Wow, a full three weeks and I kind of dropped of the face of the earth. Not literally, but about in every other sense of the word. I've had about as bad a period of 'blues' as I've had in a while. And during that time, I felt that "midnight of the soul" hunger for some kind of hope, even as my conscious mind related all the obvious things that were going well. Thank God that patience from my wife and a word from the Pastor helped me snap out of it. I won't accept that periods like that are necessary, only that when they happen they can teach us that faith has to outlast feelings, and this time it did again.
Now to happier thoughts - my new theme song.
Mute Math is a hybrid Christian / alternative - well I hate labels, so let's just say they're awesome musicians. I love anything that breaks boundries, and even though their lead singer is a dead ringer for Sting /early Peter Gabriel, I'm loving their electronic / pop sound. The song that I have been wearing out is their single "Typical". Just the first few lines speak directly to my (and I'm sure many others) current state of mind...
Come on, can I dream for one day?
There's nothing that can't be done
But how long should it take somebody
Before they can be someone
Cuz I know there's got to be another level
Somewhere closer to the other side
And I'm feelin' like it's now or never
Can I break the spell of the typical?
And that became my mantra / prayer in this past week. Whatever happens, today, Lord, let it not be typical. Not predictable or run of the mill. Let this day be a breakthrough day in my relationships, work, my faith, my finances - SOMETHING. And considering that I had the same stresses today as many and still found the time to take care of some major things that were nagging me, I have to say that prayer was answered. Maybe it won't be thunder and lightning from the sky, but I'm sure that each day I'm more focused on His will for my family and my life, will not be a typical day. May your days also be anything but typical.
The kids also did something atypical - a video podcast. It's at our webpage at web.mac.com/allenpaul and also on Itunes. If you only knew how many takes it took just to make a pizza...Emeril can keep the job, and the iron chefs too. :-)
Looking unto the hills,
acp
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Pushing through....
We returned to our Park group today and I felt so behind. Not because of some assignments, but just because obviously the other families were up on the current events of the group. It was tempting not to join this year in an attempt to save time, but again I have to look at the whole picture - Naomi is now helping create an environmental club with her friends, and both kids were able to get homeschool ID cards. The support group helps us find things like that that are not necessarily part of anyone's curriculum. Even though I'm still the only homeschooling dad of the group, there are other fathers that come around so I'm not the only man standing around, which helps a bit. I know the gender thing isn't the most important thing, but I do feel more and more a need to find other men to network with.
Not much else this morning, will check in later.
Looking unto the hills,
ap
Not much else this morning, will check in later.
Looking unto the hills,
ap
Sunday, October 07, 2007
What a day...
...and not just for me. I guess you can say we are "churched out" for today. We've spent a couple of days just relaxing and recovering from the week.
Friday was another great day at enrichment - I was able to volunteer in Naomi's ceramics class and help her to craft a clay bowl. They'll dry and fire them over the weekend and she'll be able to paint it next week. Saturday was spent trying to un-virus Christopher's computer...makes me even more wary about his computer time if he's downloading unfamiliar things... and preparing for Sunday Service. The kids have become "Brain Quest" fanatics - they spent all evening quizzing each other on factoids - which I can't say I object to. They could find many worse things to drive each other crazy with. Another plus was the arrival of Marcus' fraction overlays - in minutes we were practicing equivalent fractions, something that I couldn't do with my "homemade" versions. (Sometimes saving money is losing time!)
Oh yes, and we spent a lot of time watching "Travel Channel" - as a break during the day it's been nice to turn on the TV and watch "Passport to Europe w/ Samantha". She does a tour guide look at several European cities, which I promptly had the kids look up. While it wasn't a unit I was planning, it fits into our daily schedule and provides some independent study opportunities for the kids. The more they know about the world, the more they'll be able to function and relate to all the international news they hear from day to day.
Personally, I'm still working on that relaxation vs. procrastination thing - I know I need the rest today but it seems there's always a reason why I should be moving. Perhaps it's the fact that time is moving so fast. High School is now a distant memory at 15 years past, and college is quickly moving into the same place in the rear view mirror. So standing still sometimes feels like moving backward. I know there is so much to be accomplished, and yet I have to rely on bursts of energy and synergistic days where everything falls into place to feel like I got anything done. But maybe that's the way all of us have to operate - knowing that it's mostly 3 steps forward and two steps back - while realizing that progress has still been made.
I hope to connect with other homeschool dads in the near future. Feel free to write or comment on any entry - I'm always open to network and share with other fathers that are taking the lead in their children's future.
Looking unto the hills,
acp
Friday was another great day at enrichment - I was able to volunteer in Naomi's ceramics class and help her to craft a clay bowl. They'll dry and fire them over the weekend and she'll be able to paint it next week. Saturday was spent trying to un-virus Christopher's computer...makes me even more wary about his computer time if he's downloading unfamiliar things... and preparing for Sunday Service. The kids have become "Brain Quest" fanatics - they spent all evening quizzing each other on factoids - which I can't say I object to. They could find many worse things to drive each other crazy with. Another plus was the arrival of Marcus' fraction overlays - in minutes we were practicing equivalent fractions, something that I couldn't do with my "homemade" versions. (Sometimes saving money is losing time!)
Oh yes, and we spent a lot of time watching "Travel Channel" - as a break during the day it's been nice to turn on the TV and watch "Passport to Europe w/ Samantha". She does a tour guide look at several European cities, which I promptly had the kids look up. While it wasn't a unit I was planning, it fits into our daily schedule and provides some independent study opportunities for the kids. The more they know about the world, the more they'll be able to function and relate to all the international news they hear from day to day.
Personally, I'm still working on that relaxation vs. procrastination thing - I know I need the rest today but it seems there's always a reason why I should be moving. Perhaps it's the fact that time is moving so fast. High School is now a distant memory at 15 years past, and college is quickly moving into the same place in the rear view mirror. So standing still sometimes feels like moving backward. I know there is so much to be accomplished, and yet I have to rely on bursts of energy and synergistic days where everything falls into place to feel like I got anything done. But maybe that's the way all of us have to operate - knowing that it's mostly 3 steps forward and two steps back - while realizing that progress has still been made.
I hope to connect with other homeschool dads in the near future. Feel free to write or comment on any entry - I'm always open to network and share with other fathers that are taking the lead in their children's future.
Looking unto the hills,
acp
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Encourage Yourself...
Sunday evening and a little procrastination has set in - or is it relaxation? I forget which is which.
Our teen choir sang at church today. In some churches 12 - 15 teens in a choir would be a joy, but at my 'mega' church it makes the choir stand look empty. Now the kids did a great job singing, but it's still tough to pull off. Add to that an embarassing showing at a church on Wednesday - one that has brought very public criticism - and that demon of doubt and discouragement has been creeping into my thought process. It isn't that I feel God has deserted me, ala Mother Teresa, but it is a questioning of whether I'm correctly identifying His purposes for me. But a time of prayer and reflection has reminded me that I am able to handle this challenge because I've been given the tools, through previous struggles, to overcome it.
It's funny how issues in one area make you worry about others that are not really a problem. Just getting a spelling book seemed to revitalize our homeschool lessons, but now I find myself wondering if we will make real progress or if the kids are (dare I say it?) "falling behind". We've done pretty well with 4 day week lessons, but I'm tempted to add an assignment on Mondays to even out the weeks activities. However, I'm pretty sure once I get our Weaver curriculum (I've been disputing with my Ebay seller for two weeks now!) I'll be much more comfortable. Fridays at our enrichment class have been a great success (if not a little expensive) and we're about ready to start podcasting again. I just have to carve out the time and prioritize the creative types of activities. Oh yes, and also find the time to, um, relax.
Looking unto the hills,
acp
Our teen choir sang at church today. In some churches 12 - 15 teens in a choir would be a joy, but at my 'mega' church it makes the choir stand look empty. Now the kids did a great job singing, but it's still tough to pull off. Add to that an embarassing showing at a church on Wednesday - one that has brought very public criticism - and that demon of doubt and discouragement has been creeping into my thought process. It isn't that I feel God has deserted me, ala Mother Teresa, but it is a questioning of whether I'm correctly identifying His purposes for me. But a time of prayer and reflection has reminded me that I am able to handle this challenge because I've been given the tools, through previous struggles, to overcome it.
It's funny how issues in one area make you worry about others that are not really a problem. Just getting a spelling book seemed to revitalize our homeschool lessons, but now I find myself wondering if we will make real progress or if the kids are (dare I say it?) "falling behind". We've done pretty well with 4 day week lessons, but I'm tempted to add an assignment on Mondays to even out the weeks activities. However, I'm pretty sure once I get our Weaver curriculum (I've been disputing with my Ebay seller for two weeks now!) I'll be much more comfortable. Fridays at our enrichment class have been a great success (if not a little expensive) and we're about ready to start podcasting again. I just have to carve out the time and prioritize the creative types of activities. Oh yes, and also find the time to, um, relax.
Looking unto the hills,
acp
Monday, September 24, 2007
Spending Time...
Once again I have to report a pretty basic day... no lessons as I've flipped my workday to Monday to allow for enrichment classes on Fridays. I haven't really investigated the benefits of a four day school week, but it's worked for us. I think the grind of the busy days we do have lessons makes up for the days like today. We still have piano lessons on Mondays so we have some activity.
But I know it's important that I keep at least some regular hours at our church. It's tough to balance the two. At the beginning of the day, it looked like our friend wasn't going to be able to watch them - boy, were they bummed out. Spending all day in Dad's office is not their idea of fun. But she picked them up and all was right with the world again - and I suppose I was relieved too. I don't pretend I don't need the break myself. I haven't yet got the hang of teaching and working at the same time.
Our Weaver curriculum came through, so hopefully we can report on how that goes in the next few weeks.
I'm thinking of starting a music blog to help me express the other side of my life - although it might work out in this blog as well - I'll make an announcement if I do. Also, check out The Daddycast and Kidswifeworklife.com I found both of these very well done podcasts. You can find them on Itunes.
Looking unto the hills,
acp
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