50 Posts!

Wow... Never thought I'd make that kind of milestone. I know for some of you in the blogosphere, 50 posts is a pretty boring month of writing, but it took me two years. You also might notice that about 20% of those posts happened in the last two months. So it only took me 22 months to get the hang of this blogging thing. If I was a NFL quarterback, I would be hitting my stride in my second season, so watch out, to whomever the Brett Farve of blogging is.

Some random thoughts...

1) Father says to child: Can't we get this house to look somewhat decent?

2) Child goes to work on kitchen.

3) Five minutes later, child looks around at half done dishes, a couple of dust piles on the floor and a couple of leftover tupperware containers put away, smiles, and says proudly - "There! Somewhat Decent!"

This would be funny if it didn't actually happen today with Marcus. All I can say is that kids will absolutely perform to expectations - whatever they may be.

- More on the church / homeschooling controversy - I've learned that one of the members concerned thought that my homeschooling on campus was illegal. ILLEGAL. As in, go to jail, you're abusing those kids! You, with your witchcraft virtual classes and your unholy decision to keep your child from wooden desks! Where's the stocks from Salem when you need them? Off with their heads!

Sorry, got carried away - but doesn't that fit the image of someone who is deathly afraid of individual control? I mean, if they tolerate the wholesale indoctrination of a generation into accepting faithless governance, homosexuality as normal, and life as a victim to be admired, wouldn't those same people be intimidated and afraid of those that refuse to be part of the madness? I think so. But I now realize how little they must know of both the legal and practical aspects of homeschooling - and I see a teachable moment on the horizon.

- One such teachable moment - At CVS this morning buying vitamins and epsom salt (Marcus' joint pain seems to be getting worse - Either he's about to sprout 2 inches or he's aging by decades rather than years) we ran into two other kids from our support group. So four homeschool kids are standing at the counter, and the clerk asks the question you know is coming every time -

"You guys out of school?"

Their unanimous answer, in chorus - "We homeschool."

The next 10 minutes, I gave the gentleman a rundown through all the common myths and realities of homeschooling - including socialization ("Do YOU work with adults all the same age?"), testing, subject matter and public school comparisons. I don't know whether he has a better sense of what we do now, but my daughter does. Upon getting in the car after checking out, she said that she agreed with my summary of why socialization in schools is not based in real life experiences. "Because we get to talk to people no matter what their age is," she said. Then she went home and worked on her math lesson - without being asked. Miracles never cease, and motivation is sometimes not direct, but in moments where one realizes what you already have, and that you can make the best of it.

Blessings, and peace to all through Him. Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

Convention - post mortem

OK, it's Tuesday morning, and I should be planning out my day, and completing my devotion - got some great message ideas this morning - but this blog has quickly become my internal sounding board and I want to finish ruminating over this weekend.

A couple of things I didn't quite get to...

1) It's clear that homeschooling dads are present and active in this movement. I saw fathers everywhere - at least a 30 to 70 dad to mom ratio, which if you consider the fact that probably all of them (the dads) were full - time workers, is pretty darn good. I know the stereotype is still of the stay at home mom teaching the kids, while Dad swoops in to "rescue" the kids from the boredom of day to day curricula, but obviously dads like Charles and I see this as more than 'mom's world.' We are intensely concerned about our kids, which brings me to my next point....

2) Dads as primary home school teachers is a secret, small, but growing need that may hold the key to the true growth of family learning becoming an unstoppable force in society. Why do I make such a bold statement?

Because if it is true, even in 2008, that men continue to hold the majority of powerful and influential decision positions in government, church and institutions, then I can think of no greater testament to the power of home schooling than the sight of full time working men LEAVING their professions to be full time teachers at home.

Chris and Naomi at Joe's Crab Shack

Think about it. The 60's and 70's were the so-called liberation years for women to escape the home. We were (and are still) bombarded with the message that women should put their careers first. 20 years later, now the movement is in the 'you can have it all' phase where pre-K is government run and women's groups are promoting any thing and everything that DOESN'T involve the equal partnership of marriage and family. Moms are debating their choices to give up careers to have children late in life, only to find the society either punishes them for leaving work, or chastises them for staying at home. It's literally a no - man's land.

So where does that leave the men? Are we simply enablers, designed to bring home enough bacon so Mom can concentrate on the schooling? Or is it something more, like the fact that men are now entering their liberation movement? Haven't we also been shackled to the corporate chair? Haven't there been enough movies where the main character realizes, almost too late, that sacrificing family for career is a no-win situation?("Family Man" and others like that) So when, I ask, will the men of this country make the radical step that Moms make every day and come home?

Charles related a group at the convention called "Bringing Dads Home". I checked out their site at bobandtinafarewell.com and found they are using home-business opportunities to help dads have an income and still be at home. We discussed ways we can market ourselves and use what we are good at to make money. (I mean, how much corporate experience is used to make money for others, guys? Let's get selfish for our families and use that commercial sense for our own wealth building and not for distant and unconcerned CEO's!)

I know the majority of dads will never have the wherewithal to stay home full time. But the method does not matter, only the goal of having the family unit essentially unified in learning, growing, and sharing life. If that was the primary goal of every dad, I believe the social ills in our country would virtually cease. There is no substitute for the relationships
built when Mom and Dad make God their source and home their sole responsibility.

- Children's children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their father.
Proverbs 17:6

Thanks again, FPEA, for a wonderful convention and I and my family will be back many a year.
And to anyone reading, look for opportunities to be around people like the ones I met this weekend. They will help you be more in tune than ever with the strength and dedication you need to be a real family man or woman. Look to the links for more resources I found during our time in Orlando.

Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

Convention, Day 2

"Carpe diem" doesn't cut it. What is Latin for "throttle the day"'? That's the phrase I need for Saturday. We crammed conventioning and vacationing into 16 hours, but it was all fun.


We started the day with the kids' mad dash to the pool at around 9:30. Christopher has become a very consistent and trustworthy guide, so we let them go by themselves. Miki's desire to swim was overcome by the desire to rest, so we didn't join them til two hours later. By this time I was regretting not going to class in the morning, but as I stated earlier, we needed to let the kids breathe and enjoy the little time they had in the resort area. Lunch in the cabana area was nice, then we dressed and headed to the Rosen Shingle Creek. I made it in time for the last class, a writing improvement course - let's see if it worked on this entry - and the kids and Miki took off for the exhibit hall.

Christopher, I think, was surprised by the massiveness of the thing. I try not to push homeschooling on him, but I want him to know the options we have that he may want to consider. By the end, he was just as enthralled at the info he found. He visited the Marines booth, web site design, Savannah College of Art and Design, and found the Drivers Handbook he was supposed to be studying. It really proved the whole idea of 'family learning' that I support - in other words, the location of your education is unimportant. The destination of your education is paramount.

(By the way, here's an example of the writing workshop strategies I learned)

Clearly, the destination of your education is the most important factor, not where it occurs. ( Starting with "ly")
Ignoring your location, you must be more aware of the destination of your education. (Starting with "ing")
Destination is priority one. (VSS - Very short sentence)

That example was part of the method our presenter used to show new ways of creating variety in writing. Taking this into consideration, I made sure to take notes to help Marcus to summarize better using key words (or as our presenter called it - "Some" -a- rize) and to help Naomi to write more extemporaneously.

Despite making it to the conference, I was still bummed out because we hadn't seen any of our friends. Watch how God works.... as I walked into the writing class, someone reached out for my hand and I reached out absent mindedly to greet the owner - and it belonged to Charles Seifert, the dad of my piano student / homeschool group members Rachel and Amber. Then I saw the whole clan - Jackie, their sons, and of course Amber and Rachel. Naomi had been asking over and over about meeting up with them.... and I run right into them. How perfect was this?

So we sauntered over to the hall to meet up with my kids. Friday afternoon we had taken in one half of the hall - Miki and the kids had worked the other half of the hall. When Jackie and I met them in the front of the hall, she was buzzing about something called "power-glide" for languages. Did I hear correctly? My wife, involved in..... dare I say it.... curriculum choices? (As you read, Miki, please understand this thought only lasted two seconds, then I remembered how supportive you always are. And how much I love and adore you...) We arranged for the kids to swim together back at the resort (they were staying at the same resort as us) and headed to finish up our purchases.

Marcus building at the Block Table (no, he didn't do the tall one)

Yes, we spent money - a lot - but how do you hold back when you see your children's future right in front of you? Each choice means one more step forward for their understanding, hopefully a little easier time for me (we bought journal portfolios that will help them keep up with their assignments), and a little more family time. Hard to pass that up. We'll add up the damage later.

The evening was filled with swimming (Rachel and Amber, like our kids, are fish in training) and watching "The Water Horse" in the hotel theater. They passed out around midnite, as we did.... after having a nice long talk with Charles over dinner as the kids swam, which was the perfect night cap.

Such a long entry, such a long day - I'll have to finish up later.

Looking unto the hills,

homeschooldaddy

Convention...Day 1 (well, Belated Day 1)

Good morning, world.

My last attempt to post was foiled, but that's fine, because everything I was writing was really just a log of stuff that happened yesterday.  I wanted to keep a direct log of our activities leading into the homeschool convention, but I can do that anytime.   Right now, the sun is reflecting off the windows opposite my screened patio outside our hotel / condo.  The temp is about 74 and breezy in Orlando, and I've had two hours to study sermon notes, read, look at the kids sleeping, fix cinnamon raisin bread toast and coffee, listen to John Mayer, and overall, get a wonderful start to my day.  

No matter what else I learn, or spend this weekend, the last two hours makes it worth it. 

Now, as for the convention, all I can say is.....whoa.   Thousands of people like me, crazy enough to think their main priority is their kids?  People of every culture, hundreds of vendors, myriad approaches to learning, enough free stuff to fill two more suitcases?   That's what we're experiencing.  And that was only two hours. 

We spend the first hours Friday enduring a timeshare sales presentation that came with our great rate on the resort we're staying at (ok, so maybe we were more interested then I'm letting on, but I'm a Dave Ramsey listener and if he knew we considered a vacation home, he might send dogs after us.) Then it was off to the convention.  We had to park about a mile away, but the resort hired shuttles which arrived immediately and dropped us off right at the entrance.  We were famished from the sales presentation - perhaps they've learned hungry people make more impulse decisions - but food was provided right at the front, so we joined several other families camped out on the lobby floor, munching on pizza and chicken nuggets.  

The flood of people coming through the lobby at 1:30 seemed to indicate classes were starting, but my wife and I weren't quite ready for classes.  This was her first introduction to how big homeschooling has gotten, and I didn't want to overwhelm her with educationalese. So we went straight to the exhibit hall.  Within minutes, we had Naomi fitted for a violin, Marcus playing in a chess tournament, Miki and I speaking with a speech therapist, and the kids looking through microscopes.  Now THAT is what I call limitless learning. 

Perhaps this first time, I shouldn't feel guilty if we don't make it to any classes.  The experience of the first day was enough to re-energize me that we are among friends and that the kids are truly benefiting from our choice to homeschool.  Even though I haven't met any other homeschool dads, I'm among people that feel the way I feel about their kids, and that is infectious and invigorating.  At the end of today, I'm sure I'll feel even more that way.  And yes, I will put specifics about curricula and strategies eventually in this blog, but right now I'm just absorbing the moment.  And a great moment it is, a blessed moment that I give God praise for.  

Looking unto the hills,

homeschoooldaddy (acp) 

On the eve of the convention...

OK, it's not a total vacation, but it's the closest we've ever got.

Tomorrow we attend the Florida Homeschool Convention in Orlando, FL. After much wrangling and soul searching, we've decided to take the kids along. Not because we didn't want them, but because we really didn't know when our next opportunity to be on a trip alone would be. I'm glad now, because we can share the discoveries with our kids immediately, instead of coming home with a load of stuff and throwing it at them willy nilly. I'll try to keep a log of our activities to help someone see into what caught our attention and why.

Today's homeschool stuff involved Marcus calling up his Virtual School teacher on his own - I've never seen him so focused. It almost makes me wonder if I should set up a website and teach him virtually from the other room... maybe he'd pay more attention to me (just kidding).
Naomi struggled through upside down multiplication, which reminded me that she has to keep reviewing old material. She just does better when she's taking a slower pace, but I have to keep her moving to avoid her getting frustrated.

Our life lessons came from our high gas prices. I've been monitoring our gas usage closely, as my 1999 Mazda practically bleeds oil. The tank was on half, and I had the tripometer on, which showed 147 miles traveled since last fill-up. I took a quick look at the manual to see the fuel tank capacity, then asked Marcus and Naomi to figure out the miles per gallon. Both at first missed the operation needed - division- and I had to walk Marcus through dividing decimals, but he got the estimate pretty close. Naomi of course bemoaned the whole exercise. She did better on my other family learning project - changing the thermostat to a digital programmable one instead of the classic twist knob version that was originally in the house.

I took off the original casing so they could see the vacuum tube with the bead of mercury inside, then promised 5 bucks to the one that could identify the liquid. Marcus and Chris went ballistic into Wikipedia, but Naomi calmly looked into the tube and did some observation of the whole. She prefers the systematic approach rather than the home-run hits that the boys relate to educationally. She'll make a great researcher or chemist one day because of her keen sense of putting pieces together to make a whole. (Marcus got the five dollars though.)

Time to rest up for the trip... see you in Von Trapp Disney....

Looking unto the hills,

acp

The prize of quietude...

Been a while since my serene and seemingly clear-headed friend insomnia has visited me. But my old familiar friend is back, leading me around the house, starting tasks that I should have done weeks ago and leaving them to be finished months later. It's amazing how much I have to do to achieve this quiet time. After a day of work, learning, running back and forth, it seems I have to earn the right to ignore the tyrannical call of sleep. Why should I give up the hours that rightfully belong to me? I've conquered the kids - their shifting and snores in their beds proves I won the fight over bedtime and successfully filled their day with enough activity to knock them out.

These chores that surround me? I'm thankful I have them to do, 'cause it means I was able to earn the money to have things to clean up and organize. Plus, it has become the one time I'm enveloped in my own activity. I mean, who's judging the color coordination of my hangers but me? No one, that's who. I am the master of my closet.

My musical choice, which is on repeat, is Jonathan Nelson's "My Name is Victory". It's a sleeper hit in Black gospel circles. I've gotten pretty good at predicting which songs will become hot in radio play long before they become popular. Perhaps that's because I listen for themes that encourage me when I'm not thinking about choirs or playing for church. If this song tells me at 3 AM that I'm a champion, can tell me that my identity is sown up in Christ even at my most mundane moments, I'm sure someone else can identify with the same sentiment.

As you can probably tell, this post is rambling such as my mind and my body is right now. The only 'deep' thought I am entertaining as a subject is the fact that as I near this 34th year of my life, I am treasuring even more the understanding that I've come through enough to realize I have one major purpose - to be everything God wants me to be and nothing He doesn't. I'm shifting into a more settled, but determined phase - where I expect the struggle to be more with being me than doing what people expect of me. Perhaps that's why these early morning moments have been mileposts in my daily life. Even though I know I'll pay for the sleepless night with groggy eyes and loss of focus tomorrow, I can remember each time I did so like it was yesterday. The night I was at Boy Scout camp, overlooking the lake at night with the moon as my nightlight in Northwestern Florida. The night in Dunkin Donuts, playing "Trusting God" over and over and writing what became my mission statement - Love of God, Love of Family, Love for Others.

Call it my Jacob moment, wrestling with the angels of desire, purpose, and destiny, shielding me from the silent but giant doubts and fears of success, failure, and the unknown. What makes this a prize? The fact that God, who is up anyway, has a bit of time with me to just watch me being me. He's nice like that - talking loud enough for me to hear, but not enough to wake up the kids. When I catch that 12 Pm nap and the kids wake me up, perhaps I'll be a little more ready to do something with the hours I've left myself - to be physically what I've become mentally and spiritually the night before.

Looking unto the hills,

acp

Misunderstanding + mis-vision = opposition

(Continuation of last post)

If there were so much understanding of the father's role in their children's lives, I would have lots of fathers in my fatherhood focus group on Saturday mornings at the church. When it was announced, the classes offered cash incentives and breakfast served, all for no cost to the participants. The program has been offered in Hispanic areas to great success. So, considering the considerable and consistent statistical knowledge of how needed African American fathers are, we should have had overflowing attendance in the class we offered, right?

Lucky guess. Actually, there were only two at last class. The others were Middle Eastern and Hispanic dads.

This is why I find opposition must be a result of misunderstanding and mis-vision. Misunderstanding in that the people against my homeschooling must not understand the main reasoning for my scheduling decision is to maximize my work efficiency, not to lower it. And mis-vision because they cannot see the priority of my choice in the context of what God has led me to understand about the role of the father.

In the Old Testament, there are very clear indications that the father is responsible for the worldview and training of the child in a very direct sense. There was no public school system, nor were mothers given the primary role of teacher. This of course is a generalization of thousands of verses, but it's obvious that Proverbs, for example, concentrates on the father - son relationship. When I realized that I was biblically responsible for my children's entire spiritual and mental formation, I realized that I could not, without further instructions from the Holy Spirit, release my children back to the public system. This led to my leaving teaching in elementary and homeschooling full time for one year.

Still, I understood upon taking the full time position at the church would strain both our family learning and my ability to work, I made sure to get permission from my pastor, and I discussed the implications for months before starting to take the kids to work.

Now, perhaps I am overreacting to outside comments that may amount to nothing. But this opposition has only strengthened my resolve. As long as anyone thinks that parenting is not the primary method for raising disciples to Christ, and stands in opposition to the most effective means of achieving that goal, I have work to do. I may not be able to correct all misunderstanding about why I do what I do; neither should I try to. But I can continue to show through my example and my expression that nothing should come before the satisfaction and education of my children. And I intend to do so.

Looking unto the hills,

acp

http://www.enfamiliamiami.org

Only + lonely + attacked = ?

OK, now this is getting ridiculous.

Without giving details that would endanger trust, I can admit that I know my decision to homeschool at work is being questioned. Questioned as in, implying that having my kids at work is somehow detrimental to the church or my ability to work effectively.

Excuse me while I make some salient points to whomever thinks this makes sense.

"TONIGHT, about four of every ten children in the United States will go to sleep in homes
where their fathers do not live. Before they reach the age of eighteen, more than half of
America’s children are likely to spend at least a significant portion of their childhoods liv-
ing apart from their fathers."

- "Turning the Corner on Father Absence In Black America", Morehouse College Conference on African American Fathers, 1999

"Because parents tend to be stricter on children of the same sex, the role of fathers is crucial to the growth of boys' self-esteem, said Mandara, a graduate student. Specifically, the pressure that fathers place on boys to achieve builds boys' self-confidence.

Mandara and Murray's study flies in the face of recent studies that concluded the role of the father in the African American household was not very important."

-From UC Riverside article re: a study by psychologists Jelani Mandara and Carolyn Murray, 2000


I missed the part that said where having my kids near me was a bad thing.

The fact that someone in an African American church is upset that an African American dad wants his kids to be with him at work is baffling. I would understand if I was giving them 40's and blunts, or if I had them watching reruns of "Sister Sister" for four hours straight.
But at church?

For those who don't know, our schedule fits into my work like this: (try to keep up). I work at the church Monday through Thursday, Saturday and of course Sunday. During those days, I bring my kids to work from 9 to 2 on every other Monday and from 9 to 12 on Tuesdays. Every other day when I bring them to work, they participate in the tutoring program at our church, so that they interact with their public school counterparts. Of course it allows me more time at work, but since I work mostly nights in rehearsals, that morning time is the most I spend with the kids.

So of course, my time with them is affecting my work, right?
Wrong. In that time, they are usually on their laptops in my office. Sometimes I'll become their tech support, getting them back on the internet, checking over a podcast they're downloading, but for the most part they are working on their own. It provides a time away from the temptation of TV and forces them to concentrate on their studies. My kids' interaction with the staff is like that of junior interns. They sometimes deliver messages or run small errands, but mostly they provide comic relief and sounding boards for their projects. There have been no incidents whatsoever of them causing distraction for the office or the employees.

OK, so now there's no employment issue I can find, and no socially negative influence. If there was a liability problem, well, let's not mention the hundreds of children we have in tutoring each day that we are not insured against. Point blank, there is no way anyone can give me a valid reason why I shouldn't have the ability to have my kids at this particular workplace...unless...

Who's being tested?

Who's being tested?

Once again I'm lying in bed, contemplating the week's events, thanking and thinking. The kids had testing this week. Amazing, the only one with test anxiety was the one not taking the test - yes, yours truly. I fell back into FCAT strategy mumbo jumbo... talking about pacing and other things that have nothing to do with actual knowledge. My fear was that the kids would fall back into panic if there was material we hadn't covered. So imagine my surprise, pleasantly, when the kids bustled out of the site saying testing was - gasp - FUN.

Wait. You mean a year of not focusing on test taking strategies and robotic drill and practice actually contributed to more positive feelings about testing? Imagine that. Whatever will the Florida Board of Education do when (in a million years) they discover this?

I won't have scores for at least a month, but I rest assured that children that approach tests as personal challenge and not a socialist responsibilty to carry their school's reputation on their shoulders will, in the long run, score better. One can always think better without the weight of outside expectations weighing you down. So next year maybe I'll tell them to miss a few on purpose just for fun.

Only kidding.

Looking into the hills,

Acp

Leaving legacies...

This morning we have several issues that may be facing our family. Summer is on the way, the kids have final projects and tests looming, Miki and I are debating financial decisions (what to do with money the government thinks we should spend - in other words, bail them out with the money they take from us - how apropo... ) but what's foremost on my mind is an unfortunate loss of a colleague in ministry by the name of Rev. English. I learned just today he was killed in a car accident last weekend. That shock was followed by the announcement that he would be buried out of town, and the memorial service had already taken place in Miami. In other words, there would be no paying of respects, no final viewing. He's gone and gone.

This gentleman was a musician in a local small church, and we ran into each other frequently in Baptist conventions and church engagements in central Miami. He was always gregarious, laughing, kind of the off - kilter uncle that talks a little too loud and leans in a little too close, but you know he can't help it. He also wasn't the most skilled musician, but he was always there at every function. Mostly though, he was almost overly impressed by my playing. That always made me feel good, even a little uncomfortable, knowing that an older musician looked up to me. I was even thinking of starting a church musician course with musicians like him in mind - people that have been faithful for years but never had adequate or continuous training in music theory or piano technique. In this way I hoped to give back to my forebears in church music while forging a new path. Now, it seems at least for one soldier, I waited a bit too long.

The point I take from this is that as the younger generation watches the older ones pass to reward, we must face the fact that we can't wait for our older days to come before beginning to forge our legacies. The way we deal with our elders is part of the legacy we leave - if it be kindness or neglect. In many respects our parents now look up to us. We have the advantage technologically, of course, and socially we may be more knowledgeable and understanding of relationship techniques and parenting skills, but they will always have the edge of knowing that life is longer and more complicated than we ever see at the present. Our elders have that sense of timelessness, of the principles that don't change with presidents or pundits, new preachers or popular TV shows. No, they are not perfect, but they've proven through lifetime experience that they don't have to be. And maybe we should take a clue from them, like I do from Rev. English, that being all God made you to be is the highest form of perfection one can hope to attain. May God add wings to the prayers for his family.

Looking unto the hills,

acp

Today's quote

"I have found my comedic voice. I have yet to find my comedic audience."

- Chris Paul, 16, defending his sense of humor.

Only = lonely?

Blogging from the iPod again so forgive the typos. The kids are
winding down from the year and all I've really given them is review
work from previous lessons. Naomi showed some weakness in grammar so
I'm reviewing that with her. Marcus has finally got the hang of turning
in virtual school documents (I hope). They both test next week so I'm
not sure how they'll react to being reintroduced to standardized
testing. Hopefully they will remember that tests are designed to show where we have progressed and where we need to progress further, not as an end to progress.

Now for the introspection.


I've been thinking a lot lately about my lot in life and the unlikely roles I play - full time dad, full time minister, musician, homeschooling dad, husband and father for most of my adult life, homeowner at the age of 24, etc. I start to think about how few people I can really share some of these experiences with. Dad? Of course there are plenty of dads I could talk to, but how many are homeschooling? Homeschooler? Yes, I thank God for the opportunity I've had to be in my children's lives, but being male and African American means again I'm not exactly the prototype. Musician? Most of my contemporaries are either striving to make millions or are content to play on the weekends.

At each point where I am in the center of a group, I am on the outside in some way.

So is loneliness the obvious result? Is the fact that I feel somewhat - well, different - at each point of my life a sign of progress beyond the norm, or a sign of my ineffectiveness in connecting with likeminded people? As one matures, should finding peers naturally become more difficult? And if so, what determines how you move on? After all, you have to be a stranger before you become a friend, and you have to be willing to introduce yourself into other circles before you can be accepted among new groups and be introduced to new opportunities.
But it's the comfort of the familiar that usually frees one to be one's self.

There seems to be an implicit uneasiness that must accompany the progression from complacency to challenge, from knowing who you are to knowing you are becoming something else. When I realize that I am in a unique position, it verifies both that I'm a independent figure, created like no one else in the world by God, but it also verifies that I am dependent on the relationships and the people around me to help me see who I am. Without learning to adjust in situations in which I am not the same as everyone else, I would not able to handle the adjustments I've had to make to changing situations in my own life. When you can be around others that are not like you, it can help you see other perspectives - even when you begin to adopt them. To be in the sinkhole of sameness keeps you unable to re-imagine yourself. So I'm grateful for the only-ness, if only for the reason that it means I'm willing to grow beyond what I am now. It confirms that I can be comfortable around others while knowing I am not, and should not, be the same myself.


That's enough for now....

Looking unto the hills, acp