It's hard to return, but harder to stay away.
So much has transpired in the last few weeks, so it's best that I start with what's fresh, which is our family reunion experience in Atlanta. Just a weekend with 300 of my closest friends. I must admit I was a bit apprehensive as the trip neared at the beginning of August. After all, I remember very few of my relatives, and my last family reunion trip was more a blur than a memorable event. So, Miki, Christopher and I packed up and headed to Atlanta (which was a feat in itself considering our car's radiator died hours before leaving, forcing us into a rental van), and rehearsed the phrases we felt would protect us...
"I'm Laverna Johnson's first grandson..."
"I'm Reita's daughter in law...
"We're on the Williams side"...
Anything to remind our relatives that we really belonged.
Upon arrival, our first sight was the giddy faces of Marcus and Naomi, freshly spoiled by my parents - the new video game hasn't arrived yet, but I'm sure the kids will remind them to ship it - and hugs all around for my parents, my sister and niece, and my aunts that had arrived. We then found ourselves in the hotel ballroom with about 100 of the first arrivals, where we met up with the family choir and my cousin Marilyn, who was directing traffic for me music wise. Of course I had to play - it was my ticket into good graces with the family for missing so many reunions. (Just kidding.)
I could talk more about the goings on - the picnic, the dance where my parents and (gasp) my wife and I danced while grandkids and kids gawked and gagged at the sight of romantic adults (how do they think they got here?), the bickering of the family business meeting, or other memories. But most of all I was filled with a sense of belonging, of once again knowing I have roots in something larger, bigger, and more expansive than my little life here in Miami.
Confession.
These posts became scarce as I began considering big changes in our family life and lifestyle, and I began to fear writing. Mostly because this became a safe place to air my feelings and frustrations, I was terrified that when thinking of change and opening myself to the possibilities publicly on paper, I would lose that sense of honesty in trying to protect my readers (and myself) from the sense of uncertainty that such a reflection would bring. But with a few sermons and a reflection period, I realize that without such a opening to new horizons, there could be no real benefit in being reconnected. How could I have such a strong foundation, a family stretching 6 generations, and not at least give the next generation an example of fortitude in the face of change and challenge? My ancestors do not loom large as intimidators, but as
examples of how far life can take you even when you don't realize it at the time.
Knowing I'm at one of those points - where my present is as tenuous and tender as my future - gives me even more reason to hang on to the foundations of my past. To know that my city of residence, my career, or my current calling don't change what made me what I am now, and changing any of those first conditions will not change the root of who I will be. It is all based on the connections already made in my faith and my family that ensure that my success will be permanent even if my circumstances change.
I'll have much more info on the reunion, not that I got the heavy stuff out. I'll attach pictures soon.
Looking unto the hills,
homeschoooldaddy
Monday, August 04, 2008
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Thoughts on the 4th.....
Well, it's been a while since I've checked in, and summer has rolled on in some expected ways, and transformed in some unexpected ways.
Since I've written, the younger 2 kids went off to Pensacola to spend summer with the grandparents (my parents), which turned our normally boisterous household of 3 children into a one-teenager family overnight. Raising a 16 year old is tricky enough, but without his brother and sister to drive him crazy (as he sees it), my wife and I have found new ways to interact with him. He's more engaging, perhaps because there's no pressure to stay within the confines of the older brother role. Of course, it may also be the fact that he's now 16 and realizing it. I'm sure that if he was confident in his driving and had found a job, he would try renting out an apartment, 'cause that's basically what his room has become. We see him every few hours, coming out from the screen heaven of TV and laptop. In fairness, he's been as helpful as ever, assisting us as Miki and I have pretended to move out ourselves in repainting all our furniture. We've reverted to college life, living out of Rubbermaid rolling dressers and camping out with mattresses on the floor.
For the 4th of July, we took a trip up to West Palm to visit Miki's mom. For a mover and shaker such as myself, the free time is both blessing and burden. Blessing in that we had time away from the bustle of ministry, but burden in learning to enjoy that time. It seems my biggest struggle is learning to relax, which of course means my wife can't relax either. She is always trying to make me comfortable, and I feel guilty for that as well. It's tough to let go of the super - plan mode that our daily life requires.
As for the night of franks and fireworks, it did seem a little disappointing. Without a big family gathering, we improvised our way to the display in downtown West Palm Beach. We didn't count on traffic though, so we ended up watching from the top of a parking garage behind another building that kind of blocked our view. The bangs and booms did bring the requisite oohs and aahs, and I couldn't help thinking of how Americans are continuously defined by what is bigger, louder, or showier. Even in this time of readjusting attitudes on our economy (how many Hummers have been sold lately?), we still want the newest and best auto, the biggest flat screen, and we find great joy in firing thousands of pounds of colored gunpowder into the air in order to say, "Look at us, we're the greatest country on earth!" How ironic is it that our national celebration is capped off with a Chinese invention?
Forgive the sarcasm, but it is my feeling that more of our self - image must be based on our internal meaning, not on our external traditions or fall-back illusions of grandeur. A new President does not define us; neither a political party, nor a cause or a case for some law or judgment. What defines this country is the definition of an individual -
"having a striking or unusual character; original".
Our country is based on the dichotomy of individuals that affirm each other's individuality, while declaring their united understanding of the same as the essential right and responsibility of each to uphold and maintain. And whether you equate the ideals that spawned such a sentiment with the Magna Carta, the deistic leanings of Founding Fathers, or the direct influence of God, no one can replace them with any slogan or flag pin. The true celebration of our independence is in the everyday exercise of "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Love is what love does, and patriotism is what patriotism does. It sacrifices self for others, family, faith, and country. It realizes the country is better when I am better, not when others make it better. It refuses to place its future in other hands, but takes up the mantle and works until its future is squarely in his. Mostly, it realizes that one's citizenship is a gift, a blessing, and that in another reality we all could have been born into a worse situation, or not been able to escape one by emigrating to this country. Therefore, it constantly lives to repay the gift by being a blessing back to the land that gives it sanctuary and substance.
Happy birthday, USA.
Looking unto the hills,
HomeSchoolDaddy
Since I've written, the younger 2 kids went off to Pensacola to spend summer with the grandparents (my parents), which turned our normally boisterous household of 3 children into a one-teenager family overnight. Raising a 16 year old is tricky enough, but without his brother and sister to drive him crazy (as he sees it), my wife and I have found new ways to interact with him. He's more engaging, perhaps because there's no pressure to stay within the confines of the older brother role. Of course, it may also be the fact that he's now 16 and realizing it. I'm sure that if he was confident in his driving and had found a job, he would try renting out an apartment, 'cause that's basically what his room has become. We see him every few hours, coming out from the screen heaven of TV and laptop. In fairness, he's been as helpful as ever, assisting us as Miki and I have pretended to move out ourselves in repainting all our furniture. We've reverted to college life, living out of Rubbermaid rolling dressers and camping out with mattresses on the floor.
For the 4th of July, we took a trip up to West Palm to visit Miki's mom. For a mover and shaker such as myself, the free time is both blessing and burden. Blessing in that we had time away from the bustle of ministry, but burden in learning to enjoy that time. It seems my biggest struggle is learning to relax, which of course means my wife can't relax either. She is always trying to make me comfortable, and I feel guilty for that as well. It's tough to let go of the super - plan mode that our daily life requires.
As for the night of franks and fireworks, it did seem a little disappointing. Without a big family gathering, we improvised our way to the display in downtown West Palm Beach. We didn't count on traffic though, so we ended up watching from the top of a parking garage behind another building that kind of blocked our view. The bangs and booms did bring the requisite oohs and aahs, and I couldn't help thinking of how Americans are continuously defined by what is bigger, louder, or showier. Even in this time of readjusting attitudes on our economy (how many Hummers have been sold lately?), we still want the newest and best auto, the biggest flat screen, and we find great joy in firing thousands of pounds of colored gunpowder into the air in order to say, "Look at us, we're the greatest country on earth!" How ironic is it that our national celebration is capped off with a Chinese invention?
Forgive the sarcasm, but it is my feeling that more of our self - image must be based on our internal meaning, not on our external traditions or fall-back illusions of grandeur. A new President does not define us; neither a political party, nor a cause or a case for some law or judgment. What defines this country is the definition of an individual -
"having a striking or unusual character; original".
Our country is based on the dichotomy of individuals that affirm each other's individuality, while declaring their united understanding of the same as the essential right and responsibility of each to uphold and maintain. And whether you equate the ideals that spawned such a sentiment with the Magna Carta, the deistic leanings of Founding Fathers, or the direct influence of God, no one can replace them with any slogan or flag pin. The true celebration of our independence is in the everyday exercise of "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Love is what love does, and patriotism is what patriotism does. It sacrifices self for others, family, faith, and country. It realizes the country is better when I am better, not when others make it better. It refuses to place its future in other hands, but takes up the mantle and works until its future is squarely in his. Mostly, it realizes that one's citizenship is a gift, a blessing, and that in another reality we all could have been born into a worse situation, or not been able to escape one by emigrating to this country. Therefore, it constantly lives to repay the gift by being a blessing back to the land that gives it sanctuary and substance.
Happy birthday, USA.
Looking unto the hills,
HomeSchoolDaddy
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Summer has struck....
My great run of posts, like a blogging Ty Cobb or non-gambling Pete Rose, was broken by the onslaught of summer. It has taken a out-of-town doctor visit with Grandma to slow me down enough to take stock of the first two weeks of summer.
A few items to update -
Paul vs. Anti-Homeschool at Church, Inc. - I'm afraid this case has turned against my best hopes, although I've moderated my outrage a bit. After talking with our new HR director, it has become apparent that it was not Marcus and Naomi alone that were causing the fervor over children on campus. Several other employees of the church have had children on campus, and let's just say not all of them are teacher's pets. It seems that my kids are victims of the 'if not all, then none' rule of fairness. In other words, even though my kids are well behaved and welcome on campus, I have to abide by the rules set for all employees.
Now for my real, unreasoned feelings.
Now I, the well-intentioned, hard working, doing the best for his kids father, am forced to find child care so that my kids won't have to stay in church.
Let that sink in.
Imagine Samuel, instead of being raised in the temple, being sent to Happy Hebrews Kinder -Kare.
David, instead of playing harp for the king, playing a beat up french horn in the middle school orchestra.
Jesus, at 12 years old, turning to his parents after teaching the elders in the temple, and saying, "You found Me! Thank G0d, (I mean thank me), now I can get back to the
Boys Club?"
My point remains that my productivity did not decrease while my kids were on campus, and their lives were richer and more connected to people of faith. I can't see the negatives anywhere. But as a team player, I know it's more important at this point to maintain our fragile workplace community than to raise sand over the ignorant comments made about homeschooling. Yes, it will cost more to have someone watch them during Mondays and Tuesdays, but my goal will continue to be to reach a point where I will not have to choose between work and family, but that the two become synonymous and synchronous.
- Curriculum vs. unschooling - not exactly a true summary, but we are closer to putting Naomi in either a virtual academy or another type of structured curriculum. We aren't worried about her development, but it's clear of the two, Marcus is the self starter. We've convinced him to keep up the Virtual class in science, and we did his first lab while at Grandma's in West Palm. Not fun having red food coloring all over us (and not on the onion that was supposed to reveal plant cells), but he was willing to keep working, so it's worth the effort. Both of them are also excited about Power - glide, the language program that Miki was raving about. The next two months gives us time to review the options while Marcus and Naomi gallivant about Pensacola.
- Chris vs. Brokeness - Ah, the teenage years, where the biggest crisis is whether my girlfriend calls and whether I can avoid looking like a dufus in front of my friends. Well, my oldest is with us farther into the summer than usual, which means Miki and I have uttered the time honored words that will stay with my son for years to come....
Get. A. Job.
Mind you, Christopher likes the concept of money, but he has not yet connected to the fact that ours is not his. Neither does he understand that once his is gone, there is no more unless you have a ..... what is that thing called?..... an income. In-come - money comes in! Wow! Not out - go, as in out of our pockets. So we sent him on the trail for applications in a dress shirt, slacks, and the fresh faced haircut that says, "I'm an industrious, willing individual! Of course you'd hire me!" To which fresh faced young man each manager smiled and gave Chris a website address where he could apply.
What?
No face to face interview? Not even a paper application for sweat and tears to drip upon as you try to remember your first grade teacher's phone number for that for - sure recommendation? (Ms. Ward always said I was her favorite...) Has the internet stolen every opportunity for face-to-face humiliation? 'Fraid so. It seems that even in the world of teen employment, lawn jobs and paper routes have been replaced by questionnaires asking my son if he sometimes disobeys for fun. I mean, really. What self respecting applicant is going to click the "I'm always a pain in the you know what" box?
Anyway, there will surely be more interesting info to come out of this summer - hope I survive the first month.
Looking unto the hills,
homeschooldaddy
A few items to update -
Paul vs. Anti-Homeschool at Church, Inc. - I'm afraid this case has turned against my best hopes, although I've moderated my outrage a bit. After talking with our new HR director, it has become apparent that it was not Marcus and Naomi alone that were causing the fervor over children on campus. Several other employees of the church have had children on campus, and let's just say not all of them are teacher's pets. It seems that my kids are victims of the 'if not all, then none' rule of fairness. In other words, even though my kids are well behaved and welcome on campus, I have to abide by the rules set for all employees.
Now for my real, unreasoned feelings.
Now I, the well-intentioned, hard working, doing the best for his kids father, am forced to find child care so that my kids won't have to stay in church.
Let that sink in.
Imagine Samuel, instead of being raised in the temple, being sent to Happy Hebrews Kinder -Kare.
David, instead of playing harp for the king, playing a beat up french horn in the middle school orchestra.
Jesus, at 12 years old, turning to his parents after teaching the elders in the temple, and saying, "You found Me! Thank G0d, (I mean thank me), now I can get back to the
Boys Club?"
My point remains that my productivity did not decrease while my kids were on campus, and their lives were richer and more connected to people of faith. I can't see the negatives anywhere. But as a team player, I know it's more important at this point to maintain our fragile workplace community than to raise sand over the ignorant comments made about homeschooling. Yes, it will cost more to have someone watch them during Mondays and Tuesdays, but my goal will continue to be to reach a point where I will not have to choose between work and family, but that the two become synonymous and synchronous.
- Curriculum vs. unschooling - not exactly a true summary, but we are closer to putting Naomi in either a virtual academy or another type of structured curriculum. We aren't worried about her development, but it's clear of the two, Marcus is the self starter. We've convinced him to keep up the Virtual class in science, and we did his first lab while at Grandma's in West Palm. Not fun having red food coloring all over us (and not on the onion that was supposed to reveal plant cells), but he was willing to keep working, so it's worth the effort. Both of them are also excited about Power - glide, the language program that Miki was raving about. The next two months gives us time to review the options while Marcus and Naomi gallivant about Pensacola.
- Chris vs. Brokeness - Ah, the teenage years, where the biggest crisis is whether my girlfriend calls and whether I can avoid looking like a dufus in front of my friends. Well, my oldest is with us farther into the summer than usual, which means Miki and I have uttered the time honored words that will stay with my son for years to come....
Get. A. Job.
Mind you, Christopher likes the concept of money, but he has not yet connected to the fact that ours is not his. Neither does he understand that once his is gone, there is no more unless you have a ..... what is that thing called?..... an income. In-come - money comes in! Wow! Not out - go, as in out of our pockets. So we sent him on the trail for applications in a dress shirt, slacks, and the fresh faced haircut that says, "I'm an industrious, willing individual! Of course you'd hire me!" To which fresh faced young man each manager smiled and gave Chris a website address where he could apply.
What?
No face to face interview? Not even a paper application for sweat and tears to drip upon as you try to remember your first grade teacher's phone number for that for - sure recommendation? (Ms. Ward always said I was her favorite...) Has the internet stolen every opportunity for face-to-face humiliation? 'Fraid so. It seems that even in the world of teen employment, lawn jobs and paper routes have been replaced by questionnaires asking my son if he sometimes disobeys for fun. I mean, really. What self respecting applicant is going to click the "I'm always a pain in the you know what" box?
Anyway, there will surely be more interesting info to come out of this summer - hope I survive the first month.
Looking unto the hills,
homeschooldaddy
Monday, June 02, 2008
Some More Resources
The day after my birthday reminds me quickly why there are no special names for the 30's. Everything as usual, back to work, hit the road running. I did feel pretty productive, and Marcus and Naomi made me feel good by continuing on their math and science lessons without being asked. Marcus is still reticent about continuing his Virtual School lessons throughout the summer, but he's realizing it makes no sense to start over just to maintain his image of a work-free summer. Naomi is pushing to finish her Math-u-See Delta (Division) for much of the same reason I pushed through Calculus in high school - because she wants nothing to do with it next year.
Some thoughts on other resources I'd discovered recently - these are not reviews because I haven't used the product, but if you're interested you might drop a line and tell me if you like the concept.
Dadlabs.com:
Not exactly the style I would use for my site - these guys like their beer - but I really like the content, varied information, and the overall relaxed attitude these guys take toward fathering. Includes video and audio podcasts, reviews, a dads forum, and several links for additional resources. Very cool.
Familyman.com -
A site I found at FPEA. This dad is an author, presenter, and another fighter of the good fight of fathers. I really like his e-mail newsletter - gives me encouragement on tough days. Check him out in my resources section.
Sorry it took longer to get this one out, you'll see why later...
Unto the hills,
homeschooldaddy
Some thoughts on other resources I'd discovered recently - these are not reviews because I haven't used the product, but if you're interested you might drop a line and tell me if you like the concept.
Dadlabs.com:
Not exactly the style I would use for my site - these guys like their beer - but I really like the content, varied information, and the overall relaxed attitude these guys take toward fathering. Includes video and audio podcasts, reviews, a dads forum, and several links for additional resources. Very cool.
Familyman.com -
A site I found at FPEA. This dad is an author, presenter, and another fighter of the good fight of fathers. I really like his e-mail newsletter - gives me encouragement on tough days. Check him out in my resources section.
Sorry it took longer to get this one out, you'll see why later...
Unto the hills,
homeschooldaddy
Sunday, June 01, 2008
34% done...Birthdays, Black Men and Boxing....
Yes, it's my birthday, and yes, I'm celebrating the way any fun-loving, still actively social middle age man would - by eating Kettle Cooked potato chips, drinking Kool-Aid and watching "The Fugitive" at 2:30 in the morning.
Life is good.
34% implies that I plan to live to 100 - which I think is a pretty good goal, and not a morbid one, since most don't make it to that milestone in health. I know I'm supposed to be nearing 40, which is the new 30, or something like that, and having some trepidation. I feel none of that. Just glad to have made it one year longer than Jesus did in His earthly time. Some may have wanted to crucify me before now and failed....and being a survivor is reward and gift enough.
Moving on, I just watched the debut of the mixed martial arts genre of fighting on CBS. For those not aware, Kimbo Slice is a homeless street fighter - turned - internet sensation, who now is considered the second coming of Mike Tyson. He is a hulk of a man, with a long bushy Middle Eastern type beard, a surprisingly soft spoken manner, but eyes and countenance of a caged animal when fighting. He barely beat the fellow he fought, a British man with more true fighting experience who used wrestling moves to tire out the older, brawling mauler from the streets of Miami. I was entranced and disgusted all at once. Yes, my son and I admired the fighting moves, the quick knockouts where the eyes of the opponent roll back and the knees turn to wet noodle. Of course, men of all times have been fighters - this is not a paean to non-violence or an attempt to de-cry the efforts of a man to use his one skill to escape poverty or to gain fame and notoriety. I've always admired Joe Louis, Ali, Sugar Ray Robinson, Roy Jones, Jr., and other great pugilists.
What I found disturbing was the image of a black man as beast, the way the camera almost "king konged" his chest and face, the screaming of fans praying for the big black man to beat down the big white man for their entertainment. I know we surely have progressed from the days of the Great White Hope and the image of a Joe Johnson as a threat to decent society back in the early days of boxing. But something is still ingrained in our culture when it comes to African Americans and our violent outbursts. Would Kimbo Slice be celebrated if he hadn't had the poverty stricken streets of Overtown to fall into fighting for money? I mean, take this fight from the TV and lights of Vegas to the school yard, and you have the Jena 6 or the LA riots on your hands. And isn't the world that tolerates the conditions of gang violence and glorification of "thug life" simply patting itself on the back when a Kimbo emerges as a "great story"? I mean, why does the commentator of the fight need to remind us that Mr. Slice had to find anywhere he could to relieve himself while he was homeless? Is that really necessary, or does it reinforce the point that we can't fathom that millions of people both in the US and else where live that transient life everyday?
Perhaps again, one example does not a movement make. But I hope Mr. Slice one day goes back to Overtown with his six figure boxing prizes, take off his gloves, and teaches a young black man to beat up the system that nearly claimed his own life - to become a champion over more than physical opponents, but over the mentality of "biggest boss", "flossing", and "stacks of cheddar". To be able to overcome the stereotype that makes you successful is true independent success.
Time to sleep my three hours before my official birthday - and I must take a minute to thank my parents for not giving up either three hours before my birth, or the 34 years hence. Hopefully I've not been a disappointment. :-) Thanks to all that have made my life so rich through their interaction with me. If I named you all, I would have to change the blog's name to "Long List Daddy". Much love to all of you nonetheless.
Looking unto the Hills,
homeschooldaddy
Life is good.
34% implies that I plan to live to 100 - which I think is a pretty good goal, and not a morbid one, since most don't make it to that milestone in health. I know I'm supposed to be nearing 40, which is the new 30, or something like that, and having some trepidation. I feel none of that. Just glad to have made it one year longer than Jesus did in His earthly time. Some may have wanted to crucify me before now and failed....and being a survivor is reward and gift enough.
Moving on, I just watched the debut of the mixed martial arts genre of fighting on CBS. For those not aware, Kimbo Slice is a homeless street fighter - turned - internet sensation, who now is considered the second coming of Mike Tyson. He is a hulk of a man, with a long bushy Middle Eastern type beard, a surprisingly soft spoken manner, but eyes and countenance of a caged animal when fighting. He barely beat the fellow he fought, a British man with more true fighting experience who used wrestling moves to tire out the older, brawling mauler from the streets of Miami. I was entranced and disgusted all at once. Yes, my son and I admired the fighting moves, the quick knockouts where the eyes of the opponent roll back and the knees turn to wet noodle. Of course, men of all times have been fighters - this is not a paean to non-violence or an attempt to de-cry the efforts of a man to use his one skill to escape poverty or to gain fame and notoriety. I've always admired Joe Louis, Ali, Sugar Ray Robinson, Roy Jones, Jr., and other great pugilists.
What I found disturbing was the image of a black man as beast, the way the camera almost "king konged" his chest and face, the screaming of fans praying for the big black man to beat down the big white man for their entertainment. I know we surely have progressed from the days of the Great White Hope and the image of a Joe Johnson as a threat to decent society back in the early days of boxing. But something is still ingrained in our culture when it comes to African Americans and our violent outbursts. Would Kimbo Slice be celebrated if he hadn't had the poverty stricken streets of Overtown to fall into fighting for money? I mean, take this fight from the TV and lights of Vegas to the school yard, and you have the Jena 6 or the LA riots on your hands. And isn't the world that tolerates the conditions of gang violence and glorification of "thug life" simply patting itself on the back when a Kimbo emerges as a "great story"? I mean, why does the commentator of the fight need to remind us that Mr. Slice had to find anywhere he could to relieve himself while he was homeless? Is that really necessary, or does it reinforce the point that we can't fathom that millions of people both in the US and else where live that transient life everyday?
Perhaps again, one example does not a movement make. But I hope Mr. Slice one day goes back to Overtown with his six figure boxing prizes, take off his gloves, and teaches a young black man to beat up the system that nearly claimed his own life - to become a champion over more than physical opponents, but over the mentality of "biggest boss", "flossing", and "stacks of cheddar". To be able to overcome the stereotype that makes you successful is true independent success.
Time to sleep my three hours before my official birthday - and I must take a minute to thank my parents for not giving up either three hours before my birth, or the 34 years hence. Hopefully I've not been a disappointment. :-) Thanks to all that have made my life so rich through their interaction with me. If I named you all, I would have to change the blog's name to "Long List Daddy". Much love to all of you nonetheless.
Looking unto the Hills,
homeschooldaddy
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