I've been inspired and maybe a bit chastised by reading some great homeschooling blogs as of late, including from Charlotte Mason experts and fatherhood proponents. Perhaps my last few entries have strayed from the purpose of detailing how this homeschooling dad makes it through the day.
I thought I might detail the basics of our family learning philosophy, as fragmented as it may be, to provide context to the examples of our curriculum and activity choices. There's no formula that I picked up in any one book or manuscript here; rather, it is the combination of all the learning and experience of the last three years that we have taken this journey. Here's the first and most important -
1) Knowledge and learning are gifts from God, and are to be used for His purposes.
There's no doubt in my mind that the Father is the source of all knowledge. Not only in the theological sense that He knows all, but in the practical sense that everything we think about had to have a source in someone else's mind. As babies our thoughts are formed and shaped by the environment and experiences of our parents or caretakers. We slowly come to a consciousness of our own conscious, but we never forget that it was formed and developed through contact with others. In the same way, our thoughts and ability to think was generated by the initial contact of the Creator, not by some leap of evolutionary biology. C.S. Lewis talks about this in the moral sense when he points out that without some source of the concept of "good", we would have no idea what constituted right behavior, except that which pleased us or made us feel a certain pleasurable way. But it is clear that even morally bankrupt people have some idea of a standard. No culture ever decided that being dishonest to your neighbor was a good thing, or that abandoning one's children is admirable. This standard wasn't simply developed in a vacuum, it was placed there by the Creator to remind us that we have a higher standard to reach to. As Romans states, "They are without excuse".
This impacts our family learning decisions in that I always consider how my educational choices impact my children's spiritual development. It may seem that only would affect science (creationism vs. evolution), but it has much wider impact. When choosing the language arts component, I noticed most traditional workbooks had a very liberal view of business - meaning, every time businesses were mentioned, the connotation was negative. That doesn't square with the scriptural principle that God grants us the wisdom to gain wealth. I didn't want my kids constantly reviewing a concept that was at its heart against the work ethic that Christians are to aspire to. Also, we have spent many days discussing how we should challenge ourselves to do better than the norm - even when we are ahead of our peers educationally. The question is not whether we are doing better than others, but whether we are learning and producing work "as unto the Lord" (Col 3:17). Since He is the one that gifted us with the ability to learn, isn't it His purpose and His approval that matters?
This is a very freeing concept in this day of testing and accountability. My daughter may not learn her time tables as fast as others, but in God's sight she is striving as mightly as Paul was 'toward the mark'. Marcus may be sometimes impatient with his ability to get every problem right, but in God's sight his mind is "fearfully and wonderfully made." It reminds me every day that it is not my approval either that counts. When God is the source and the standard of our learning, all of my efforts become secondary when viewed in light of the superior teaching ability of the Holy Spirit to guide them. When I remember to always trust His plans and His purposes in my children, I can rest in the fact that He that began the work will complete it. Whatever their eventual career choice, I will know that their education was designed to give God the freedom to take them anywhere He feels they will glorify Him the most.
When viewing family learning in this light, the final exam is not the test at the end of the book, nor even the SAT or the MCAT. It is the test from the parable of the talents, in which those that did the most with what the Master gave them heard the words, "Servant, well done." That is the statement that will determine whether I was successful in my homeschooling efforts, and of course, it is one that I pray and trust my children will aspire to and one day hear for themselves.
To be continued,
Looking unto the hills,
Homeschooldaddy
Showing posts with label Activities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Activities. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
A Perfectionist Perspective
How easy life would be if we could truthfully believe what we want to believe about ourselves.
I would love to believe that I'm never motivated by selfish concerns. Would be enthralled by a sense of purpose and clarity in all my actions, coming from a heart of gold and a spiritual mindset.
If only.
Truth is, it's dreadfully easy to fool yourself. P.T. Barnum said "There's a sucker born every minute", but he could have been referring to each of us as suckers for self-deception. When you think you're free of pride, or of making decisions to boost your own self worth rather than others, that's when reality steps in and shows you that you're prone to the same issues that the preening pop star or the pompous politician wrestle with. Not only that, it's tiring sometimes to keep evaluating yourself. Paul implied in Corinthians that he did not even judge himself, and perhaps that's why he had so much energy and focus on God - because judging yourself is a time and emotion consuming enterprise.
So to put practical meat on this metaphysical bone of an introduction, I'm again dealing with a situation where I felt my desires weren't met. (Yes, it's a church thing, as usual) Our services today were at a high school auditorium. Now, as I should, I'll list the successes of the morning: 1300 in attendance, numerous re-dedications and conversions to Christ, a beautiful display of dance, mime, and musical worship, and a dynamic Word from our Pastor. And what did I come away with?
Yep, perfectionist that I am, the negatives overshadowed it. As someone who does programs every week, I should expect the unexpected. But still, when the sound wasn't working, when the offering was shifted without my knowledge, when the song didn't last long enough for offering and we had to pull out an unrehearsed number, and especially when my family ended up walking (Walking!) from the auditorium because I had to break down the equipment and take it back at the church (no room for family in the SUV when it's full of drums and keyboards), well, I didn't feel very spiritual afterward.
So am I selfish?
Where does the line between disappointment and ungratefulness fall? The book I'm currently reading, "The Heart of the Artist", says perfectionist thinking leads to an all good or all bad type of analysis. Either we're on the mountaintop or in the valley. Emotionally, I think Jeremiah and Elijah, maybe even Jonah were like that in God's service. When things went well, they were high on God's truth and His victories. When things went south, they pleaded for release. I, too, have looked for release from trials that to others may seem trivial, but in the heart of the artist they get magnified a hundred times. We wear our hearts on our sleeves through our performance, and all too often they get knocked to the ground, and we can't distinguish whether we were in the right place or time to be offering up service for the pain of unrealized hopes or expectations.
If I had an answer for that type of feeling, a way of acknowledging desire for excellence without missing the point of selfless service, I'd probably have no need to write this entry, because I would have dealt with the problem and gone on about my business. But the struggle is part of the filtering process which allows me to see just where I am in this business of being authentic with myself and with others. Whether things go right is not as important as whether I go right - that is, move in the right direction.
As for family (the real priority), peaks and valleys also dominate the landscape. Peaks include the success of our first few lessons with Learning Language Arts through Literature. Both Marcus and Naomi like their books, and I feel better knowing we'll have a systematic schedule of dealing with grammar and handwriting (Marcus still sees no value in cursive, but I'm about to start requiring it. No other motivation seems to stick.) Our enrichment classes continue to be the highlight of their week. Marcus is developing delivery strategies for his already prodigious public speaking talents, and Naomi has become the stalwart practice queen of baton twirling.
Valleys, well, that would rest on my dear oldest son, who has not started off so well in his all-important junior year. At least he admitted his struggles in Pre-Calc, but transparency doesn't make the grades come up. Considering that he also has issues remembering homework and delivering assignments on time, I'm once again evaluating whether to continue this 'sink or swim' attitude toward his schooling. Knowing he'll be on his own in college and that he'll have to be self motivated and self correcting is one thing - having him fail to make the grades that will get him into the college in the first place is another. Again, not that I didn't expect the valleys, but they just don't seem to get any easier. So I'll sit down with him and really look at what's going on, make the tutor appointments, try to get him to take ownership while not letting him slip through the crack of the "everything's OK" cop-out defense. We'll have to see whether intervention brings results as well as a change in his approach - which I guess is still ultimately up to him. The perfectionist 'keep everything under control' method loses again, which means the 'walk by faith' method will have to kick in. And the journey continues.
After all that, just a little trip to Applebees can seem like an oasis of rest in a desert of bills, grades, and ministry hangups. And we did laugh there at Marcus' charming of the waitress, Naomi's deadpan delivery, and Christopher's quirky perceptions. Miki and I smile at each other more and more when we see them in action, because we simply can't figure out how either of us could have anything to do with how unique our childrens' perspectives are. It's no longer, "She gets that from you," or, "You're just like your..." They are individuals, and now we have to simply love and guide them into being who God wants them to be, not what we expected them to be. I can't say I know what's in store for them, but I know He'll be there with us as the ultimate Parent, and that's enough comfort for us to continue.
Looking unto the hills,
Homeschooldaddy
I would love to believe that I'm never motivated by selfish concerns. Would be enthralled by a sense of purpose and clarity in all my actions, coming from a heart of gold and a spiritual mindset.
If only.
Truth is, it's dreadfully easy to fool yourself. P.T. Barnum said "There's a sucker born every minute", but he could have been referring to each of us as suckers for self-deception. When you think you're free of pride, or of making decisions to boost your own self worth rather than others, that's when reality steps in and shows you that you're prone to the same issues that the preening pop star or the pompous politician wrestle with. Not only that, it's tiring sometimes to keep evaluating yourself. Paul implied in Corinthians that he did not even judge himself, and perhaps that's why he had so much energy and focus on God - because judging yourself is a time and emotion consuming enterprise.
So to put practical meat on this metaphysical bone of an introduction, I'm again dealing with a situation where I felt my desires weren't met. (Yes, it's a church thing, as usual) Our services today were at a high school auditorium. Now, as I should, I'll list the successes of the morning: 1300 in attendance, numerous re-dedications and conversions to Christ, a beautiful display of dance, mime, and musical worship, and a dynamic Word from our Pastor. And what did I come away with?
Yep, perfectionist that I am, the negatives overshadowed it. As someone who does programs every week, I should expect the unexpected. But still, when the sound wasn't working, when the offering was shifted without my knowledge, when the song didn't last long enough for offering and we had to pull out an unrehearsed number, and especially when my family ended up walking (Walking!) from the auditorium because I had to break down the equipment and take it back at the church (no room for family in the SUV when it's full of drums and keyboards), well, I didn't feel very spiritual afterward.
So am I selfish?
Where does the line between disappointment and ungratefulness fall? The book I'm currently reading, "The Heart of the Artist", says perfectionist thinking leads to an all good or all bad type of analysis. Either we're on the mountaintop or in the valley. Emotionally, I think Jeremiah and Elijah, maybe even Jonah were like that in God's service. When things went well, they were high on God's truth and His victories. When things went south, they pleaded for release. I, too, have looked for release from trials that to others may seem trivial, but in the heart of the artist they get magnified a hundred times. We wear our hearts on our sleeves through our performance, and all too often they get knocked to the ground, and we can't distinguish whether we were in the right place or time to be offering up service for the pain of unrealized hopes or expectations.
If I had an answer for that type of feeling, a way of acknowledging desire for excellence without missing the point of selfless service, I'd probably have no need to write this entry, because I would have dealt with the problem and gone on about my business. But the struggle is part of the filtering process which allows me to see just where I am in this business of being authentic with myself and with others. Whether things go right is not as important as whether I go right - that is, move in the right direction.
As for family (the real priority), peaks and valleys also dominate the landscape. Peaks include the success of our first few lessons with Learning Language Arts through Literature. Both Marcus and Naomi like their books, and I feel better knowing we'll have a systematic schedule of dealing with grammar and handwriting (Marcus still sees no value in cursive, but I'm about to start requiring it. No other motivation seems to stick.) Our enrichment classes continue to be the highlight of their week. Marcus is developing delivery strategies for his already prodigious public speaking talents, and Naomi has become the stalwart practice queen of baton twirling.
Valleys, well, that would rest on my dear oldest son, who has not started off so well in his all-important junior year. At least he admitted his struggles in Pre-Calc, but transparency doesn't make the grades come up. Considering that he also has issues remembering homework and delivering assignments on time, I'm once again evaluating whether to continue this 'sink or swim' attitude toward his schooling. Knowing he'll be on his own in college and that he'll have to be self motivated and self correcting is one thing - having him fail to make the grades that will get him into the college in the first place is another. Again, not that I didn't expect the valleys, but they just don't seem to get any easier. So I'll sit down with him and really look at what's going on, make the tutor appointments, try to get him to take ownership while not letting him slip through the crack of the "everything's OK" cop-out defense. We'll have to see whether intervention brings results as well as a change in his approach - which I guess is still ultimately up to him. The perfectionist 'keep everything under control' method loses again, which means the 'walk by faith' method will have to kick in. And the journey continues.
After all that, just a little trip to Applebees can seem like an oasis of rest in a desert of bills, grades, and ministry hangups. And we did laugh there at Marcus' charming of the waitress, Naomi's deadpan delivery, and Christopher's quirky perceptions. Miki and I smile at each other more and more when we see them in action, because we simply can't figure out how either of us could have anything to do with how unique our childrens' perspectives are. It's no longer, "She gets that from you," or, "You're just like your..." They are individuals, and now we have to simply love and guide them into being who God wants them to be, not what we expected them to be. I can't say I know what's in store for them, but I know He'll be there with us as the ultimate Parent, and that's enough comfort for us to continue.
Looking unto the hills,
Homeschooldaddy
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Thanks Familyman...
No better way for me to say this, so here's the entire Familyman e-newsletter for this week.
Thanks Todd for making me feel a little better as I fight the urge to avoid the kids this weekend...(I'm being honest...)
Thanks Todd for making me feel a little better as I fight the urge to avoid the kids this weekend...(I'm being honest...)
Hey Dad,
Sorry for getting this to you so late this week. I’ve been behind the ball, and the fruit flies are back. I’m telling you, these little goomers appear out of nowhere. You leave half a banana on the counter, and the next thing you know, boom! You have an infestation. Well, I didn’t mean to burden you with my hardships, but I do want to wish you a happy Labor Day and to tell you to make it a good’un.
Labor Day is a bittersweet weekend, signaling the end of summer and the beginning of school and routine. Not that that’s all bad, but it still feels kind of sad to me. But thankfully we have a holiday to ease our pain.
In fact, today we’re heading over to my in-law’s lake cottage for a couple of days of last summer fun. We’ll swim in the noticeably colder water, eat watermelon, and sit on the porch talking while the kids play in the notably colder water. All the while, I’ll be thinking about how the summer is over, fall is right around the corner, and that I’ve got an infestation of fruit flies in my home.
I’ve also been thinking about the somewhat-annual backyard camping trip that needs to happen in the next couple of weekends before the nights turn really cold. I’m not sure we’ve pitched the tent in our yard in the last two years, but I know it’s time to get it out. The kids love it. They love the smell of the tent, the warmth of the fire, and the frigid cold in the morning.
I don’t love it---but I love them and what happens when we camp in the backyard. If you want the painfully honest truth, I don’t really love most of what my kids love doing. I don’t love playing kickball, going on bike rides, hosting the Wilson Olympics, or having pillow fights in the familyroom.
BUT---I do love my children and they LOVE doing all that stuff---with ME.
So, Dad, make this Labor Day a good’un. Play hard, camp in the backyard, take a canoe trip down a creek, go for a long-promised bike ride, go to the mall to do some serious back-to-school clothes shopping, or whatever else it is that your children would love to do with you.
Yeah, I know you don’t love doing those things---but I know you do love them.
You ‘da dad,
Todd
Sorry for getting this to you so late this week. I’ve been behind the ball, and the fruit flies are back. I’m telling you, these little goomers appear out of nowhere. You leave half a banana on the counter, and the next thing you know, boom! You have an infestation. Well, I didn’t mean to burden you with my hardships, but I do want to wish you a happy Labor Day and to tell you to make it a good’un.
Labor Day is a bittersweet weekend, signaling the end of summer and the beginning of school and routine. Not that that’s all bad, but it still feels kind of sad to me. But thankfully we have a holiday to ease our pain.
In fact, today we’re heading over to my in-law’s lake cottage for a couple of days of last summer fun. We’ll swim in the noticeably colder water, eat watermelon, and sit on the porch talking while the kids play in the notably colder water. All the while, I’ll be thinking about how the summer is over, fall is right around the corner, and that I’ve got an infestation of fruit flies in my home.
I’ve also been thinking about the somewhat-annual backyard camping trip that needs to happen in the next couple of weekends before the nights turn really cold. I’m not sure we’ve pitched the tent in our yard in the last two years, but I know it’s time to get it out. The kids love it. They love the smell of the tent, the warmth of the fire, and the frigid cold in the morning.
I don’t love it---but I love them and what happens when we camp in the backyard. If you want the painfully honest truth, I don’t really love most of what my kids love doing. I don’t love playing kickball, going on bike rides, hosting the Wilson Olympics, or having pillow fights in the familyroom.
BUT---I do love my children and they LOVE doing all that stuff---with ME.
So, Dad, make this Labor Day a good’un. Play hard, camp in the backyard, take a canoe trip down a creek, go for a long-promised bike ride, go to the mall to do some serious back-to-school clothes shopping, or whatever else it is that your children would love to do with you.
Yeah, I know you don’t love doing those things---but I know you do love them.
You ‘da dad,
Todd
Looking unto the hills,
homeschooldaddy
homeschooldaddy
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