Leaving legacies...

This morning we have several issues that may be facing our family. Summer is on the way, the kids have final projects and tests looming, Miki and I are debating financial decisions (what to do with money the government thinks we should spend - in other words, bail them out with the money they take from us - how apropo... ) but what's foremost on my mind is an unfortunate loss of a colleague in ministry by the name of Rev. English. I learned just today he was killed in a car accident last weekend. That shock was followed by the announcement that he would be buried out of town, and the memorial service had already taken place in Miami. In other words, there would be no paying of respects, no final viewing. He's gone and gone.

This gentleman was a musician in a local small church, and we ran into each other frequently in Baptist conventions and church engagements in central Miami. He was always gregarious, laughing, kind of the off - kilter uncle that talks a little too loud and leans in a little too close, but you know he can't help it. He also wasn't the most skilled musician, but he was always there at every function. Mostly though, he was almost overly impressed by my playing. That always made me feel good, even a little uncomfortable, knowing that an older musician looked up to me. I was even thinking of starting a church musician course with musicians like him in mind - people that have been faithful for years but never had adequate or continuous training in music theory or piano technique. In this way I hoped to give back to my forebears in church music while forging a new path. Now, it seems at least for one soldier, I waited a bit too long.

The point I take from this is that as the younger generation watches the older ones pass to reward, we must face the fact that we can't wait for our older days to come before beginning to forge our legacies. The way we deal with our elders is part of the legacy we leave - if it be kindness or neglect. In many respects our parents now look up to us. We have the advantage technologically, of course, and socially we may be more knowledgeable and understanding of relationship techniques and parenting skills, but they will always have the edge of knowing that life is longer and more complicated than we ever see at the present. Our elders have that sense of timelessness, of the principles that don't change with presidents or pundits, new preachers or popular TV shows. No, they are not perfect, but they've proven through lifetime experience that they don't have to be. And maybe we should take a clue from them, like I do from Rev. English, that being all God made you to be is the highest form of perfection one can hope to attain. May God add wings to the prayers for his family.

Looking unto the hills,

acp

Today's quote

"I have found my comedic voice. I have yet to find my comedic audience."

- Chris Paul, 16, defending his sense of humor.

Only = lonely?

Blogging from the iPod again so forgive the typos. The kids are
winding down from the year and all I've really given them is review
work from previous lessons. Naomi showed some weakness in grammar so
I'm reviewing that with her. Marcus has finally got the hang of turning
in virtual school documents (I hope). They both test next week so I'm
not sure how they'll react to being reintroduced to standardized
testing. Hopefully they will remember that tests are designed to show where we have progressed and where we need to progress further, not as an end to progress.

Now for the introspection.


I've been thinking a lot lately about my lot in life and the unlikely roles I play - full time dad, full time minister, musician, homeschooling dad, husband and father for most of my adult life, homeowner at the age of 24, etc. I start to think about how few people I can really share some of these experiences with. Dad? Of course there are plenty of dads I could talk to, but how many are homeschooling? Homeschooler? Yes, I thank God for the opportunity I've had to be in my children's lives, but being male and African American means again I'm not exactly the prototype. Musician? Most of my contemporaries are either striving to make millions or are content to play on the weekends.

At each point where I am in the center of a group, I am on the outside in some way.

So is loneliness the obvious result? Is the fact that I feel somewhat - well, different - at each point of my life a sign of progress beyond the norm, or a sign of my ineffectiveness in connecting with likeminded people? As one matures, should finding peers naturally become more difficult? And if so, what determines how you move on? After all, you have to be a stranger before you become a friend, and you have to be willing to introduce yourself into other circles before you can be accepted among new groups and be introduced to new opportunities.
But it's the comfort of the familiar that usually frees one to be one's self.

There seems to be an implicit uneasiness that must accompany the progression from complacency to challenge, from knowing who you are to knowing you are becoming something else. When I realize that I am in a unique position, it verifies both that I'm a independent figure, created like no one else in the world by God, but it also verifies that I am dependent on the relationships and the people around me to help me see who I am. Without learning to adjust in situations in which I am not the same as everyone else, I would not able to handle the adjustments I've had to make to changing situations in my own life. When you can be around others that are not like you, it can help you see other perspectives - even when you begin to adopt them. To be in the sinkhole of sameness keeps you unable to re-imagine yourself. So I'm grateful for the only-ness, if only for the reason that it means I'm willing to grow beyond what I am now. It confirms that I can be comfortable around others while knowing I am not, and should not, be the same myself.


That's enough for now....

Looking unto the hills, acp

Tests, Texting, and Testiness

Random thoughts of a cluttered mind....

- When did my most frustrating moments become my inability to text a person as fast as I could say the same thing by calling? and...

- Why do I insist on texting them anyway?

- When I tested my kids on information they learned last year, Naomi's comment was "Dad, my brain is getting too full."

- Am I getting frustrated because it's been a long year of school, or because I realize the kids are a year closer to leaving me and I've wasted countless chances to bond with them?

- (For teens only) How can you send 1000 texts in one month? Do you have some kind of training program? Is their a textathon somewhere my teenage son is preparing for?

- At what point did my favorite phrase become, "It's not like I'm so much older than you, but..."

- The highlight of any man's day is finding two matching socks on the first dig into the mismatch sock basket. (Admit it, you've got one too.)

- Proof that I should make the kids pay for stuff...

Marcus - "Name something in life that isn't free."

Naomi - "well, everything in my life is free b'cause my parents pay for everything."

- The simpler a concept is, the more you have to explain it.

- The only time I miss childhood is when I'm witnessing someone wasting theirs.

- At this pace of life, I have to get to know myself everyday for fear I'll forget who I am.

- What could God do with our lives if we weren't in the way?

Looking unto the hills,
acp

The future is on a 3.5 inch screen.

Since I have been unable to consistently blog with my laptop, maybe my
new iPod touch will motivate me to write more often. It seems all our
technology is designed to make our eyes unable to focus on anything
bigger than our hand.

We are completing our science fair abstracts, after successfully
spilling enough soda to start a bottling company. The kids chose to
replay the diet coke and mentor soda geyser experiment made famous by
Mythbusters and youtube videos. Maybe not the most practical of
topics, but certainly not a boring one. It also gave us opportunity to
work on the scientific method, which I was worried about not covering
enough.

As for family life, Miki and I continue to weigh our options. We both
see the need for more time for ourselves, but it's always a struggle
to break away long enough to really recharge. Jesus made a habit of
taking time for prayer away from the crowds, so we have to be able to
leave the kids in good hands once in a while and regroup as a couple
for both faith and fun. I mean, He was all God and man, so I know we
mere mortals need rest too. Now to schedule that is another story.

Looking unto the hills...

Acp