation day. Besides, so much work awaits me on the other side of unexpected rest that I know I better take advantage of it next time, because the next storm may be a long way off - or next week. In Florida you never know.

I have to include a podcast update. I think the kids and I are going to separate our shows. They want a more kid friendly show, while I really want to include some tips for dads and parents. So...we'll try both. My podcast is waiting on some more info about structure - the kids are compiling information using a template from Radio Willowweb - shout out to you guys too. Seems like last year I had no web presence at all - now I have 4 sites to keep up with. Go figure.

Smiles and Blessings and look to the hills from whence cometh your help (Psalm 121).

AP

Late night reflections...

2006-08-27T01:15:00.000-04:00

It's about 1:10 am and I can't sleep. Not out of anxiety, although I am concerned about our Sunday services this morning - I'm still without a song for our offering time, and the dancers sprung a new song on me at the last minute. My Ipod and new Bose headphones are probably contributing to my insomnia. Today was a good day, so it's not the feeling of incompleteness. I'm actually feeling quite grateful. A great dinner with the kids and wife (hot dogs and chips - can't get much easier clean up than that), and home movies of the kids 5 years ago remind me how wonderful it is to be free of devestating tragedies, things that can stop you dead in your tracks. Everyday that is free of such things is a day to be grateful to God.

As far as our homeschooling goes, we're easing into the year. My most exciting idea is our podcast - appropriately named "homeschooldaddy' like this blog. In this I think the kids will find a voice for all the learning they will be doing. The idea is that all learning is useless unless it is shared in some form - either by teaching, inventing, creating, or some other form of sharing. I know there are hundreds of thousands of podcasts now, but I also feel like there's a uniqueness in the experience of day - to - day homeschooling that is hard to catch in a more 'acedemic' setting. I hope to avoid the jargon and let the kids create a show that will be accessible to both adults and kids. (Big shout out to "Homeschool Habitat" - I miss you guys - and I hope to produce a show as well thought out as yours was.)
I'm still searching out a curriculum for language arts - I want Naomi and Marcus to have a better handle on the mechanics of language, even as their creative skills increase and are better utilized. Marcus is so creative with his stories, but I'm looking at him writing more non - fiction and reporting style articles this year. Naomi is always nervous about creative writing. She's the one that follows her brother's lead, but wants to find her own voice. With a better understanding of language, I hope she'll feel more comfortable with expressing herself in her own way.
That's enough for tonite - bet this becomes my nightly ritual. Helps to center my mind on what's already on my mind - make sense?

Still working on it..

2006-06-30T07:19:00.000-04:00

Yes, right now it seems that Homeschooldaddy is waiting on the kids to return. Thank goodness we're going to get them from their grandparents tomorrow. They should have lots to share about their summer - visiting San Francisco, etc. Of course I have not prepared at all for this school year. No time like the present, I guess. Now that I have a MacBook Pro, it should be easier to post from any location. The Podcast looks like a go pretty soon as well. What's important is that I find a way to put thoughts into action, which I think is the most important part about homeschooling anyway - to shorten the distance between need and meeting the need, between seeing the growth of your kids and participating in the process before it's over.

Does summer have an express button?

2006-06-30T01:32:00.000-04:00

It's June 26, I am barely hanging on here, and the children that are normally driving me to that end are off in Pensacola, FL, having an extraordinary time with grandparents. Summer would seem to be a time of rest and reflection, of enjoying the break away from the kids. But it's probably the most pressure packed time of the year. This is the time where I try to pack 10 household and home office projects in 6 weeks, as if I'll never have another chance to file tax returns from 2003 or really scrub the bathroom tile. I know in my heart that all of these projects can be organized into our daily routine, but I still put myself under unrealistic deadlines. My only advice would be to realize that summer doesn't not have to be a major change, just a time to re-balance and re-focus on those things that were neglected in the school year. It's not necessary to do everything you missed from August to June, esp. if you learn to keep doing summer things all year around.

Welcome to Homeschool Daddy!

2006-04-28T16:33:00.000-04:00

Here's our first attempt at blogging. Marcus, Naomi and I are looking forward to sharing information with other homeschoolers and dads (and moms) around the country. Hope to hear from you and share stories soon...

A quick bio - I, (Allen) am a 32 yr. old African American musician and teacher, currently serving as a Minister of Music in my church here in Miami. I also homeschool my two younger children, Marcus,9, and Naomi,8, along with my wife Miki. She works full-time at our church. My oldest son, Christopher, 14, will attend a magnet high school next year. I've taught in public schools as an elementary music teacher 8 years before leaving to homeschool in 2005.

There are many things in which I realize I am in the minority - male elementary teacher, male homeschooler, etc. - but I know there are others and I want to share any thoughts that might benefit you in your quest to educate your family - not just in home-school, but in family life lessons. That's the way we approach it, and if we're not perfect, that just means we have a chance of getting better. See you soon...